Romans & histoires I Love So Much It Hurts

Not a frown, not a smile. "You're not that guy, Ric. Not anymore." “You’re still my Clumsy Nancy, though,” I say, and she laughs. Her laughter faded, but the light in her eyes lingered. “I hate that I’m this vulnerable, I hate that he can still hurt me, Ric,” she told me. “I want to be strong and act like this is a piece of cake. I hate that I can’t. I hate that I’m not as strong as I pretend to be.”

I wanna know if there's something wrong with the way I love. Maybe I never did anything right in my life, and this is the only right thing I ever did. To love. "Everything's wrong with you." That sentence stuck in my mind. In the office, in the penthouse, in the gym, everywhere. It made me question myself. Oh baby, why do you have to be so honest and cruel? I am not a masochist, but why do I keep getting myself hurt with her words and actions? Maybe I love her too much. It's toxic.

“Just let me be who I am It's what you really need to understand And I hope so hard for the pain to go away And it's torturing me, but I can't break free So I cried, and cried but just won't get it out The silent scream” How couldn't they at least hear me out, before they criticized me and did that. Because it hurts. Fucking hurts! They are my parents, but they don't act like one. “Tell me why you're putting pressure on me And everyday you cause me harm That's the reason why I feel so lonely Even though you hold me in your arms” ***

Love ! Love ! Love ! I never knew what the word meant , just saying it alone amuses me. I have always been depressed , sad , devastated and most of the time I hate myself. I always wanted to commit suicide as I felt my life had no meaning , but do you know what stopped me? "Pain " that's is what I hate most and so I couldn't slit my wrist or stab myself , but you know what ? After doing a lot of researches I found a suitable method that wouldn't bring me much pain but I found it kinda weird, why because it involves me choking on my own saliva.

But it seems like It also won't go away either. Feeling used, But I'm still missing you, And I can't see the end of this, Just want to feel your kiss against my lips, And now all this time is passing by, But I still can't seem to tell you why, It hurt me every time I see you, Realize how much I need you, I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you, Don't want to but I can't put anybody else above you, I hate you, I love you,

I hate him! I fucking hate him with everything I have and I hope he crashes on his stupid bike that makes him look smoking hot! Covering my face with my hands, I burst into tears. I don’t hate him. I could never hate him. I love him so fucking much that I would die for him. I’d kill for him. Why does loving someone hurt so much? Is this what men mean when they say that love is the greatest weakness one can possess? It can be one’s downfall until there is no return.

I need her to take all her anguish and pain and use it against me. For her, I will be her punching bag; verbally and physically. My eyes begin to brim with tears that I have no right to shed. I feel her pain, the deceit chewing her up and I want to tell her that I am sorry. I’m sorry for being a selfish prick who only saw her as my end game. But I don’t. I can’t. But right now, I can’t for the life of me string four words together that don't sound like: “I fucking love you.”

Because I may not know much above love it loving someone but I know one thing. You do not hurt someone you love, not the way they hurt me.

He talked about love and how much love can heal a broken mind and soul , stating that if you must love then you must forget all the pains in your heart. "The love you hated could be your perfect love. The love I hated saved me and has mended my heart for good", Harry said in his speech.

All I know is, I felt more pain in his voice as this song accompanies. "From the beginning, Ryn when you came into our lives, in my life I was hurting you. I tried to push you away. When I admitted to myself that you were important to me and I kept you in my heart, I had to keep on hurting you especially by leaving you. Now, after many years and I have returned, I have broken my promise to myself that I would never hurt you again. I am so stupid! I love you. I love you so much but I'm hurting and I am hating myself for being so cruel to you because of my anger and jealousy! I'm so stupid, Ryn!”