Funny Quotes Humor

Kasalukuyang nasa bar si Heaven at nagpapakalasing. Kaka-break lang nila ng nobyo dahil nahuli niya ito at ang bestfriend niyang nakapatong sa isa’t isa sa mismong pamamahay niya! Nasaktan siya, hindi dahil naagawan siya ng boyfriend, kundi nasaktan ang pride niya dahil isang pipitsuging lalaki lang ang nakagawa noon sa kanya. Kung tutuusin, hindi niya kailangan ng lalaki sa buhay. Shes an independent woman, mabubuhay siya nang walang lalaki dahil siya si Heaven Ferrer! "Hi..." Narinig niyang may nagsalita sa likod niya... isang lalaki. Umupo ito sa tabi niya. "Sorry na lumapit ako, ha. I know na gusto mong mapag-isa dahil tinapalan mo ng pera ang lahat ng nanggugulo sa'yo dito. Hahaha..." Napangisi siya sa humor ng lalaki. "Bakit, gusto mo rin ng pera?" biro niya. Pinagmasdan nya ito. Kahit na lasing na siya nababnaag pa din ang kagwapuhan ng lalaking nagpakilalang si Theo. Actually, napansin na din niya ito kanina pagpasok niya. Ang lakas kasi ng sex appeal nito. Lihim siyang napangiti sa naiisip. Bakit hindi siya magwalwal sa gabing iyon? Gagamitin niya si Theo para sa kanyang plano. Gusto niyang makatikim ng lalaki sa gabing iyon. At kapag maisagawa na niya iyon, magpo-focus na siya sa buhay nya. Magpapawasak siya sa gabing iyon para hindi naman siya matawag na desperate virgin. At pagkatapos noon, hindi na siya magbo-boyfriend. She can live without a boyfriend anyway! "Theo, can you bring me to your place?" diretsahang sabi niya. Napaubo si Theo sa sinabi niya. "Huh?... Why?" "You know what I mean..." malanding wika niya. Alam niyang type siya ni Theo kaya imposibleng aayaw ito sa gusto niya. "A-are you sure?" "Ayaw mo ata. Sige, I will find someone else..." wika niya saka akmang tatayo, pero pinigilan siya nito. "Wait!..." Hinawakan siya nito sa braso. "Let's go..."

Missy moves to a small town in Northern California after walking in on her boyfriend in bed with someone else. The picturesque cottage she bought outright isn’t as picturesque as she was promised. She is forced to hire the only contractor in town to make it liveable, even though she can’t stand the man and his rude and crude remarks. Adrian Brewer is a single father, fighting for his parental rights for his daughter, and doesn’t need another woman to bring more drama into his life….but there is just something about Missy that makes him tease her like a little boy with a crush and has him wishing for more. When Adrian makes repairs to her new home, can he also help repair her heart? Can she repair his in return? When their past comes back to ruin what they started building together, will the foundation of their budding love be able to withstand the storm? Will Missy let it all burn down? If it does, can Adrian build it back up?

Fate can be a funny thing. One minute, you are the beloved daughter of a powerful alpha, and the next, you're nothing more than a tool used to join forces with another strong pack. And if you don't go along with what is expected of you, the one who is using you for personal gain will make your life a living hell and destroy anything that is precious to you.Because of this, Denali Ozera finds herself married to the cold and ruthless Rosco Torres, alpha of the Crystal Fang pack and enemy not only to her, but her entire family. But by some weird twist of fate, Rosco isn't what others say he is, and he is even willing to help Denali get back everything that was meant to be hers.Together, Denali and Rosco devise a plan to destroy Denali's father and her stepmother and sister. All Rosco asks for in return is Denali's mind, body, and soul.

