I Miss The Old Me Novels & Stories

Because there is no other option. I can't change myself and I can't be miserable and bitter forever. So all I can do is, accept my lame ass fate and make the best of it, as Luna told me. "Are you ready?" She asks. I don't really know though, I don't know what will be waiting for me in there. I don't know if my mother really hates me now. I seriously hope not because... I miss her a lot. I miss my dad, too. I miss my old life. And I miss the person I used to be, "Hey, it's all good. You're still that same person, you just have to slowly recover."

Everything. I think about all the times over the past year when I've wanted to call him. Not about business or family obligations, but just to talk. To share a stupid joke or complain about traffic or ask his opinion on something that doesn't matter to anyone except me. The way we used to before we grew up and got careful with each other. "I missed this," I admit. The words feel rusty, unfamiliar. "I missed... us." Austin's smile is soft around the edges. "Me too."

I look down at my lap, ashamed, but he continues. "I just want you to be better, Imogene. I’m worried about you and I’m worried about the twins." he says, his voice breaking slightly. "I want you back, the real you. I hate seeing you like this. I know it’s not going to be easy, and I’m not rushing you. Take your time to grieve. I just… I miss the old you." The words made my stomach clench, not because they’re harsh, but because they’re true. I miss the old me, too. The version of myself that laughed easily, that wasn’t haunted by the sight of blood staining my hands, by the lifeless look in my father’s eyes.

That particular day I hugged him,the day of the interchange,the sports day. Everything thing we did together. I miss the kids at the taekwondo center. I miss Dad I miss the smell of early morning bacon. I miss sitting over the fire place with him eating dinner. I miss the warmth of country living. Now I'm back to luxury,but it no longer appeals to me. I don't want to be in a world where there is no Dad! I've been going to the garden and staring at that particular tree, I tried pushing myself into it,but there was no door, it was just a tree.

Perhaps it's because of the fact that he is getting old already and, as any person getting older wants, he just badly want to be young, fresh and glowing again. He want to take back every bad decisions he had that lead into molding what he is now, he want to experience the moments that he missed that would have probably make him a better man now, and of course, he want to take back the time where his family was still a perfect picture and that would've given him a clear perception of what's the true definition of a family. He missed his glory days where dreaming is all about doing your best, he missed his mother who never left him after his father did, he missed his old, naive and aggressive

“So why are you mad at me?” “Because I miss the old you!” I blurted thoughtlessly. Shit. He dropped his laptop on the table and rose “Explain.” I swallowed, my eyes darting to the exit. “I miss the old Pierce that did not psychoanalyse all of my features to know when I was mad, I miss the you that did not visit my mum to knit or buy flowers for her. I miss the cold calculating version of you.” He stopped a short distance away, his eyes focused on me, like he was committing every feature into memory, studying every switch. It felt like he recognized parts of me I hadn't discovered. “Why?”

I need to back my old self again. I need to back myself when I was happy. A happy woman who always smile to anyone. A joyful woman who don’t mind any of her problem. And a courageous woman who fight for her perspective. I miss the old me, where is she? When is he coming back?. And is there still a chance that I can bring back the one I used to have ?. The former personality I have ?. I hope so… I hope so, ‘cause I really miss the old me. The old me who is always happy and smile to everyone even I had a heavy problem and a very bad day.

I don't know, but I hold a grudge when they let me forget everything from my past. Honestly, I don't want to forget all of it. