Funny Cleaning Stories Novels & Stories

He raised his hands on the air in surrender. “I think they are enough.” He showed me his palm and walked away. I returned the shears and put a pack of detergent and a bottle of bleach inside the empty bucket and brought them back to the kitchen. I filled the bucket with water before pouring some detergent and bleach in. I mixed them and started cleaning the awful mess Xyrus and Suzy made. I closed the faucet and the next thing I heard were moans and groans from the toilet. I shivered and brought out my phone and played some rock music.

Then, she pointed at me and said, "But Dad, she's so dirty. Look, she's stained this beautiful carpet. The smell of blood is so disgusting. She's ruined my good mood!" Dad tensed up immediately because his daughter was upset. "Don't be mad, sweetheart. If she’s dirty, I’ll make her clean!" He made a phone call. Soon, a huge transparent crystal bathtub was carried to the center of the banquet hall. Then, the servants brought in bucket after bucket of a highly corrosive cleaning agent. They poured all of it into the bathtub without hesitation. Finally, a pet grooming team walked in with hard metal brushes and high-pressure water guns.

"Women with big ass would be the end of you, Kravinski." They both laughed shoving each other for a while. I barely noticed them since I was too busy fighting with the stains on the floor. Cleaning the dungeons was the most terrible assignment I had ever done in my life. Whatever it was that had gotten stuck on the floor might just be pieces of a human brain. "Watch this."

I start scrubbing at the carpet with ferocity. “Just like you,” he counters, and then he lets out a low, guttural groan that makes my stomach do a weird little flip despite the fact that I am currently elbow-deep in a cleaning disaster. I finished the job and stood up. I didn’t look back as I hauled the bag of trash toward the door because if I see one more inch of his bare butt, I am going to lose my mind. I’ll need a very strong bleach with a high concentration of acid to clean out the live p**n image from my head.

I stayed with him and kept stroking his back. Breathing heavily, I closed the door behind me and leaned against the wall of the hallway. Thank goodness that was the last. If I had to climb these twelve floors again, my legs would probably have just fallen off. I had run up and down so many times to dispose of all the garbage bags that I couldn't count them anymore. Although, actually I knew the number exactly. Thirteen. Down thirteen times and then up again thirteen times. But the apartment was now free of any garbage. And the hours of airing finally seemed to bring something. Of course the smell of cigarettes, ashes and cold smoke was still in the air, and the smells of food from countless

Gritting my teeth in ire, I dropped my cutleries inside my half-eaten plate of degenerate food. “The truth is bitter but it needs to be told anyway,” I heard Linta scoff as I stormed out. Thereafter, I trekked to the bathroom to clean it, as that was my afternoon duty. Thankfully, it was empty and free of hooligans snarling into my ears and mocking me to my face. Donning a nose mask and a pair of rubber gloves, I started working; I first cleaned the walls of the bathroom stalls before unclogging the blocked toilets then washing the toilet bowls and the wash hand basins.

I answer without hesitation, “it was a game.” My mom doesn’t believe me, but she stays quiet. Then she looks at him. “And you?” Mateo takes a second before answering. “Same.” We look at each other. And in that moment everything comes back, the fight, the anger, the impact, last night, all of it packed into a single look neither of us is willing to break. “What a coincidence,” Mark laughs. If only he knew. “I’m going to the bathroom,” I say suddenly, standing up before I lose what little patience I have left.

I was just… cleaning. One afternoon, hauling a sloshing bucket of waste to the woods, I passed Kroll — the big rogue — and two others sharing a waterskin. He stuck out a foot. I tripped. The bucket flew, its foul contents spraying my legs and the ground. The rogues roared with laughter. "Clumsy little guard," Kroll chuckled. "Better clean that up too. Wouldn’t want the master to see his camp soiled." My face burned hotter than any fever. I knelt in the mess, scooping filth back into the bucket with my bare hands, vision blurring.

Anyhow, back in the Pack house, the situation in the bathrooms was worse than expected, it took me two hours to scrub the stains on the walls and floor. “Ugh, finally it’s done.” I straightened my back and sighed in relief, the sight of clean bathrooms was the reward of my hard work. After gathering my cleaning supplies, I was about to go out when a rude warrior pushed me away and entered to use the urinal. Irked by his behavior, I balanced myself and gathered my tools. Meanwhile, he decided to test my patience. “Thump!” He thrashed a wine bottle to the ground, red wine splattered on the floor and walls. Three other strong men also joined him to laugh at me. I took a deep breath and gathered

I got up on the floor and went to change into something appropriate for cleaning the house. We got to work, picking up the debris and throwing them in the trash. We moved the furniture back to their places and vacuumed the floor. We wiped the dust and stains from the walls and windows. We worked as a team, helping each other and cracking jokes along the way as if we never drifted apart. As we cleaned, I heard giggles and squeals from the other room. Our twins, Mason and Madison, were playing in their room. The triplets napped in their room.