Funny Quotes Humor

"We will never get along, Lexi,” Finn Mars said to Lexi Pierce. “I’m a dog person, and you're a cat person.” She nodded. “I know… You love to party, and I don't.” "I'm not really much into reading. I like hiking and swimming,” Finn said, lowering his head and brushing his lips to hers. “But if I'm a dog, I want to imprint on you and follow you around.” Lexi sighed, reached for his mouth, and nibbled playfully on his bottom lip. "I hate to admit it, but if I'm a cat, I want you to become my favorite person.” Like their choice of pets, they argued a lot, fighting like cats and dogs, but then he fell in love with her bossy secretary. Despite being different, if they learn to tolerate each other, they can be friends, but he was hopeful they would be more than that.

Nang malaman ni Jillian na buntis siya, dalawang buwan pagkatapos magkaruon ng aksidenteng pakikipagtalik sa isang estranghero, na akala niya ay si Brent na kanyang boyfriend, yun pala ay ibang lalaki. Nang hanapin niya ang lalaking may kagagawan ng kanyang pagbubuntis, tinanggihan siya nito dahil may hinihintay itong ibang babae. Na stress siya na nagdulot ng pagdurugo during her pregnancy kaya kinailangan siyang dalhin sa ospital. Paggising niya, natagpuan niya ang sarili sa hospital na kasama ang pinakamayamang babae sa mundo na si Madam Lishou. Sa halip na magalit, ininsist ni Madam Lishou ang isang kasal sa pagitan ni Jillian at ng kanyang apo na si Mckenzie. Nalaman kasi nito sa isang source na ang apo nito ang nakabuntis sa kanya. Tumanggi ang lalaki na pakasalan siya, nagalit si Madam Lishou at binantaan ang lalaki na itatakwil kung hindi ito magpapakasal sa kanya. Napilitang pumayag ang lalaki sa kondisyon na civil lamang sila ikakasal. Habang nagkakalapit ang loib nilang mag asawa, biglang nagparamdam ang dalawang tao mula sa kanilang nakaraan, si Tamara na nagnanais na muling mabawi si Mckenzie at si Brent na handa siyang tanggapin ulit sa kabila ng kalagayan niya. Paano ito makakaapekto sa kanilang pagsasama? Sila ba'y paglalayuin ng pagkakataon, o magtatagumpay sila sa harap ng mga pagsubok, na nagpapalakas ng kanilang pagsasama sa paglipas ng panahon?

Her hair is a lustrous blond. Her eyes are flashing blue-violet. She is sweet and childlike. They call her Angelina. Though it doesn't feel right. How can she tell them that underneath her innocent personality she feels something more? Something wild. Something dangerous. Something she had been before. But she doesn't understand. ____ He knows she has secrets. Underneath her timid personality. She is something more. She is someone he will be willing to explore. Something he is willing to expose. He calls her Angel. His Angelina.

Ethan Lewis has been in the bright lights for as long as he can remember. He’s just turned the cusp of celebrating his twenty-fourth birthday, and yet he feels more like eighty. Living the life of a celebrity isn’t all it is chalked up to be, and dealing with the unruly number of women who are more interested in his billions than who he is as a person is getting old. He has resigned himself to giving up on love and focusing on the only thing that truly gives back – his career. Riley Phillips has always dreamed of being on a big stage with the warmth of the spotlight baring down on her, but she just couldn’t seem to catch the right agent’s attention. After giving a quick commencement speech as Valedictorian of her graduating class at Billmore High, she’s offered something she can’t refuse... The chance to work in Hollywood. It’s not all it’s chalked up to be, but she works hard and finally gets her big break four years down the line. There is a new movie that her agent wants her to audition for, and her co-star? The dreamy Ethan Lewis. She scores the part, but soon regrets it due to his callous, overbearing persona. He’s nothing like the public touts, and she for one isn’t impressed. Funny enough, he is - immensely.

