Funny Fat Jokes

After being sent back in time to relive my life, I stopped standing up for the popular girl who got caught stealing. When she returned to college for classes, I dropped out. When she came to my house looking for me, I moved. I did everything I could to cut off all contact with her. Before I died in my last life, I knew she married me only for my family’s money, yet I still handed her my heart like a fool. The jewelry I gave her was “tacky.” Trying to get close to her was “annoying.” I held on to a cold, empty marriage, thinking that as long as I waited, she would eventually turn back to me. However, for more than twenty years, all I got was her indifference. I didn’t even dare touch the doorknob to her room. Then came the fire, and I risked my life to push her out the window to safety. Right before I died, I saw my wife, completely unharmed, run straight into the arms of our college valedictorian. Crying, she said she was finally free from the marriage that had made her miserable for decades. If life could start over, she said, she hoped to walk hand in hand with the person she truly loved. In that moment, my heart went dead. I let the fire swallow whatever remained of my life. When I opened my eyes again, I was back at the bar where the popular girl was working part-time and stealing money from a customer. This time, I chose to call the police.

Skylar's world shattered in a single, drunken night. Not once, but twice, her destined mate rejected her – or so she thought. Blinded by the sting of betrayal, she made a reckless choice that left her pregnant and ostracized. Branded a harlot, she fled, vowing to build a new life. Years later, Skylar returns and she is no longer the scared girl but an elegant and powerful woman, with a secret tucked away in the form of adorable twins. But fate, it seems, has a twisted sense of humor when she meets the man who ignites a familiar spark in her.  He's the spitting image of her past. Except, there's a shocking truth – they're twins.

It's been one month, one month simula nung mapansin ko na there's something off about me, something's not normal at nag simula lahat after THAT night. "Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!" "One shot! One shot! Woahhhhhh" "Truth or Dare?" "Dare!" "See that handsome guy on the bar counter wearing a black polo shirt? Get his number" "EZ! So easy!" Nag simula sa dare na dapat hihingin ko lang ang number and ended waking up next morning in a bed with a total stranger, BOTH NAKED.

He's my mate's father and I had a one-night stand with him. I shouldn't have but I was just so bitter because my mate was sleeping with my half-sister. That night marked the beginning of his insane obsession. And then I realized he wasn't the level-headed and calm father-in-law I always thought he was. Behind that mask was an obsessive, manipulative, and controlling man who had sworn never to let me go. He'd do anything to keep me, including ruining my life. Now I'm stuck in this clandestine erotic relationship we have. And each day, I find myself getting more addicted to him. What do I do to break free from this erotic but toxic bond we share?

Warning: This story contains a lot of explicit violence, foul language, and gore scenes, which are strictly not for readers under 18. She swore to kill him. He vowed to make her beg for him. Sylvara Swiftfang only had one mission: avenge her parents’ murder by destroying Darius Ashfang, the ruthless Alpha mafia lord who tore her family apart. But when she runs from a forced marriage, fate delivers her straight into his hands. He doesn’t kill her. He doesn’t cage her. Instead, he offers a game: Seven months. She swears she’ll end his life. He swears she’ll never live without him. As passion tangles with vengeance, Sylvara must choose, betray her heart or surrender to the one man she was born to hate. But in a world of blood oaths, pack wars, and deadly secrets, love could be the most dangerous gamble of all.

Marissa is a beautiful woman from a privileged family, but has no mate. Everything changes at the annual festival when her gaze collides with Justin, the devastatingly handsome and ruthless son of the Lycan King. The pull of the mate bond hits her like fire, but Justin doesn’t acknowledge her as his mate. Instead, he offers something far crueler: he wants her to be his toy, his distraction, while he prepares to wed someone else. Forced to work for him under the shadow of their bond, Marissa wrestles with her pride and desire. She won’t beg for love, but how can she resist the man who sets her soul ablaze—even if he’s the one who might destroy her?

On my wedding anniversary, I came home to rose petals and champagne. Instead of romance, I found my husband in bed with my sister—wearing the couture gown I designed for her runway debut. He called my designs "boring" and revealed the fashion house I built was actually funded by her secret investor money. The child we adopted? Her biological son with my husband, who she abandoned to chase Paris Fashion Week. I walked out in nothing but the lingerie prototype from my latest collection. In a snowstorm. Straight into an exclusive fashion week after-party where I met him: a mysterious man who mistook me for a model and offered me a drink that tasted like freedom. One night later, I owed him $100,000. Three months later, I discovered I was pregnant. And when I showed up to my job interview at the biggest fashion conglomerate in the industry, ready to prove my designs could save their failing luxury brand, the CEO sitting across from me was the same man from that night. He remembers me. He wants his money back. And he's offering me $5 million if I can take his brand from fashion week laughingstock to top five in three major shows. I took the bet. I just didn't tell him about the baby. Or that my ex-husband's textile company supplies the fabric for every major fashion house—including his.

Devon Bradley has always wanted a Soulmate, one who would sweep her right off her feet, the one who would become her one and only soulmate. She finally gets what she'd always wanted. But, alas, her soulmate is beyond what she'd dreamed of. Her fate is entwined with the fate of her prince charming who is the crown prince of the fae kingdom. When she falls in love with the dashing non human, she realizes that she needs to fight for her happiness, alongside the love of her life. When the storm arrives in form of foes and challenges, how well can they weather the storm? Will they end up with a happily ever after ending? Or will their love story become woefully tragic?

The happiness of finding out that my mate was actually my first love was soon clouded by gloom because she was the sister of the alpha of our worst enemy. Is our love going to conquer all?

Lilith, an unloved young woman, seeks acceptance and happiness in a pack torn by politics. When she discovers her fated mate, Alpha Joe is already involved with another girl who shares her scent, she finds comfort and safety with Alpha Prince Leo, who helped her feel better. They become deeply connected, and she becomes an important part of his life. But when her destined partner, Alpha Joe, comes back as the moon goddess intended, wanting to be with her, Alpha Prince Leo doesn't want to let her go. Lilith gets caught up in a reverse harem situation. She must navigate the revival of a lost love, love triangle, family secrets, second chance love, and unexpected reunions to find her true destiny. Will Lilith find redemption and a second chance at love, or is she destined to endure a lifetime of pain and heartbreak?