Funny Fat Jokes

Today I had my first kiss. It wasn’t planned. It was also with a complete stranger. As I walked through the crowded halls of Crestwood High, my heart light with excitement, I felt it before I saw it—a familiar presence, sharp and wrong. My boyfriend, Mark, was nearby and he wasn’t alone. “You’re a bad boy,” the cheerleader laughed softly. “Only for you,” Mark replied before his lips closed over hers. At that moment, I felt sick to my stomach. “Oh, Mark. Stop it. You know we can’t be seen together. What if your girlfriend finds us?” “She’s in class. She’s never late. You don’t need to worry.” My heart was heavy in my chest, but also a wave of fury and resentment crossed me. “Bethany?” Mark breathed, staring at me in shock “What are you—” Before he could get the entire question out, I turned to the gentleman beside me, placing my hands on his shoulders and pulling him toward me. He went easily, though his eyes showed nothing but confusion. I closed my eyes tightly so I wouldn’t have to see his expression any longer. Then, our lips touched. Later, I walked into my class but found,It was him… The man I kissed only moments ago in the hallway. The man I had given my first kiss to, was my professor.

On my eighteenth birthday, my brother Seth brought back my twin sister. She had been snatched from me by kidnappers as a child. She claimed she had nothing, not a single thing to call her own. Seth gave her everything: my room, my dresses, and my awards. He even gave her my childhood fiancé, forcing him to break off our engagement and marry her in a wedding that would take the world by storm. I tried to resist, but Seth scolded me for being childish. "She's your blood sister, yet you complain about every little thing. If you can't learn to be kind, I can't call you my sister anymore." My sister, Serena, fell into the swimming pool later that day and nearly drowned. When she woke up, she cried to our brother, claiming I had pushed her. My brother, Seth, was furious. He sent me away to a remote mountain village. "If you can't learn to be kind, you'll spend the rest of your life here, atoning for your sins. "You can come back only when you kneel before Serena and apologize." Five years passed. Serena and my fiancé held a high-profile engagement ceremony. The entire city celebrated their grand love, certain they would have a happily ever after together. Then, Seth finally remembered me. "Sylvie, five years have passed. Have you learned kindness yet?" I nodded calmly with a blank expression on my face. "Seth, I will kneel before her and apologize." He smiled, praising me for finally being sensible. However, he did not know that I had received a critical medical notice. I had only five days left to live.

.......... "Have you ever touched yourself Lily?" Leonardo asked not breaking the eye contact with the beauty in front of him "I.....I did, a few times" Lily answered as her heart raced "Really? Show me" Leonardo said "What?" "Show me how you touch yourself, I'd love to see you touching yourself Lily, show me" Leonardo said as he placed his hand and cupped Lily's red cheeks He moved closer and whispered into her ear "Touch yourself, while I watch you do it" ................ Lily met him at the dark alley behind the clubhouse. They immediately hooked up. It was supposed to be a one night stand but he did everything sensual to her except really having sex with her. Just when Lily thought he was going to pull the sheets and penetrate her, she blacked out. Lily woke up the next morning, alone in the hotel suite, her strange one night stand guy had drugged her last night and disappeared, she never thought she'll see him again but in the coming days, their paths crossed again. This time, he was more than just the handsome stranger she almost had a one night stand with. 18+ Slow burning romance Drama Lust

Carrie Stewart is determined. Determined, not only to complete her mission, something she has been training for her entire life but also to ensure her mission's total success. So when this headstrong, snarky, sarcastic werewolf realises her Sister's new fiance is her mate, she is determined to resist the bond at absolutely all costs. she will not yield to the connection. Her family comes first, even if he is the best thing for her. She's stubborn like that.Lots of twists, turns, fairy queens, witches, a lot of almost dying, sexual tension, love triangles and one headstrong, impulsive, sarcastic wolf named Carrie

“Marek!” Straightening, I glared at her. “I think you forgot. I apparently need to remind you.” “Forgot what?” She was caught between the pleasure and the pain. “I am a monster. I’m bathed in blood. Molded by it. I’ve been in this filth for much longer than you have been alive, búsinka.” Her eyes widened. “Marek…” “You don’t get to run. You don’t get to think you are too damaged. That there is too much blood on your hands or that you are too soulless. I was there first. So don’t you dare shy away from me, zhena…” ~ ~ ~ Marek Baranov dedicated himself to his family and the Baranov Bratva. With three older brothers, no one expected him to marry for convenience or to tie the families together. So, he turned his focus to his work, both above ground and under. When Rosaria Bernardi, daughter of their rival Don Carlo Bernardo, crashes into his world with a death wish, and other option comes to light. He, the only single male in the Baranov family, could make the enemy kneel by marrying their very own princess. There is more than just years of bad blood between them, though. Despite their differences, the two find common ground in being raised by the underworld. A world forcing them to choose cruelty and blood over everything else. Marriage signed, the two come together and find an unlikely companionship that blossoms into something far more than either of them expected as the threats mount. Together, they learn to lean on each other. Even when things get messy, bullets fly, and the blood on their hands feels too much to bear.

