Funny First Text Novels & Stories

The emergency center I worked in went haywire as the typhoon closed in on our town. That night, my husband’s first love made seven emergency calls in a row to me. However, she did not say anything when I picked up. By the eighth call, I thought it was a prank caller, so I gave them a piece of my mind. Then, I heard my husband’s angry voice. “Melinda! This is the eighth time Sadie's called you for help! Haven’t you made her suffer enough?!” After that fiasco, he decided to avenge Sadie by taping my mouth, tying my wrists and legs up, and throwing me into our basement for three whole days, despite it being flooded with seawater, I begged for mercy, but it was to no avail. “You knew Sadie couldn’t talk because she hurt her throat, yet you still hung up on her! I'm going to make sure you feel the same hopelessness she felt!" Those three days left me with a collection of severe infections. I ended up having to remove my kidney. Even after all that, that man still had the gall to kneel by my bed and beg me to give him another chance.

My husband, Mark Thompson, and I went hiking. After eating some wild berries I picked, he was poisoned and died. When I got home, a woman named Sarah Miller and her son, Tommy Miller, showed up at my door. It turned out Mark had given them our house and car. On top of that, he owed them a huge amount of money. I ended up giving them all the savings I had. To care for my sick mother-in-law, Judith Thompson, I worked three jobs. I was surviving on basic meals like bread and butter. After years of exhausting work, I collapsed in the hospital. Judith told the doctors to stop my treatment. Just as I was about to die, Mark walked into the ward with Sarah and Tommy in his arms. He tossed five dollars at me. “Thanks for taking care of my mom all these years.” That was when I realized Mark had faked his death just to be with Sarah and their love child. When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day we went hiking together.

I was born into the Valerie family, with the noble blood that could give a vampire a powerful hybrid heir. I was meant to marry Ethan, heir to the Prince. But the night before the engagement, his younger brother Adrian knelt in the rain in front of me. “Elena, I’d give up everything.” “I love you. You’re all I want.” So I broke the engagement, let my family disown me, and married him without a backward glance. Then I got pregnant. He started keeping me at arm’s length, finding reasons not to touch me, not even willing to stay in the same room as me. Until the night I heard him tell his men: “Once Elena has the baby, we’ll hand it over to Ethan and Sophia.” “Sophia’s health is fragile. I can’t bear to put her through a pregnancy.” That was when I finally understood. Adrian had never loved me. He’d married me only to free up the place beside Ethan for my cousin Sophia. Even the child I’d struggled so hard to carry had already been promised away to the woman he truly loved. I rested a hand on my belly and called my father. “Dad, I was wrong about him.” Adrian thought I’d stay trapped in his web of lies forever. He had no idea. Two months from now, I would vanish from his world for good.

What are the odds that you are dared to send a random text to a stranger? And, what are the odds that the stranger happens to be someone you would never have imagined in your wildest fantasies?Well, the odds are in Chloe's favor. A text conversation which starts as a dare takes a one eighty degree turn when the person behind the screen turns out to be the cockiest, most arrogant, annoying asshat. Despite all this; the flirting, the heart to heart conversations and the late night musings are something they become accustomed to and something which gradually opens locked doors...but, that's not all. To top it all off, the guy just might happen to be in the same school and have a reputation for a overly skeptical identity..."What are you hiding?""An awesome body, beneath these layers of clothing ;)"But, who knows what Noah is really hiding and what are the consequences of this secret?Cover by my girl @messylilac :)❤️

She’s texting him her heart. But she’s got the wrong number… When Isabel “El” Watson applied for a sales job with her company, she had no idea a jelly donut would explode on her blouse, or that her grumpy boss would practically laugh her out of the interview. Accountants could be salespeople, she was sure of it, even if that jerkface didn’t think so. So when a lady at the local wine festival offers her a sales job on the spot at a new boutique winery, El jumps at the chance. She also jumps at the chance to text with the guy who danced with her at the festival. Life was finally looking up. Boston’s friend, Chad, never should have given Boston’s number to the girl at the wine festival as a joke, but the damage was done. When El sends Boston a text later that night, believing he is Chad, he’s too nice to hurt her feelings by telling her the truth. But there are a few other truths Boston might have thought about: Truth #1: He’s her boss Truth #2: She just accepted a job at his mother’s new winery Truth #3: He’s always had a crush on her Even though Boston is no longer El’s grumpy boss, they still work together at his mom’s winery. And while sparks are flying as they get to know each other for real, El’s kind of sweet on the guy who always seems to know just what to say via text too. Obviously, things will come to a head. Will Boston come clean about the flirty texts being from him? Or will El figure out on her own that she’s been Texting With the Enemy?

