Funny Sonnets Novels & Stories

Then, they said together, “We’re going to perform stand-up comedy today!” Marcus said, “I bet all of you must have seen these words carved on my forehead. Why, you may ask? Because I am always very arrogant and these words are to remind everyone that they are all pathetic jerks.” Cain continued, “They say, ‘like father, like son’, but in my case, it’s ‘like son, like father’. Since my son has the words ‘pathetic jerk’ carved on his forehead, I can’t let him indulge in the glory himself, so I’m joining the bandwagon and have these words ‘father of the pathetic jerk’ carved on my forehead too.”

I replied and laughed softly at my dirty jokes. "Did he do it? Who is the better fucker, the father or the son?" Luciano asked, I acted like I'm thinking about his question. "Of course you are the better and the best fucker. Zuck still needs a little practice, you should train him to be beast in bed." I replied and could not stop myself from laughing. I heard Luciano laugh too because of the antics I was telling him. Until now, it still surprised me and makes me happy in a strange way every time I make Luciano laugh or I see him laughing at some stupid jokes because I often see him laughing.

someone yelled. "I won’t shut up until someone answers!" Lucas shouted back, clearly enjoying the attention. "We don’t know and we don’t care, so shut the hell up, Lucas!" another voice barked. "Wrong! It’s called Lemon-aid! Get it? Like the drink?" The groan this time was even louder. "Dad jokes are never, ever funny," Elodie muttered, shaking her head.

“Sonny has such a sweet little mouth.” “Is that the only thing sweet about me, Grandaunt Audrey?” Audrey laughed even more happily at that. “Your whole person is very sweet, Sonny.” Serenity laughed too. “Sonny talks like an old man sometimes, but he can be very innocent and cute sometimes too.”

Sonnet blurted out. Johnson laughed and winked at Sonnet. “What, do you feel sorry for my money?” Sonnet rolled her eyes. “That’s your money. Why should I feel sorry for it? I’m just used to living frugally and can’t stand seeing you wasting money.”

The absurdity of it all… the manipulation, the ultimatum, the sheer audacity, it was too much. My father barked, his eyes narrowing to dangerous slits, "And what's so funny, Graham? This is hardly the time for hysterics. Your life is falling apart and your mother is trying to hand you a lifeline." I wheezed, wiping a stray tear from the corner of my eye that had absolutely nothing to do with joy. My chest ached from the effort of breathing through the laughter. "What's funny? The funny thing here is that you actually think you can use my own child as a bargaining chip. That is truly, spectacularly funny. I mean, the sheer audacity, Mother. It's almost impressive."

You’ve fucked up when they get so fat you have to fuck them from behind. My father had joked that you know you’ve fucked up when they only bleed from getting rough. Then Ronan had joked, “well it’s only a fuck-up after the kids born, until then you get uninterrupted pussy!” The men had brayed and slapped tables in agreement. Scowling at my food, toying with the golden jewellery on my wrists I was an outsider to everyone at every level. I often wondered why my father made me attend such gatherings.

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”

This is the first time I’ve heard her laughing. Harry isn’t even that funny. Just when I think I’ve seen it all, Harry clears his throat dramatically. “O CPU so fast, so bold, You heat my lap, yet never cold. Your fan doth scream, your ports do blink, My love for RAM? Stronger than you think. You crashed, I cried, I fixed your drive, With every update, we both survive.” What the fuck is this? Harry’s out here doing sonnets now? But that’s not what hits me in the gut. Not the poem. Not even the fact that she’s laughing.

I rub my eyes with the back of my hand. Unbelievable! The prank has backfired, drenching me completely. However, of the room echoes with laughter—my sons are doubled over, and I can't help but join in. Amidst our shared mirth, it's clear that their companionship outweighs any inconvenience. These two troublemakers may seem worthless, but to me, they're priceless, worth more than any treasure this land can offer.