Hilarious Profile Pictures

It was all her fault. My life could have been simple—40-hour shifts at KFC, sneaking extra chicken crumbs, and binge-watching reality shows. But no. Instead, here I was, standing at the altar, saying I do to a man whose idea of “casual” involved drugs, women, and murder on speed dial. Thanks, Mom. Not only did she ruin my life, but she also sold it—traded me off to the deadliest Mafia boss alive, Mario Santiago, as if I were some secondhand couch on clearance. Mario Santiago. Yeah, that Mario Santiago. The Human Terminator. The guy whose enemies mysteriously vanish like my paycheck two days after payday. And now, I was his wife. He glanced at me with a slow, wolfish smile that practically screamed trouble. That was when I knew two things: 1. I was completely doomed. 2. This man was going to wreck my heart (and probably my life). But hey, it could be worse, right? At least I’d get a killer wardrobe out of it. *** Are you looking for romance and humor? Stuck with Mario Santiago is a hilarious, Mafia billionaire romance filled with danger, betrayal, drama, and a love story you won’t forget. Dive in—you won’t regret it (but the characters might).

My name is Emma. At 31, I am doing well for myself. I’ve got a great job. Or at least a well paid job, my boss loves me, and my girlfriends think I’m great. More important than anyone's opinion is that of my housemate, and best friend in the world, Scott. Scott thinks the world of me and always tells me to be myself. So why do I feel the need to lie outrageously on dates? From rock-climbing to Muay Thai: when it comes to prospective boyfriends, I am compelled to embellish my C.V. with unlikely porkies that alwaysbackfire - with hilarious results. I have Craig to blame for that - he really shattered my sense of self-confidence and self-worth. But then I turn the spotlight on Scott, and he wishes he'd never brought it up. With a penchant for checked shirts and Harry Potter-style specs, I decide he needs a makeover and to experience the abysmal dating world. My friendship with Scott began in the most unconventional way. His past life had made him homeless and isolated, but he saved me. And now we are inseparable. My dating disasters began when my relationship with he-who-must-not-be-named ended. Waking up with a pounding head, a dry mouth, aching limbs and a random arm draped over my waist, I struggle to get up and then stumble to the bathroom. I rubbed my eyes and stare at the hungover, half dead panda eyed loser staring back at me. What started out as a lighthearted challenge with Scott, became something more. We were prepared. But nothing could prepare us for the surprise results! Before long, I realise that our lives will never be the same again.

"Why pretend you don't want us when your nipples are hard?" Oliver's hands slid slowly under my skirt. I swallowed hard, feeling a lump in my throat. I grasped his hands, but his brother Owen yanked them away. "Because I hate you all! I can't help but wonder why moon goddess made you guys my mates." Their laughter filled the room as if a hilarious joke had just been told. Gradually, his fingers made their way to my pussy skin, then I caught a glimpse of the three brothers whose gaze was fixed on my exposed body. "You must keep this between us because this bond is forbidden. We will fuck you whenever we want because you belong to us" Owen declares as I looked away from them, but Orion gently turned my face towards them, their eyes filled with lusts. There are many secrets we keep for future sake, but what if there are more darker ones to discover? ---------- Miranda's life took an unexpected turn when she was betrayed and rejected by her high school boyfriend because she was a weak omega. Devastated, She also finds out her mum was getting married to a billionaire Lycan King. Accepting a new father was difficult, but that was only the beginning of her challenges. When she met the Lycan King's sons, she discovered they were her former bullies 'The Lycan Triplets' from high school, and to make matters worse, she was fated to be their mate. How will she cope with this situation? What will happen when their parents finds out that they are mates which is forbidden? Of course it has to be kept hidden but for how long? Also will the Triplets continue to bully her, or seek her forgiveness?

Luke has immigrated to the United States, however in the long run understands that this United States is not quite the same as the United States of his past life. Here, the superpowers and characters from the motion pictures in his past life really exist. How might Luke admission in reality as we know it where such frightening superpowers exist? Luckily, he has a cheat - the Super Detective System. Join Luke on his new excursion toward turning into a criminal investigator. With Luke, No Secret.

Lisa Williams has been in love with her best friend Stephan Biscotti since college, but never had the courage to tell him. After one drunken night that Lisa can barely remember leaves her with an illegitimate child, she is forced to make a decision that can affect three lives. Now rumors are spreading that Stephan is getting married, Heartbroken, Lisa moves on and starts dating Ricky, she hopes to finally find some type of happiness even if it's not what she truly wants, but When Stephan finds a BDSM profile on her computer it seems fate has had other plans.

