Grumpy Old Men Bloopers Novels & Stories

He said, glaring at Max. "You shouldn't play bingo every time with your friends." He retorted. "Give me a break! I'm old!" He scoffed. "Dude, you're like 56 years old." Cole makes a deadpan face. "Don't you call your elders like this!" Helia slapped the back of his head, earning a whine of pain from him. "This family is crazy." Marco muttered. "Exactly." Eleanor sighed. "Man, I need to shit." Huxley grunted, everyone turned toward him with a disgusted face.

"You are so fucking sexy, Hollyn. You can tell me what to do any time you like. You blow the top of my head off." My eyes dart to the top of his head. My brow furrows. "The top of your head is still there, Tove. I didn't blow anything off." All three men laugh. "He means you made him lose his mind. Blow his load. Lay some pipe," Grumpy said from between my legs. "Come, Stretch. You made him come. A lot. And he liked it," Thane interpreted for me. "Oh." I smiled. "That's a good thing then."

Old man, you better make it up to her, or I'll be the first not to let you off the hook. The old man gave an awkward smile and said, "Don't worry, I will." The three of them successfully made it to the other side using ropes. "Hello, I'm Penny Schubert!" Penny said as she skipped over to say hello. The old man chuckled and said, "That's great, your personality is just as lively and charming as your mentor's was when he was young." When Jaycee and Miranda met each other, the situation inevitably became a bit awkward. Woody was contemplating how to relieve himself when his phone rang.

He complained unhappily. The new great-grandfather on the other end laughed loudly at his best friend’s grumpy attitude. “I sent many so they can serve as substantial proof that I won that bet we made last year as I told you that I would.” Old Boyd said proudly as his chest stood out from where he was.

If Glitch can’t fix it, then no one can. “Figures,” I say, sliding the phone into my pocket. “Thought maybe you could get it cleaned up or something. At least give us a clearer voice, maybe a frame of the guy’s face.” “Wish I could, but this one’s beyond saving.” Echo checks the time. “Women are training at one.” There’s a moment of silence before everyone speaks at once. “Ain’t my bitch.” I open my mouth, just half a second too late. Every one of them grinning like they knew it was coming.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, everyone! I'm really sorry…" said the old man as he walked away apologetically. Meanwhile, standing on the rooftop, Danny laughed so hard his stomach hurt as he watched the video his employees had taken and immediately sent it to Angeline. "Oh my God, Boss… Did you see how that old lady was screaming hysterically about calling the police while being carried away by those two people? It's so hilarious that I can't stop laughing."

one of the other Elders wondered making the rest laugh. These old men don’t even have teeth at the back. How the fuck do they still laugh in sync together in perfect harmony ? Although their laughs are too shrill for men to have. Ughh. Stupid whiny voice boxes. “Looks like she will be worth more dead than alive afterall,” another remarked and the rest of the assholes guffawed even louder at that. “She is nothing ! If she were in my toilet I wouldn't even bother flushing it. My bath mat means more to me than her,” another scumbag commented and then noises similar to cackling geese echoed throughout the place.

The first voice says, "A guy I know at the morgue. Classic Diablo style. He is getting worse with age. More violent." Another man says, "Do not let him hear that. He will break your legs. Remember Fast Eddie?" A rough laugh follows. "Not very fast anymore. Take the brakes off his wheelchair and he can still move pretty quick." The men laugh while their voices fade away. I wait a moment longer, holding my breath until everything becomes silent again.

He asked, voice thick and husky. An old man behind their seat coughed viciously. "Young people these days..." He muttered, flipping his menu. "Have no shame." He added grumpily. Alexandra rolled her eyes, smiling. Flustered, Jonathan apologized to the old man for the inconvenience. They just couldn't keep their hands off of each other.

She scolded, “Damn you, why did you push me?! Why do you care so much, you old bugger? Hurry and get lost now!” The old man saw stars after being slapped. The two young men immediately went up to support him. They yelled angrily.