Luca - I saw her sitting in the booth at a cafe I was a regular at and knew she was different from other humans. There was something about her that spoke to me and my inner soul. We both wanted her from that moment on. I am the vampire king, and she will be my queen. She is stunningly beautiful with those emerald eyes and hair that reminds me of the sunrise. Something was nagging at my mind telling me she reminded me of someone. I felt someone nudge me, and I knew it was time for me to go. I knew that I would be here more because there was no way I was leaving her alone and unguarded from this moment on. Sienna - I was sitting at my usual table in the cafe when I felt the weight of someone's eyes on me. I looked up and into the most amazing pair of golden eyes I had ever seen. I can only describe them as fire since they have flecks of red within them. He was staring at me, and I found it incredibly difficult to look away. I shook my head and looked away. He might have been the gorgeous man I have ever seen, but I have more important things to worry about. I needed to finish college and secure my place in the world. I didn’t know then that he would become one of the most important people in my life, and he would help me discover what and who I am.

Cesari Islan Sandoval is a drop dead gorgeous multi billionaire playboy who can get any lady he wants at the snap of his fingers but doesn't do relationships until he meets Elyon Devane a single mom who is in need of a job. He feels drawn to her which is something that has never happened to him before so without thinking he gives her the job as his personal assistant thinking he could seduce her into sleeping with him but she turns out to be a hard nut to crack. He falls in love with her five years old daughter and though he doesn't consider himself a daddy material,he finds himself wishing he is her daughter's father. Funny enough he finds out that he is indeed her daughter's father which causes him to have a rethink much to the chagrin of his lover Antoinette Montalvo.

This story is about an innocent girl named Elena, who dared to run away from her fate… Elena Swan, a destined Luna of Dark Sapphire pack decided to live her life as a normal human by hiding her wolf from the world. She questioned her life choices when she met her kind and gentle mate only in his wolf form only for him to disappear for years ahead. Her peaceful existence became a mess when to avoid a possible danger, her pack decided to merge with the enemy pack, only for her to find, Luke the arrogant and jerk future alpha of Moonshine pack to be her mate? How can she possibly have two mates? Who is the real one? She found herself in hot water, when a merciless and murderous vampire, Evandor Adino, became obsessed with her. The deadly vampire gave her a choice to save her mate and her family by being with him willingly or can lose everyone and still be with him forcefully. Will she sacrifice herself to save her love or will she sacrifice her pack to save her freedom? Or will she fight for her love and her pack and become a true Luna? Get along on the journey to know more about the nerve wrecking adventure of the ‘Two mates of the Late Blooming Luna?’

“Even if the last droplets fall, my love for you will never fall out” ~Carlos Drake Santillan Campus' Series number 1

She thought arranged marriages are just for Chinese. Pero nagkamali siya nang siya mismo ang ipinagkasundo ng sariling pamilya sa nag-iisang apong lalaki ng kaibigan ng Lolo niya. Ngunit hindi naging madali ang lahat dahil ang lalaking pakakasalan niya ay isang mayabang, arogante at masama ang ugali na walang ibang ginawa kundi inisin siya kapag nagtatagpo ang landas nila at ginagawa nito ang lahat ng paraan para lang mapaatras siya sa kasunduan. Will their hate for each other eventually turn into love or will the hate gets worst that may cause war between the two families?

An arrange marriage kind of love story. Both with big differences from each other. One live with peace and doesn't like chaos but the other one finds comfort in chaos. Anthony Vasquez a mafia boss who disguise himself as a businessman and a doctor. Flirty but professional, depends on what professionalism you want. Aside from his looks, his humor is also what girls around him like about him. Doctor sa umaga, mafia boss sa gabi, depende pa kung may pasyente kasi aside sa kumikitil siya ng buhay, nanggagamot din siya ng buhay. His priorities is with both with a little bit of partying and having sex with plenty of women who will offer themselves to him. His life was fun regardless of what his other personality do for a living, he's still having fun not until he was arranged marriage by his parents to a woman names Emily Suarez. A doctor of psychology who's a complete opposite of him. Their love story is not the romantic one but rather the fun and dangerous kind.

Olivia Parker, after she was forced on by an unknown man at the hospital where her sick father was just proclaimed dead, finds herself pregnant a month later. Left with no other choice than to keep the pregnancy, she drops out of school at the age of 18. Six years later.. Olivia's son grew up to be the exact replica of her new boss.. Damien Sterling! "Who is his father?!" His voice echoed multiple times into her ears. "I don't have one, talk to my mummy with respect!"