Funny Girlfriend Joke

"You look good," I said to Chloe at humakbang ako palapit sa kaniya. Kunot ang noo niya na nakatingin lang sa akin. "Kahit balot na balot ka, my body is still reacting." I grabbed her hand na natatakpan ng kumot at pinakapa ko sa kaniya ang nabuhay ko na naman na pagkalalaki. I saw how her eyes grew bigger again and I winked at her. "Nice meeting you, Chloe." ****** Trace a.k.a The Orgy King. The Panty Ripper. His sworn brother called him funny names but he knows what he is. A spawn by Satan. Ipinanganak para pasakitin ang ulo ng amang labis niyang kinamumuhian. He fuck around like a rabbit. Party here and there. But his fave sport will always involve dark and bad. A walking sin. Trace will soon realize that karma really is a bitch. Organization. Friendship. Brotherhood. Trace Dimagiba might be the most hateful man in Foedus Organization but he'll soon realize that even the devil himself deserves redemption. In the form of the feisty and beautiful woman who sauntered into his life– Chloe. His light and his end game. ****** This is a story that is close to real mafia life. If you are a sucker for romance and a simple plot, better not read this!!!

Lola's life came crumbling the moment she met her mate, Alpha Torian, smooching and kissing another lady in his birthday party. That day, he bluntly rejected her as his mate and claimed his new girlfriend as his real mate. That same day, in her broken state, she saved a Vampire who was hunted by her parent and their crew - the Pack hunters. Never did she knew that one act was going to change her life forever. At the moment when all love she got was lost, the moment when the world and people she trusted turned their back on her, that very moment when death came dragging her feet with no one to help or hear her scream. He appeared right beside her, ready to break the rules for her sake, at first it was to repay her kindness, but something about her sparkled up light in his dark heart, those strong walls around his heart was melting down. He is the Vampire Lord, she is a Werewolf, two enemies that should stay far away from each other.

"Yes! I want to be your girlfriend, Kairus Dhan Alvarez. Sinasagot na kita," sigaw ng kaibigan ko. Ouch! Nanigas ako sa kinatayuan ko ng pagpasok ko pa lang sa university kung saan ako nag-aaral, ng marinig ko ang sigaw ng isang pamilyar na boses, o should I say, ng aking best friend. Ang ganda naman ng bungad. Hindi ako makagalaw sa kinatayuan ko. Para akong natulala. Para akong binagsakan ng langit at lupa. "WOAH, CONGRATS NEW COUPLE." Nanlalabo ang paningin ko habang pinagmamasdan ang kaibigan ko at ang lalaking mahal ko. Kitang kita ko kung gaano kasaya si Kairus nang sagutin siya ni Amara. Nagyayakapan silang dalawa, at worst, they kissed each other in front of me. Mas lalong lumakas ang sigawan ng mga tao habang ako naman ay parang nabingi. Hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdaman ko. Basta alam ko lang, unti-unti nang nawawasak ang puso ko. Yumuko ako. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang physical na sakit sa puso ko. "I LOVE YOU, AMARA... SO MUCH!" D@MN! Tuluyan nang nawasak ang puso ko nang marinig ko ang katagang iyon mula sa bibig ng mahal ko na para sa kaibigan ko. Kinagat ko ang aking ibabang labi upang pigilan ang luha na gustong kumawala sa aking mga mata. Dapat handa na ako sa ganito, alam kong darating ang araw na ito, pero p*tangina, bakit parang sobrang sakit? Bakit parang hindi ko kaya? "BESH...!" Kaagad kong pinunasan ang isang butil na luha na tuluyan itong kumawala sa mata ko. Huminga ako ng malalim at saka inangat ang paningin sa kaibigan kong patakbong palapit sa akin na may malaking ngiti. Ngumiti din ako, pero pilit lang. Sinubukan kong maging masaya para hindi siya makahalata. "KAMI NA... I ALREADY SAID YES TO HIM," masaya niyang sabi bago ako niyakap.