Returning from the military, Blake Elon has decided to hide from his enemies as a lonely delivery courier. On a faithful rainy night, Blake makes a life-altering delivery. He is forced into a three-year contract marriage to the Weston family, a prestigious family in California’s entertainment business. Marrying the granddaughter, who longs to be with another man, she and her mother belittle and abuses Blake. Little do they know Blake, the trash son-in-law, holds onto the most extraordinary power when he receives his family’s inheritance and becomes the heir of the most powerful family in the world. Blake is met with a life of cultivation with his family’s inheritance. Gaining his sister-in-law and third female cousin’s support as his living Spirit Vessels, Blake is on the road to immortality. How will he handle his enemies, betrayal, and the most incredible powers as he hopes to find his true love among all the women around him?

As a wolf shifter growing up in one of the strongest packs on the continent, I should be living my best life. But after my mother ran away and got herself knocked up by some demon, I became the town's pariah. They call my species Slades, half-demon, half-wolf shifter. We're hunted and killed the moment we first shift. Unfortunately for me, my first shift is coming sooner than I'd like and if I don't form some kind of plan, I'm going to shift in front of the whole god-damned pack and then there'll be no running. So, I do what any sane young, desperate woman would do in my situation. I summon a God.

Fate Fighters ‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍Alexandria stood watching them both, 'interesting, vampire guy wants to stay in Hollandis when he can't even control his thirst for blood' Alex thought. Alexandria is a wolf kid, her parents suspected she might have been deprived of powers, which is a curse to the werewolf clan one that could attract even a death sentence to the victim. Her parents decide to send her off to the human world, where she has to survive, with her unusual beauty, she goes through a lot. She later joins the National security and intelligence Academy in Hollandis_the human land where she learns to fight according to her parent's wishes. There she comes in contact with Regal the vampire prince, who had to escape his home after his father_the king, sudden death, he runs to Ben a human who is his father's friend and Alexandria's guardian. Alexandria is then stuck in the position of taking responsibility for him after knowing he is a vampire and could be dangerous to humans or refusing and sending him back to fang city, where he would either die or survive and come back for her. But they have one thing in common, to survive, they must both fight their unacceptable fate! "Regal Raymond, what do you want me to do, what if you harm someone, I can't always be there, who would take responsibility?" Ben asked, "she!" Regal said pointing suddenly at Alex. Alex, eyes widened in surprise "what?" Ben asked. "She would take responsibility for me" Regal repeated. "What! Me?" Alexandria exclaimed while eyeing him. "Why would I take responsibility for you? Who do you think you are Mister 'I know am handsome' huh? Alex mimicked. "Ben, she is incredibly strong, I just had a short encounter with her a while ago..."

"Once you touch me, you're mine!" Yan ang mariin kong sinabi sa fiancé ng stepsister ko. Ako si Grace Cutanda, 25 years old — isang babaeng walang pakialam sa mga taong nasasaktan ko. Mas pinili kong maging matigas at walang puso dahil 'yan ang nagligtas sa akin mula sa mga mapanlinlang na tao. Nagbago ang lahat nang magpakasal ang aking dad sa isang oportunistang babae. Sa isang iglap, ang tahimik naming buhay ay napuno ng kasinungalingan at pagkukunwari. Kasama niya ang anak niyang tila perpektong babae sa mata ng lahat — si Bianca. Pero alam ko ang totoo. Sa likod ng kanyang mala-anghel na mukha ay isang babaeng sanay mang-agaw at manira. Hindi siya nagdalawang-isip na ipakita kung paano siya paborito ng lahat, habang ako ang laging nasa tabi, tila isang anino. At ngayon, ang fiancé niyang si Andrew — isang successful na businessman na may mapanuksong titig at nakakapanghinang presensya — ay parang isang gantimpala na ipinagyayabang niya. Pero sa tuwing nagtatama ang mga mata namin ni Andrew, para bang may lihim na pagnanasa at pagtataksil na bumabalot sa pagitan namin. Alam kong mali. Pero bakit tila ako ang mas nanaisin niyang piliin? At sa huling pagkakataon, binalaan ko siya. "Once you touch me, you're mine." Ngunit handa ba akong akuin ang mga magiging konsekwensya ng mga salitang binitiwan ko?

Lily's world shatters when her mother marries Alpha Kane, because his son Derek is the same boy who tried to kill her wolf companion three years ago. Now Derek is back, stronger and colder than ever, and he claims Lily owes him a life-debt for a secret she doesn't even remember. Living under the same roof, they must hide their past from their parents while ancient pack laws force them together. As enemies become reluctant allies, Lily discovers the truth about that terrible day, and realizes the real monster might not be the boy she's been taught to hate.