Girlfriends Quotes Funny

I was married to Chad Caldwell for ten years. I met all his girlfriends during our marriage. Whenever he got bored and wanted to move on, I was his best excuse. "If you marry me, you'll end up like her. Too familiar and no spark left." On our anniversary, I wiped tears for his latest ex, a college girl, while he was at the movies with his new fling. She used up a pack of tissues, and I seemed to see my old self in her. Afterward, I asked Chad for a divorce. He was confused. "Why not wait a bit? Maybe I'll turn over a new leaf." I gave a faint smile but said nothing. Instead, I booked a plane ticket and flew across the ocean. If he wouldn't turn around, I'd take the first step.

She was looking for her equal. All the other men couldn't compare to Jareth Steele, CEO of Steele Logistics. Jerrica Betton, CEO of Betton Enterprises, has met her match.

Some stories are meant to be told and some people are meant to find each other across lifetimes. Kerrienne is blessed by the Gods. Her powers rival to none. A war is brewing and in this fight against a powerful enemy, an alliance with the laird of the MacCleods, rumored to be demon touched, is her only chance. Emrick hasn't felt human since his transformation into whatever the hell he was. yet Kerrienne can soothe the wild beast inside him with just a touch. This isn't just a love story. This story transcends time. And when they find each other again, the survival of their world will depend on their love. Little do they know, they're not just soulmates. Their souls have been branded by the essence of their past lives. Destined to find each other in every single one of their reincarnations. As Kerrienne and Emrick fight for the survival of their people, will they survive to find their happily ever after? or will they need more than one lifetime?

The fascinating,chaotic story of a food obsessed girl who discovers startling new abilities within herself and is transported to the mystical land of Opa where she must save the land,control her hormones and try to not fall in love with her best friend.

When Myra is abducted as ransom for her mother's debt, she has to device a plan to escape the infamous Miguel Carvarlho even if it means aiding the enemy. But she soon learns that every betrayal comes with a cost. When the line between passion and rage blur she is torn between two choices. Family or Love...

My pack. My family. My mate. My power. Isn't it funny how we think we are all born to just go through the motions? A child of the alpha is supposed to behave a certain way, train a certain way and be the leaders the pack will need. But what happens when family secrets come out and a grave threat is looming? . Alley was the only daughter of an alpha to the second largest pack in the world. Each year they hold their annual wolf ball where everyone comes in hopes to meet their mates. One single night Alley looked forward to, ruined by rogues but saved by her mate. Dreams that seem like nightmares become reality when Alley has to look into not only her family history but her wolfs history to learn why she and her wolf are different. Why someone is after her for a power she doesn't yet understand. Stephen, her mate who is the alpha to the largest pack is determined to protect her against anything that comes. With the two biggest packs protecting her what could go wrong? Alliances that have been unheard of are made, but Alley is ready to push aside their differences in hopes to save every supernatural race and not just her own but will their leaders do the same? When the ultimate battle happens who will show and who will hide?

On my fifth birthday with Zachary Murdock, I sit once again in front of a full table of cold food, just like every year before. Zachary had promised, as always, to spend the day with me. And, as always, he breaks that promise. This year, it's because his childhood sweetheart wanted to shoot a set of "artistic photos". She invited him and a few of his close buddies to be part of it. Without hesitation, he ditches me again and runs straight into her arms. At 11:00 pm, his childhood sweetheart posts a photo to her social media and sets it so that only I can see it. In the picture, four men are in nothing but black briefs and Windsor-knotted ties. They kneel around her while she is draped in sheer fabric like a goddess. The caption reads, "Some people beg for crumbs, but I own the entire bakery." I take a screenshot. Then, I send it to the girlfriends of all three of Zachary’s best buddies. If they all look down on me this much, let's hope they don't end up on their knees begging me someday.

Bitten by a mysterious sin-eater was an accident. Zachary Oliver wanted to spend the next four weeks of his life in the picturesque Bulgaria where he wanted to recharge and invigorate. His corporate life sucks. A mischievous and vengeful Goddess makes it her life’s purpose to wreck havoc in humans. Persephone will stop at nothing to get the revenge she had always wanted. Helena Battenberg, a noble sin-eater finds herself, slowly falling in love with the accidental Vampire. In the midst of chaos and the need to survive, the accidental vampire will find his place in the sin-eater world and finds his way to eternal romance.

"I love you very much dad, but we've talked about this. I'm not getting married now... or later even, so stop trying to convince me, it won't work." *************** Meet Amelia Phidelia Naa Shika Washington, a twenty-six year old black American woman who has assured herself and everyone else around her that she would never be tied down to any man in marriage. But despite her staunch belief in her assertion, her mother, Kelly Shirley Washington... a loving, religious mum, and drama queen extraordinaire seems to have other plans. Watch the drama unfold, as Mia battles her mother in a never-ending clash of wills, while dealing with an uncontrollable crush on her boss, and a huge pain in her ass... Antonio Valdez. This is war. But who will emerge victorious? Why don't you read and find out?

"In a garden full of flowers, the beast chose her. Among the roses she was, and although her petals were tainted with blood, to him, she was the prettiest of them all" Fate and it's funny ways. It's so fascinating when things could be so twisted, yet perfect at the same time. There has to be darkness for the light to shine and before every beautiful rainbow, there's an ugly storm. Isn’t this what our parents tell us in order to keep us calm? Rosalya was in an urgent need of this saying. She is found in a very hard and tricky situation when her world is suddenly flipped upside down. Her life going from quiet to loud, from sad and boring to interesting and wild. An Alpha King is the least she imagined would appear in her life, but that’s what life gave her. The change wasn’t exactly received happily... but it was definitely something that she would not regret in the future. She’s just a small delicate flower... one that manages things that she never knew were in her reach. Happiness and sadness, love and despair. Before every happy ending, there’s a roller coaster of a journey. Let’s see what this one holds for us to read.