Funny Sarcastic Quotes Novels & Stories

My name is Ella Grace Johnson. I'm just an ordinary girl, living an ordinary life of an artist, until cancer forces me into an extraordinary situation. Desperate for medical treatment, I find myself in a fake marriage with Adrian Charles Montgomery, a billionaire CEO with a hidden struggle - sex addiction. It's supposed to be a simple arrangement, a means to an end. But life has a funny way of complicating things. Adrian is nothing like I expected. Behind his CEO persona, he's caring, considerate, and surprisingly understanding. But his addiction brings a new set of challenges to our relationship. As we go through this deception, I find myself drawn to him. But our secret is exposed, and I'm sent away, leaving my heart with Adrian. Now, I'm not just fighting for my life, but also for a love that was never supposed to happen. Can we turn our fake marriage into a real one? Or will our love story end before it even begins?

"I wouldn't be with a monster like you even if the world was ending and you were the last of the male specie!" That is what she said to him but life took a funny turn from there. Luka Vladimir is your typical Alpha, leading the most ruthless and largest pack ever known. He is 35 and still hasn't found his mate. He was getting restless in finding his luna but when he finally finds her, he wishes he hadn't! Venus Gracia is the exact opposite of anything a Luna should be known as. No, she isn't weak, unwanted and the trash of the town. She is haughty, conceited, and a full-blown feminist human! Born out of old money her only ambiance was to seize the reins of her father's company and she would stop at nothing in this misogynist world to prove her worth. Together they could ruin empires or could lead them to novel peaks but one thing was for sure, together they were explosive!

Night Stalker Series 3: Forrest Wood is an enigmatic tattooed bartender who lives in two worlds to protect someone he loves. He never questions his self-control over temptations while searching for answers for half his life. Until something has changed in a woman, he’s been keeping tabs for a while. When he’s finally ready to deal with his feelings, he knows nothing can be easy in his life—it only complicates his plans and his secrets that Megan might not accept who truly he is. A flirty, blunt, and funny, Megan Simons built her walls over relationships until her life crumbles down in front of her. Forrest comes to the rescue. She finds him intriguing and beyond attractive. When she starts bringing her walls down, she finds herself in a situation where Forrest Wood is more than what meets the eye.

Emilia Burke is a young and advanced college student with an eye for trouble. Ever since her last year in high school, when the only man she ever loved disappeared without a single glance, she has been an expert at evading heartbreak. And hasn't formed a meaningful connection since. Sure, she's young, funny, pretty, and too smart, but she has kept her love interests at a distance and kept everything simple. Fun. No feelings attached. But now, with as much ease as when he disappeared, Leon Maverick has returned to her life as a successful and sexy business tycoon. He's determined to win back the girl whom once had given her all for him, but there's a problem when she can't even stand the idea of him. If only she would give, but there's just something... Something about Leon. And maybe, he'll break through her barriers one last time.

“And that is the reason why I said those words. I like your fear, not because it is a normal thing. I love it because deep down you are a monster like me, schiava. You fear me on a primal level, you can feel my power and dominance, and you know you aren’t the strongest here. So you don’t fear Renzo Valentino the human, you fear the monster that lurks inside.” My life changed the night of my birthday. What started as a funny dare ended with blood and having a price on my head. I thought Renzo was the hero who saved me that night, but he was the devil who owned me forever. I, Misha Yakov, princess of the Russian mafia became Renzo Valentino's slave. He broke me, tortured me, and molded me into something new, something I hated and craved at the same time. I, Misha Yakov became my master's pet.

By day, Carlotta spins stories. By night, she serves drinks. Her life was simple. Until her good-for-nothing brother offered her as collateral to pay off a massive gambling debt to a ruthless underground casino. Now she's the reluctant fiancée of a powerful mafioso rumored to have a cruel streak... and a bedroom secret that's the talk of the criminal underworld: erectile dysfunction. Carlotta would've found it funny if it weren't her life on the line. To make things worse, fate throws in another complication: her dangerously attractive new driver-slash-bodyguard. With abs worthy of a thirst trap and a face that screams "Asgardian demigod". He's the kind of temptation a woman in her situation absolutely does not need. Just when she thinks it couldn't get more absurd, her cold, mysterious fiancé summons her to his penthouse suite with one chilling demand: He wants a taste of what's been promised. Her.

