Funny Fat Jokes Novels & Stories

After being sent back in time to relive my life, I stopped standing up for the popular girl who got caught stealing. When she returned to college for classes, I dropped out. When she came to my house looking for me, I moved. I did everything I could to cut off all contact with her. Before I died in my last life, I knew she married me only for my family’s money, yet I still handed her my heart like a fool. The jewelry I gave her was “tacky.” Trying to get close to her was “annoying.” I held on to a cold, empty marriage, thinking that as long as I waited, she would eventually turn back to me. However, for more than twenty years, all I got was her indifference. I didn’t even dare touch the doorknob to her room. Then came the fire, and I risked my life to push her out the window to safety. Right before I died, I saw my wife, completely unharmed, run straight into the arms of our college valedictorian. Crying, she said she was finally free from the marriage that had made her miserable for decades. If life could start over, she said, she hoped to walk hand in hand with the person she truly loved. In that moment, my heart went dead. I let the fire swallow whatever remained of my life. When I opened my eyes again, I was back at the bar where the popular girl was working part-time and stealing money from a customer. This time, I chose to call the police.

After the war between humans and shifters, an alliance was formed to keep the peace. The price? Daughters of the human nobility had to choose a shifter as their mate. The first half-blood born from this union would become the new ruler, ensuring that peace would last. As the eldest daughter of the Morrison family, I was the first to be chosen. But right after I chose the wolf Alpha, Calvin, I saw a vision on our engagement day. Because I failed to conceive after six months, Calvin locked me in a cage, determined to use me as a vessel for his pure bloodline. After I finally gave birth to the prophesied hybrid, my sister, Trina, appeared, claiming she wanted to take care of me. But the truth was, she hated me for being able to bear the perfect bloodline, while her own mate, that beautiful Elven Chief, was making her life a living hell. Driven by jealousy, she seduced Calvin, and together, they had me brutally murdered. After my death, the world saw Trina as the new hope, as the one destined to bear the future ruler. Only one person fought for me: Caleb, the leader of the bear clan. He was the only one who demanded justice. A sharp pain lanced through my chest, and I snapped out of the vision. Before me, Trina begged me to give Calvin to her, revealing he had already marked her. I nodded. To everyone's shock, I walked past them all, my eyes fixed on the one person no one ever seemed to notice: Caleb, sitting in the corner. "Caleb Thorne, will you accept my proposal?"

I looked up to see two identical pairs of hazel eyes staring intently at me. “Twins!” Cara , my wolf, squealed in my head. Before I could even let that fact sink in, one of them lunged at me, picking me up, swinging me around and pinning me to the wall with his body. “MINE!” he growled in my ear as he buried his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply. “I think what you meant to say was “ours” right brother?” Katalina (Kat) Connor wanted nothing to do with the Moon Goddess’ most sacred gift, the mate bond. In her experience, nothing good ever came from a mate bond and she was determined never to accept a bond of her own. Instead, she chose to focus on her career as midwife for her pack, and avoid love altogether. Reegan and Ryan Stone, twin Alphas of the renowned Glass Moon pack, had yet to find their fated mate. At 24, Ryan was ready to search the world for her while Reegan was reluctant to give up his playboy ways and settle down. Knowing they would most likely share a mate, their difference of opinion was driving a wedge between them. What will happen when Kat and the twins find their futures entwined? And when a mysterious truth about Kat’s wolf is revealed, will she come to accept what she is and fulfill her destiny or will she run from a fate she never wanted? *Warning: This book is an erotic romance featuring non-incestual polyamory between multiple mates. Book 1 of the Celtic Wolf Series-Completed Book 2 A Tangled Fate: Bound By Her Betas-Completed Book 3- Coming Soon!

He's my mate's father and I had a one-night stand with him. I shouldn't have but I was just so bitter because my mate was sleeping with my half-sister. That night marked the beginning of his insane obsession. And then I realized he wasn't the level-headed and calm father-in-law I always thought he was. Behind that mask was an obsessive, manipulative, and controlling man who had sworn never to let me go. He'd do anything to keep me, including ruining my life. Now I'm stuck in this clandestine erotic relationship we have. And each day, I find myself getting more addicted to him. What do I do to break free from this erotic but toxic bond we share?

