Funniest Cat Books Novels & Stories

Damn, Freckles. The first book I pulled out was called “Images You Should Not Masturbate To”. I snorted, flipping through a couple of pages and shaking my head. That sarcastic streak of hers ran deep. I grabbed another, the title catching my eye: “How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill.” I let out a short laugh, one that came from somewhere I’d almost forgotten existed. Then there were the others—Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself, Do-It-Yourself Coffins for Pets and People, and, for good measure, How to Raise Your IQ by Eating Gifted Children. I shook my head, glancing back at her still sleeping form.

There was a towering, luxurious cat tree, a diamond-studded automatic water dispenser, and a cat bed lined with velvet cushions that looked even comfier than the one in my tiny rental. My eyelids twitched. [Holy cow! Is Mr. Hendrick turning the house into a cat cafe? He's never even fussed over the female lead this much!] [Is he seriously treating her like a pet? Did this supporting female character rescue the galaxy in her past life or something?] [Stop being naive. This is all a show for the female lead! When she comes back and sees this, she'll go crazy with jealousy. This is going to be hilarious!] I stared at all the things clearly not meant for a human. I was having mixed feelings.

I'm not a wuss in any way, but I'll definitely run for my life if I see one. I love cats most of all. I usually see dogs as playful, loving animals( well, most dogs). But cats seem really smart to me. They have calculated motives and actions. And despite being small, they're aggressive if need be. I had a cat when my dad was alive. Actually, my mum did. Her name was Snow( and no, the cat wasn't white) and I know I liked watching Snow lick herself or play with her toys. Mum wouldn't let me go near her because at the time, I was pretty young. Maybe six years old, I don't really remember.

babies started crying and she needed to feed them, but she just sat on the couch took each one of them and the most unthinkable thing happened she just ripped her breast out right there, Keegan realized Bryan was there so he jumped up to cover her breast, fuck I have always been jealous since all my best friends had proper breast mine was small in relation to theirs. But she yelled at him “next time you need food I’ll Hide you to. I’ll throw a blanket over your head and see if you like that, this is for feeding my kids not sex objects.” She was pissed and me and Bryan just stood there staring at them. Here’s the thing about Cat, she might be the sweetest most loving thing ever. But she does

“You’re totally having a girl. Trust me, I have a sixth sense for these things.” “You thought my waiter’s cat was pregnant last month,” I reminded her. Naomi flushed. “Okay, but to be fair, it looked pregnant.” “It was a male cat.” “Fine, bad example,” she huffed, but she was smiling. I couldn’t help but smile too. For a blissful thirty minutes or possibly more, we giggled over miniature shoes and impossibly soft blankets, debating whether babies really needed hats with animal ears or if that was just a scam to sell more fabric.

"Only guys pick boring colours. They think it makes them more masculine." "Your favourite colour is silver, how is that any better?" "Because it's not black." This time it was Cassar's turn to roll his eyes. "Okay, what is your favourite animal? You can't say fox." I groaned. Fox was my answer, but I wanted peanut butter. So I smirked up at him. "Cat." Cassar gave me a flat look, but handed over the peanut butter. "Mines a dog. Favourite book?"

I said cheerfully. “Of course sweetheart, we don’t want you in any pain!” “Thanks Ma!” I replied. I walked to the shelf Over the fire place with some of Da books on. I picked one up and flicked through it. The pages were completely blank. I sighed, “of course it is not real. Why would it be?” I grumbled There was a shimmer next to me, Fluff appeared “ about time” “Dam that cat!” Hissed the pretend Ma walking in from the kitchen.

I quickly typed back, "Seven thousand dollars?" "Yeah," Lenny replied immediately. "Our cat is a little princess. Just imagine how jealous the other cats would be if they rode back in a Maybach." I stared at this message, still reeling in disbelief. Even I, the owner, had never ridden in a Maybach. Yet, Lenny expected me to spend seven thousand dollars so my cat could ride in one? Seeing that I didn't reply, Lenny immediately sent a voice message. "Why aren't you replying? I'm doing you a favor here."

“I’m being nice.” And just like that, as if summoned by the sheer magnitude of our chaos, a voice sliced through the aisle, like the universe had decided someone needed a front-row seat to this nonsense. “Just so you know,” he said, leaning casually on the shelf, “cats have a sixth sense for emotional instability. They usually pick the messiest house to adopt.” We both turned.

I can see in her eyes and behavior that she was very interested as she get more closer to me. As I flipped the first page of the book and asked the name of the first animal picture, instead of answering me, she leaned closer on me looking at the booked in my hands, I can only see now her head as it covered the entire book page. She was amused because the book was in 3D pages, that she did not answered yet my question. "Jade what animal is that?" I asked her again as I was also amused with her excitement. "A cat, a big cat!" she said with a big smile looking at me, her white pearly teeth showing.