Tara’s mother and sister are both Lunar Wolves, blessed by the Moon Goddess with unique abilities. Tara seems to be an ordinary werewolf, but as she comes of age and welcomes her charismatic wolf, Trinity, her quiet life in Blue Moon is turned upside down. When she finds her mate, she’s catapulted into the spotlight, into a fairy tale with dark undercurrents she never saw coming. The threat of war looms, as her sister Talia prepares to become one of the first female Alphas, a controversial break with tradition that faces formidable resistance. Tara uncovers long buried secrets, a cryptic prophecy that unexpectedly awakens something dormant, and finds herself at the forefront as winds of change sweep through Lycan and Werewolf society. This is a story full of twists, turns, and laugh out loud funny moments. If you’re ready for a fast paced and thought provoking romantic comedy with plenty of drama and action, this novel is a fun must-read.

One night, as I was making my way to the bathroom around 3 a.m., I saw my dormmate, Yvonne, squatting in front of our door. She was rearranging all our shoes so that their tips were pointed inward. I thought it was funny, so I rearranged them to have their tips pointed outward. The next day, I found that all of them had been positioned inward again. This kept happening for a week, and I continued to scramble things up, hiding the shoes, even, or tying the shoelaces together. But they always ended up being repositioned neatly inward. I started observing my dormmate and found her mumbling to the shoes while squatting at the door. I ranted about it online, only to have my first reply send chills down my spine. [Do you also get the weird feeling that something paranormal is happening around you? You have to move out before it’s too late!]

Being the rivals, Vdius and Aurora hated each other, but the Moon Goddess wrote a different story for them as they were MATED!! One is the Queen of the Rogues, and the other is LYCAN KING of the Alphas. Coming from two different backgrounds, will Aurora and Vdius ever be able to overcome all the obstacles that come their way?? Or will they get lost in the path of REVENGE?? Will the love between them ever be able to overpower the hatred that they have for each other?! Aurora Fright, a 23 years old Princess of her father and her Rogue clan, Moon Howlers. In the blink of eyes, Aurora had to wear the crown of the Queen of Rogues just after her father, Alberto's mysterious death. Vdius Arees, 31 years old, the greatest LYCAN KING, is breathing the air just to take revenge for his father who was murdered brutally. But what will happen when he will have a steamy One-night stand with the daughter of his greatest enemy, the killer of his father? A must-read story which is full of Betrayal, torture, revenge, love triangle and mature scenes ~~~~ Vdius sneered at Aurora and said coldly, "The Moon Goddess must have gone insane when she mated me with you!" Aurora rolled her eyes at him and said in a sarcastic tone, "Then do the favour on me, Alpha Vdius. REJECT ME!" Instantly a devilish smirk formed upon Vdius's lips as he uttered, "NO WAY!" ........

The worst part wasn’t catching them. It was hearing what her fiancé said about her while moaning her father’s name. How easy she was to lie to. How desperate she was to be loved. How she’d probably forgive them if they asked. Claire spent three years building a future with Tyler Bennett. She never imagined her father was part of it too. But minutes after she caught them together, three Lycans stormed into the house—and the man who had spent years humiliating her dropped to his knees in terror. That was the moment Claire realized Connor had been lying to her too. Her sarcastic, overprotective best friend wasn’t just the pack doctor. He was the Lycan King. And the two ruthless men beside him? One could silence an entire room with a single glance. The other made even Alphas nervous enough to lower their eyes. Claire should’ve stayed away from all three of them. Instead, her wolf recognized them instantly. SOULMATES. Now the fiancé who betrayed her is forced to watch the deadliest Lycans alive become dangerously obsessed with the woman he discarded. But as secrets surrounding Claire’s identity begin to surface, one terrifying question remains: Is she their salvation—or the beginning of their ruin?