Funny Deer Blind Dad Jokes

On my 18th birthday, my stepmother, Sheila Coleman, teams up with her secret lover, William Lynch, to kill me in cold blood. After that, she carves my femur into a bone sculpture and presents it to my dad as a gift. Dad loves the sculpture to no end. Thanks to Sheila slandering me in the past, he doesn't give a damn about me at all, even after finding out that I've gone missing. In fact, he even declares that he wants to cut off all ties with me. "Don't bring that brat up in front of me from now on! I hope that she dies out there!" But when he finds out that I'm really dead, he goes crazy from remorse.

When Avery Quinn gets fed up with her loveless marriage and the humiliation she was constantly fed with, she leaves with the divorce papers, vowing to herself not to get mixed up with any arrogant billionaire again. But she might have spoken too soon, because she finds herself drawn to another emotionally distant, and cold billionaire - and his 7 year old daughter.

"Fuck, you're so tight for me," Ryder growled against my ear, his hips slamming forward in a deep, punishing thrust that made my back arch off the bed. I gasped, nails digging into his shoulders as he filled me completely, stretching me. "Harder... please..." He pinned my wrists above my head with one large hand, the other gripping my hip hard enough to bruise. "You want it rough, baby? Then beg for it properly." My body trembled under him, slick and desperate. The words spilled out before I could stop them. "Please... Daddy... fuck me harder." A dark, satisfied rumble vibrated through his chest. He leaned down, teeth grazing my neck, voice low and filthy. "Good girl. Come all over Daddy's cock. Show me how much you need this.” *** On my wedding day, I caught my fiancé Dylan Voss and my step-sister Helene fucking each other in a room. Heartbroken and humiliated, I walked away from the altar. That's when Ryder Hawthorne—Dylan's powerful, ruthless stepfather—found me. He carried me to his penthouse, and in a haze of rage and need, I seduced him. We fucked like it was war: rough, and desperate. When Dylan walked in and saw me riding his stepdad—he felt betrayed and stormed out. I felt satisfied and vindicated. It was supposed to be one night. We were never supposed to see each other again. Until I desperately took a job at Hawthorne Prosperity Group to save my dying grandmother…and discovered Ryder was my new boss. One rough, forbidden encounter in his office, and he offered me to be his personal slut, in return he'd pay Gran's bills. I had no choice and accepted. Payback became obsession. My ex wants me back, but Ryder refuses to let go. Now I’m caught between revenge and surrender.

Audrey has a crush on her best friend single father, Mr. Knight from a young age. She didn’t dare to tell him because Knight had always taken her as his daughter because of the huge age gap. At her 18th birthday, she finally had the courage to confess to him but shit hits the fan as she finds him kissing her sister. Feeling betrayed she heads off to college and tries moving on until he comes finding her…and this time he isn't willing to back down.

My boss gives me 200 thousand dollars in cash so I can pay his workers their salaries. I leave the house to buy some envelopes to put the money in, but that's when my father lends the money to our neighbor so they can buy a house. I question him about it, but he says I know nothing about forging relationships. Even my mother and brother blame me for not keeping my things properly—they say I'm dumb for leaving money lying around when I know my father likes to lend money to others. Later, my boss fires me but doesn't call the cops. All he wants is for me to repay him. To do so, my father finds me a high-paying job. It's only when I get there that I realize I'm supposed to be an old man's housekeeper. On my first day there, he violates me. I want to call the cops, but my father tells me to be forgiving of him. After that, the old man's daughter thinks I seduced her father and has me beaten to death. When I open my eyes again, I'm back to the day my father lent money to our neighbor.

Upang mabawasan ang kanyang responsibilidad, sinet-up si Hestia Vale ng kanyang mapag-malupit na tiyahin sa pamangkin ng kaibigan nito. Nagtungo ang dalaga sa nasabing tagpuan at doon, natagpuan niya ang lalaking inakala niyang ka-blind date niya. Sa pagnanais na makawala sa mapait na pakikitungo ng tiyahin, walang alinlangang pumayag si Hestia ng bigla siyang alukin ng kasal ng binatang nagngangalang Ian Escalera. Sa mundong mahirap magtiwala, ano kaya ang magiging papel ni Ian Escalera kay Hestia: mabuting asawa o demonyong sisira sa buhay niya?

My father's adopted daughter was only locked in the cramped storage closet for around fifteen minutes, yet he punished me by tying me up and throwing me inside. He even sealed off the ventilation with towels. "As Wendy's older sister, if you can't take care of her, then you should also experience how scared she was," he declared coldly. He knew I was claustrophobic, but my desperate pleas for mercy, my terror, were met with nothing but heartless reprimands. "Let this be a lesson on how to be a good sister." As the last sliver of light disappeared, swallowed by the oppressive darkness, I struggled helplessly. A week passed before my father finally remembered my existence and decided it was time to end my punishment. "Let's hope this week served as a good lesson for you, Jennifer. If this happens again, you will no longer be allowed in this house." He would never know that I had already taken my last breath in that suffocating room. My body had begun to rot in the darkness.

My girlfriend, Camille Chaney, gets pregnant right before the college entrance exam starts. In my previous life, I gave up on my college entrance exam and married Camille. We had a son together. Life might be nitty-gritty, but it was still rather fulfilling for me. When I was on my deathbed, Camille and her first love, Howard Salter, dropped by to visit me. "Thank you for raising our son for more than 20 years. Now, you may die in peace." Camille pulled the plug on my life support at that moment. She watched as I slowly suffocated to death. When I open my eyes again, I find out that I've returned to the timeframe when the college entrance exam is about to take place. This time, I slam the door shut in Camille's face when I hear her asking me to take responsibility for her pregnancy. "Go find someone else to play house with you. I'm not interested in becoming a father at all."

Book 4 Nagkakilalang magkaaway sina Griffin at YLena ngunit ang masama pa roon ay naging Boss niya ito sa bago niyang trabaho. Paano haharapin ni YLena ang lalaking lagi niyang nakasagutan? Isa siyang palaban at hindi basta nagpapaapi ngunit bakit pagdating kay Griffin ay laging tiklop ang kanyang tuhod? Hahayaan ba niyang pasukin nito ang malambot niyang puso o baka naman siya mismo ang mang akit rito lalo na at mukhang hulog na hulog pa ito sa dati nitong Girlfriend?

Chloe Greyson’s life was shattered when she learnt she wasn’t the true heiress of the Greyson family, but rather a girl swapped at birth. Cast out, blinded by a brutal attack, and later saved by Dan Sawyer, Chloe believed she found salvation in marriage. But Dan only wanted her for her blood—a perfect match to keep his comatose lover, Sofia, alive. Now, after three years of enduring this loveless marriage, Chloe has had enough. Discovering she is pregnant, she seeks a divorce, only for Dan to shockingly agree—because Sofia has finally woken up. As luck would have it, Chloe's real family—the affluent and powerful Westbrook family—found her and revealed that she was their long-lost daughter and the key to a hidden legacy. Dan, realizing his mistakes, tries to get back to Chloe despite Sofia’s effort to keep him to herself. But things got complicated when Chloe accidentally met Leo King, a mysterious Mafia boss who happens to be her ex's uncle, in a less-than-ideal situation. Gradually, sparks began to fly between them and soon, she realized he was her ex's uncle. Meanwhile, Chloe’s newfound family harbours secrets that could either aid her in her quest for justice or destroy her all over again. Torn between avenging her past and loving again, Chloe must choose between silence and secrets or opening her heart to a new love amidst a web of deceit and betrayal, all while navigating her newfound family's secrets and Dan's attempts to win her back.