When Elizabeth Walter gets fired from work, getting home to meet her boyfriend molded to the thighs of another lady, screaming her brains out against the wall, all hell, let's loose. Her once upon a fairytale life is shattered. Having loads of loans to pay back, Elizabeth's once 'alright' life becomes a disaster until she met him. The one whose name strikes fear into the heart of others Zane Creed. A workaholic with no social life, he needs a date for a business dinner. She needs the money for the next day. Just when Elizabeth's love life gets trampled on, A tall manly blue-eyed demon comes crashing in, making Elizabeth cream her thongs with just a look. Elizabeth might just be getting more than she bargained for when she becomes 'The Escort.'

“She's rich, he's a bad boy, a burglar. She's submissive, he's tractable. She's caged, he's wild. She yearns for freedom, his life is adventurous. As the tale says "Opposite attracts!" But then there's this rich man who's overly obsessed with the innocent heiress. A sweet, romantic, funny story filled with lots of action and love but with dark side, abuse and Dark Romance.” 18+ Hot Steamy scenes!

"… Are you planning on making me someone else?" I asked, my bottom lip trembling slightly as I began to realize what I had gotten myself into. "Too many questions." He stared straight at me, and then his lips spread in a sly smirk, "You are right, anyways. You are no longer who you used to be. What is your name?" "Persephone Walters." I told him with a hidden plea in my voice. Please don't make me disappear… "From now on, that person is dead. You will now be my girlfriend, and wife-to-be, the elegant Kassandra Aaron." ______________________ She’s a mechanic. He’s one of the richest CEOs in the state. She is also his girlfriend's doppelgänger, and he only needs her as his substitute mistress until his real girlfriend returns, to save his father's business. Falling for each other seems impossible, mostly because Aiden sees another woman through her. However, when his real girlfriend returns, the contract meets its end and they find out that things are not on the original track. How does CEO—Isaac Bates remind himself that the mechanic—Persephone Walters is way out of his league? How do they defeat the numerous obstacles that stand against their love?

"This is all wrong, Emma; you and I do not fit in the same world. Fate has played a cruel joke on you by tying you to me. There is no place for an angel in my hell," Luca Alessandro. "The universe did not prepare me for this, but my heart is stronger than you think Luca; we will rule this hell together, side by side as equals", Emma Wyatt. ____________ Emma Wyatt was a simple Omega wolf from a low family in her pack. She had four brothers, a sick mother and a father with a gambling problem. Her life wasn't pleasant, especially when everyone was above her. Her dream world was her escape. In that world, she met a man, perfect in every way. She spent time with him giving her joy and sanity the real world couldn't afford her. She kept a journal of these dreams as it was her escape from reality. Soon her reality becomes hell, and she finds the man in her dreams in this hell. Little did she know he ruled it.

Penelope Samiento ang isang babaeng hindi man gano'n ka talino at kagandahan ngunit siya naman ay puno ng saya, nangangarap ng isang lalaking kinahuhumalingan niya si Darrel Lim, isang vocalista ng banda sa school nila. Suplado pero gwapo at higit sa lahat matalino. Paano kaya kung pagbuklodin sila ng tadhana at itinakdang ikasal para sa isang kasunduan? Magiging masaya kaya sila sa kabila ng pagiging magka-iba?

What turned out to be a joke from him was forcing me to sign the divorce papers. I refused to sign it until I knew why, he became cold, aloof me a lot and paid no attention to me anymore. 8 months ago, I signed a contract marriage with one of the richest billionaires in town. Not until I saw him shamelessly romancing with his ex-girlfriend, they were happy together, so I concluded inside of me, I signed the divorce papers and flee into the dark night alongside with a miracle. Pregnancy! 3 years later, I returned to the city as a successful businesswoman alongside my son I kept away from the world. My mission is to revenge.World turns in my favor when his company became bankrupt and needed shareholders. My miracle has come, I'll anonymously reap him off everything he ever cherished. What happens when our parts crossed, and he founds out I had a child with him. "Come back home WIFEY, you left with my heart." I heard his screeching faint voice begged me. BUT, will I ever forgive him for cheating on me?

Book I of the 'His' series. What does Alexandria do when the landlord decides to increase the rent? She looks for a roommate!! Mason King just moved to town and he's looking for an apartment. He comes across Alexandria's request for a roommate. He thought she was just a quiet,shy,nerdy girl. But boy was he wrong!