On my birthday, my husband of five years accompanied his childhood sweetheart to celebrate her dog's birthday. Avery Simpson published a loving post: [The happiest baby in the world. Mom and Dad will be with you. I hope you're always happy.] Seeing the words "Mom and Dad", I commented a question mark with confusion. The next moment, I found myself blocked. Charles Logan called me and lashed out at me. "Why do you always have to mess things up at the worse possible time? You're worse than a dog. How despicable!" Shortly after, Avery changed her profile picture to one of her and Charles, hands intertwined. When I saw the obvious provocation, I didn't get angry like before. That's because I had already made up my mind to get a divorce.

Lihim sa mga kabanda ni Jhonel Hosoda ang relasyon niya sa co-singer sa dating pinagtatrabahuan niya sa Japan, not until he proposed to Akime, upang matanggap lamang ang rejection mula rito. Ang matagal niyang pinaghandaan at inasam ay nasira sa isang sandali lang. Ngunit kung bakit sa gitna ng pag-iwan ni Akime sa kanya ay biglang may isang babaeng nais pumalit sa ex-girlfriend niya para maging asawa. Sa labis na awa at concern ay inalok ni Laceyleigh ang kamay niya kay Jhonel para siya na lang ang pakasalan nito, pero sa halip ay pinagtawanan siya. But her guts reached to its next level. She kissed him, and then... he kissed her back! Mula niyon ay umiwas na siya rito. Sadyang mapagbiro lang ang tadhana dahil sa kagagawan ni Jhonel ay nag-viral sa social media ang pictures niya, hindi dahil sa gusto siya nitong makita kundi para mabawi ang engagement ring na ninakaw niya. Mahanap pa kaya muli nila ang isa’t isa?

"You are mine!" He said with his dominating voice holding my neck, he was choking me, I was frightened to the very core, shaking. "The moment I paid you that huge sum of money, you became an asset to me" he added "You can't back out now. It's too late" he said again, still holding me. "I'm not yours" I managed to say in a cracked voice. "I will never be yours" I replied with a cracked voice trying to breathe." "You are nothing, you are just a mere whore with nothing else but a standing pole, a hoe who spreads her legs for money and  that's all you will ever be. A stripping hoe!" he said, tears rolled down from my cheeks as I began to cry. "If you try to break the deal we have by revealing it to an outsider, you will be dead! And come to think about it, who would believe the words that come from a stripping hoe like yourself? No one, no one will ever believe you! Because you know what you are? A complete Street whore. That's exactly what you are and what you will ever be." "If I'm a complete whore to you. Why did you choose me?" "Because you are nobody. I don't want my family digging into your profile and finding something, so I chose you. You were the perfect match that fit into all of this charade" he said intuitively. "I don't want to do this anymore,  I will wire you back your money first thing tomorrow morning" I said, trying to leave. He drags my hand vigorously. I was scared to the very core, shaking like a drenched rat. "You don't seem to understand the concept of our agreement, you don't seem to understand, Khloe"

The year I loved Channing Waltz the most, he shattered my hopes. I remember, as I was hauled into the restroom, beaten mercilessly by strangers, there he stood, grinning like the sun itself. His face beamed with a brightness that made my heart sink. The burns from his childhood friend's curling iron marred my skin, leaving a trail of scars, and all the while, he took out his phone, snapping pictures of me in my undressed humiliation and posting them online for the world to mock. I cried, begged him to spare me, but he only laughed coldly, his voice as sharp as a blade. "You haven't even begun to suffer what my sister went through. What's the hurry?" That was when the truth hit me like a lightning strike. He had come to me, drawn me in with warmth, with affection, pretending to care—when all along, it was merely a means to an end. He had used me to set the stage to avenge his sister.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Lucas snapped, his eyes darkening as he threw the papers and pictures at my face. I didn't need to look at them to know what they were. My heart sank at the pain and look of betrayal in his eyes, but he had hurt me more, and he had no right to play the victim here. "How was I supposed to not do that? You disappeared without a trace!" I yelled back in anger, my fists clenching at my sides as I tried not to cry. Losing her virginity to Lucas was a dream come true for Audrey until he vanished without anything but a goodbye note. She became a single mom and moved on, raising her son on her own and working to take care of them both. Five years went by like a flash and Lucas returned with his fiancee, but this time as her new boss and he didn't even remember who she was. Fate and destiny played a game of second chance, bringing the lost lovers back together. Would they be able to ignore the flame that kindled whenever they were together? Will they let go of the past and embrace the possible future? Or will they let history repeat itself?