Hilarious Jokes For Adults

I fell in love with him at first sight. From the moment our eyes connected on my first day in the new school, I felt the connection and I swear he did too. Something happened though and he has hated me since. Swearing that I was his to punish, his to torture. Liam Hale become my bully. Tormenting me with his hate and cruelty. Making my life a living hell. I want him to stop, to leave me alone but how will that happen when I crave him, his touch and his savage kisses. How will I be able to resist him when my body involuntarily reacts to him? Especially when he wraps his fingers around my neck and whispers "You're mine bunny"

He didn't love her but she became his Mrs. Jack. She couldn't interfere with his personal behavior and couldn't tell others that she was his wife. When his ex-girlfriend returned as promised, she handed him the divorce agreement, saying, "She's back, and I'm returning your freedom." But he just laughed and said, "Mrs. Jack, you even have our child. Where else do you want to go?"

On the eve of Valentine's Day, the entire Ravenport is waiting for Vivian Grayson's scores to be released. They're all watching to see if my score is high enough to attend her family banquet this year. The Grayson family has made it clear that their future son-in-law will be chosen at that banquet. Yet, after seven years of dating Vivian, I come in second every single time. This had made me the biggest joke in the city. This year is no exception. Vivian throws herself into the arms of the male model, Jason Carter, who ranks first. She says matter-of-factly, "I really like the way he smells. You understand, right, Noah? Next year, I'll definitely make you number one." The lively atmosphere in the banquet hall drops to freezing point. Everyone is waiting for me to tear that smug look off Jason's face. But I don't lose my temper like before. I simply say calmly, "Congratulations." A victorious smile appears on Vivian's face. "You've finally learned to control your temper, Noah. You're not far from becoming the Graysons' son-in-law." I nod indifferently. I am about to become someone else's son-in-law, but not the Grayson family's. I have disagreed and argued with my family for the past seven years. Now, it's time to follow their arrangement and go abroad to honor the marriage they set up for me.

After waking up from a ten-year coma, Ana finds herself in the harsh reality that werewolves now rule the globe. The immortal creatures have destroyed most of humanity and are imprisoning and torturing the few that remain. Ana discovers the werewolves’ dark need for one thing, despite their hatred for people; reproducing. When she learns that she has been held in reserve for the most devious of them all; the Alpha, her worst nightmares come true.

‎Olivia Hughes never expected to marry a Logan. The same family that destroyed her father, stole their wealth, and left her mother sick and broken. But when her boss gives her an impossible choice - marry Aiden Logan or watch her family lose everything all over again - she has no choice but to say yes. ‎ ‎Aiden Logan doesn't want a wife. He doesn't want anyone close enough to hurt him, not after his mother abandoned him and his father turned love into a weapon. But when his father forces this marriage on him, he finds himself trapped with a woman who looks at him like he's the enemy - because to her, he is. ‎ ‎Two people bound by a contract neither wanted. Two families connected by betrayal and blood. Living under one roof, fighting every day, hiding their wounds behind sharp words and sharper stares. But when secrets start surfacing, when old betrayals come to light, and when hatred slowly cracks open to reveal something neither expected - Olivia and Aiden must decide if some contracts are worth breaking, and if some enemies are worth loving. ‎ ‎In a game of audacity meets audacity, the only rule is: don't fall in love. ‎ ‎But rules were made to be broken. ‎

Ever since her parents died, nerdy Amelia Forbes has always been bullied by the school's bad boy and jock, Jason. Ruthless and drop dead gorgeous, Jason makes her school years a living hell. Meaner than the devil himself, he is always sure to ruin Mel's day. One day, they are paired up for a school project and in the process of working on the project at home, Jason forces himself on her. Ashamed, Mel feels disgusted with her inability to stand up for herself and soon, she finds out she is pregnant with her bully's baby. Scared out of her wits, poor Mel is helpless. No one is willing to come to her aid except Adrian, Jason's best friend. And as Jason sees Mel with Adrian, he begins to get jealous and soon, he finds himself falling for Mel. But will Mel ever forgive him? Will she ever forget the wrongs he had done to her?

I groan, leaning my body over his, resting my forehead against his shoulder. “Ride me, Angel.” He commands, panting, guiding my hips. “Put it in me, please…” I beg, biting his shoulder, trying to control the pleasurable sensation that's taking over my body more intensely than any orgasm I have felt alone. He's just rubbing his dick on me, and the sensation is better than any I've been able to provide on my own. “Shut up.” He says hoarsely, digging his finger even harder into my hips, guiding the way I ride on his lap quickly, sliding my wet entrance and causing my clit to rub against his hard-on. “Hah, Julian…” His name escapes with a loud moan, and he lifts my hips with extreme ease and pulls me down again, making a hollow sound that makes me bite my lips. I could feel how the tip of his dick dangerously met my entrance… Angelee decides to free herself and do whatever she wants, including losing her virginity after catching her boyfriend of four years sleeping with her best friend in his apartment. But who could be the best choice, if not her father's best friend, a successful man and a convicted bachelor? Julian is used to having flings and one-night stands. More than that, he has never been committed to anyone, or had his heart won over. And that would make him the best candidate… if he were willing to accept Angelee's request. However, she's determined to convince him, even if it means seducing him and messing with his head completely. … “Angelee?” He looks at me confused, maybe my expression is confused. But I just open my lips, saying slowly, “Julian, I want you to fuck me.” Rating: 18+

Everything in Amelia Hart’s life came crashing down the day her father’s company went bankrupt. Left with piles of debt, a sick younger brother, and no clear way out, she walked into the office of the cold, ruthless billionaire CEO she worked for—Lucas Stone—with nothing to lose and a desperate plea in her eyes. Except… “I have a proposition,” Lucas said, his voice cold and commanding. He slid a document across the table. “A contract marriage. Six months. You get the money to save your family. I get what I want.” His gaze dropped to her trembling fingers. “You’re just my assistant, Amelia. Don’t think for a second this makes you worthy.” “But still, Mr. Stone,” I replied, holding back my tears. “I’ll marry you, and I’ll keep to your terms.” His cruel smile widened. “You just signed your soul away, Miss Hart.” But what neither of them expected… was the night that changed everything. And the test that came back positive. She’s pregnant… for her boss.

My in-laws were hit by a car crash. I called my husband, begging him to give me some money to pay the hospital bill. He said, "Oh, if you want money, just come out with it. That excuse is terrible!" He hung up on me. Despite how unfair it felt, I had to call him again. This time, a voice I was familiar with hit my ears. A woman's voice. "Chris, I got a bit too much sunscreen on my hand. Can I smear the rest on your abs?" Lovingly, my husband said, "You little troublemaker." His parents died that night. Overseas.

“Coming up next, Omega 36! Green eyes, blonde hair, curvy figure. A real catch! This one even comes with a bonus. She has a child!” The red curtain in front of us gradually pulls open. I’m momentarily blinded by the glaring strong light up front. Yet I don’t even need to look at those men sitting down stage to know that their eyes are filled with disgusting lust. I can only hold the child in my arms and slowly move forward.