Skylar's world shattered in a single, drunken night. Not once, but twice, her destined mate rejected her – or so she thought. Blinded by the sting of betrayal, she made a reckless choice that left her pregnant and ostracized. Branded a harlot, she fled, vowing to build a new life. Years later, Skylar returns and she is no longer the scared girl but an elegant and powerful woman, with a secret tucked away in the form of adorable twins. But fate, it seems, has a twisted sense of humor when she meets the man who ignites a familiar spark in her.  He's the spitting image of her past. Except, there's a shocking truth – they're twins.

Lyria Voss was born into a legacy of betrayal. Her parents were falsely accused of treason and executed, leaving her to be sold into slavery to the ruthless Ironclaw Pack. She learned to survive by hardening her heart, vowing never to trust an Alpha—but fate bound her to Kael Raventhorn, a ruthless alpha king, feared and respected in equal measure. When kael discovers Lyria is his mate, he refuses to accept the bond, unwilling to be shackled to an Omega with a past that could threaten his reign. But destiny is relentless. As long-buried secrets resurface and an ancient bloodline emerges from the shadows, Lyria and Kael find themselves at the heart of a war that could reshape the werewolf world. With enemies lurking in the shadows, betrayals cutting deeper than fangs, and a love that defies destiny, Kael and Lyria must decide whether to fight for each other or become the very weapons that destroy everything. In a world where power is everything, can love rewrite fate?

“I have cancer,” I said—and my husband didn’t even flinch. Dorothy Rain is dying. Not fast, not loudly, but painfully and slowly. And to make things worse? The man she’s legally bound to—billionaire heir Joel Hernandez—isn't just emotionally absent... he’s infertile. Joel’s inheritance depends on Dorothy giving birth to his heir. With time running out and hatred growing between them, Joel brings in a third option: his estranged, broke, and dangerously attractive cousin, Rico. The deal is simple: Rico gets a second chance. Joel gets his heir. Dorothy gets treated like a breeding contract. But nothing is ever simple in a house built on lies. As Dorothy fights for her life and autonomy, she finds herself in between two enemies—one who ruined her and one who might ruin her all over again. Secrets grow. Lust sparks. Love becomes a war. And when hearts break, who will be left holding the child?

I'm Alpha Felix Axeford's most loyal warrior as well as the mate he has stubbornly chosen, even if it means defying the Moon Goddess' will. Five years ago, he had personally cast out Portia Smith, his fated mate. He even went as far as to break one of her legs. At that time, he had told me, "I don't trust the Moon Goddess at all, Selena. You're the only one I trust." But five years later, when Felix saw Portia, who's limping with one bad leg, at the border, he breaks down in tears on the spot. He whisks Portia back to the pack and arranges for her to stay in the master suite. As Felix looks at me, he says, "You're a warrior, Selena, which means you're very strong. But Portia only has me to rely on." In order to make amends to Portia, Felix starts stripping me of everything I have. I end up losing my title, my pride, as well as the unborn pup in my womb. When Portia and I get poisoned at the same time, I can only watch as Felix chooses to let Portia take the only antidote. It's then I finally understand that Felix, the Alpha who once had zero trust in fate, still yields to it in the end. "This time, I'm the one who no longer wants to be with you, Felix."

"Who are you? And, Why have you kidnapped me? Please! Let me go! It's my wedding day!" She begged with tears in her eyes, but she was injected with something and lost her consciousness once again. Life seemed to be perfect for Nia, a beautiful, kind-hearted and god-fearing girl. She lived happily with her parents and siblings in the country-side. She owned a small cafe and had a good-looking boy-friend who loved her and treated her like a Princess. She had a perfect life and was happy in her small world, until she met a stranger on her expedition to the jungle of Orizona. Her life begin to change after that and she was kidnapped on her wedding day. What twist her fate has in store for her? What would happen when she would come across a secret from her past?

Blaire I always dreamed of freedom, of the day I would escape the rule of my alpha father, and make my family proud to have a daughter. Bravery isn't my strong suit, but when I was faced with a choice; secretly sign up for Packmatch, a bid for a bride auction, or marry a man my father's age? Well, the choice was easy, until I became the bride of my father's biggest rival, and faced with the challenge of co- leading and birthing pups for him. Frederick Dating wasn't my scene, but the desire and expectations as alpha to fill my home with pups wasn't an urge to be ignored. I wasn't too picky, all I wanted was a woman to accept me and my pack , without questions. A virgin? My greatest rivals' daughter? The most beautiful woman I've ever seen?