Isang simpleng probinsyana lamang si Anna Marie Castillo, namumuhay sa isang simpleng lugar, simpleng probinsiya. Pero kahit ganoon, masaya siya sa buhay na mayroon siya kasama ang kaniyang pamilya. Mahirap lang sila at trabahador lang ng pamilya Bautista ang kanyang ama, samantalang ang kanyang ina naman ay nag-e-extra lamang. Ang tahimik niyang buhay sa probinsiya ay magugulo sa pagdating ng anak ng mga Bautista na si Kevyn, isang mayabang at antipatikong lalaki. Ano kaya ang kahihinatnan nila kung sa unang pagtatagpo pa lang nila ay hindi na naging maganda iyon? Ano kayang gagawin niya kapag nalaman niyang siya ang magbabantay sa binata habang nasa probinsya ito? Babalik pa kaya ang katahimikan niya sa probinsiya o lalo lang iyong gugulo?

Jayson and his fraternal twin Alexi met Taelin when they when they were 18. Their father was marrying her mother so they would soon become step siblings. They knew they wanted her from the moment they saw her. Things were going well for the first few months they lived together, but a few months after school started Taelin distanced herself from them. No matter what they did she avoided them unless it was family related and even then she was standoffish. Before they could figure out what happened they were off to college. Now Taelin is attending the same college, but Jayson and Alexi have no idea. Taelin told her mother that she told them but she didn’t. She has every intention of keeping them from finding out, but when she runs into a couple of mutual friends that changes. Everything comes to a head during a family dinner. The truth also comes out as to why she distanced herself from them. Can Jayson and Alexi make her see what they said isn’t what they felt or meant? What happens when a girl that has been obsessed with the boys start trouble? Can these three work out their issues and can Jayson and Alexi convince Taelin that their relationship is no one elses business but theirs? What will Taelin do when she finds out that she has been Secretly Wanted By Her Mafia Stepbrothers?

Reggie is a concubus doing her part in the fight against the false elites. While doing recon for the resistance, she was attacked by ex-trackers. With little memory, aside from her mission, the unique concubus is working for more than just the safety of her people. She is working to find out who she is and where she belongs. Once she returns to the resistance, she finds out her true purpose, to complete a powerful spell that will help in the coming battle with the false elites... and die. In this final installment of the Vasilia Series, all questions will be answered and all vengeance will be brought about. Before reading this, make sure to catch up to the story so far with The Demon Queen's Desire and The Demon Queen's Duty.

A year after my twin sister's death, My mum, Alice Hamilton thought it would be a good idea for me to marry my sister's husband for the purpose of business. Knowing fully well that I was far from what he wanted and he was still deeply in love with his wife. “I never-” he interrupted me. “I know you put this in your mother's head but know one thing, you will never be Olivia and you will never take her space. I will never care for you, love you, or see you as my wife” True, I would never be like my sister. She was more beautiful, confident, and fun while I was just a boring girl with a lonely life.

Demetrio Laureti is the most sought-after millionaire in town. An arrogant, domineering and extremely handsome man, he is used to taking all the women he wants into his bed. When his secretary is fired, he immediately sends for a new one. Confident that they have hired the most beautiful of them all, he decides to make a bet with his best friend and conquer Evangelina Anderson, a woman of grotesque appearance, which is not at all to the taste of the Italian, but, however, manages to drive all his senses crazy. Will Demetrio be able to conquer his secretary? Will Eva be able to forgive Demetrio after this bet?

Book one of The Moon & Sun Series. Fate is a very funny thing. Sometimes it can bring something amazing into your life, a grand new adventure that will test and challenge you. That will help you grow and learn where you belong in this world. Other times, well... she's just a gigantic witch with a sick sense of humour. I never asked for any of this to happen, to be beat down, hurt and struggle and fight everyday to grow and get better. This was never what I imagined my life would be like. But I'm not one to shy away from a challenge. And I sure as hell won't let a man define me. I make my own path, I will do what needs to be done and if I have to do it on my own, well then so be it.I'll be stronger for it, and there's nothing a man fears more than a strong woman.