Lena Hayes knows exactly who she likes, and it’s not Adrian Hale. But when a daring photo meant for her long-time crush accidentally lands in the hands of his reckless, infuriating younger brother, her carefully controlled life is thrown into chaos. Adrian isn’t just mischievous; he’s magnetic, unpredictable, and entirely too aware of the effect he has on Lena. He proposes a deal to: she’ll play his fake girlfriend to keep an ex-girlfriend off his back, and in return, he’ll help her get noticed by the boy she’s been crushing on for five years. What could go wrong? Almost everything. From stolen moments in hallways to charged locker-room encounters, their playful scheme quickly spirals into something neither of them can ignore. Lena wants control. Adrian wants more than a deal. And suddenly, the wrong brother might be exactly the right one if she’s willing to risk her heart, her plan, and her five-year-long crush on someone else.

Right when she thought she was going to hit the ground something hard caught her, a pair of arms and when she looked up she was staring into a set of deep gray eyes..... This is my first attempt at writing so I'm sure there are plenty of mistakes, any and all comments/reviews are welcome. Thank you and I hope you enjoy 😄

"Why did you do this? Answer me!" Josh an easygoing guy who was immune to love because of how his father was being treated by his mother, decided not to fall for any woman. But, fate had its own cruel way of making him find love. "I don't care Josh, no matter what, i'm not like all women. I will still wait for you because i love you." Sabrina couldn't stop crying. Sabrina who fell in love with Josh after a crazy night in her car, meeting him for the first time couldn't stop loving him no matter how much red lights he showed about women. Will she succeed in breaking fully breaking down all the walls, he had already built, because of his past? Josh gritted his teeth in anger. "Why?...." Find out how Josh will have his revenge on the woman who took his life from him. His father. A story about betrayal, and a quest to win your lover's heart.

I'd just put the condom on when someone started pounding on the door. My wife, Jocelyn Gill, shoved me aside, panic all over her face. I shot a glare at the door. Her adopted brother, Calvin Tyler, stood there, flushed, staring at her. The bulge in his pants wasn't subtle. "Jocelyn, please help me. I feel awful. I think I'm having an episode!" Seeing him like that, nothing like before, my temper snapped. "Then go get treated. Why are you barging into your sister's room? You got no shame? You can't even get married because of this, so now you're wrecking mine?" Jocelyn rushed over and slapped me. "Finley, how can you say that? Calvin's still a kid. How could he think something that disgusting? Before his parents died, they asked me to take care of him. I'm a psychiatrist—if I don't treat him, how do I face them? You're acting nothing like a brother-in-law. Apologize to Calvin right now, or we're getting divorced!" In two years of marriage, I'd lost count of how many times she'd pulled that card over Calvin. Back then, I'd risked my life just to win her. She thought I'd never leave. She was wrong. This time, I was done loving her.

Kiara Tennyson. It has always been her dream to go to the US. After her parent's death, an opportunity presents itself when she gets a chance to go there as an exchange student. She is funny, crazy, very loving, and has read too many books to know that she will find new friends, get into a fight on the first day of school with the queen bee and later teach her a lesson, and maybe find love. Reed Scott. Your typical cliche bad boy. His first love broke his heart causing him to change from loving to becoming cold. What do you think will happen when a bubbly and crazy person comes barging into his life and tries to change his cold demeanour? Why don't you read and find out? Join Kiara and be mistaken for a dog sitter, get into fights, prank the queen bee, fall on your butt in front of your new best friend, prank the whole school, take the bad boy shopping and most importantly find love abroad.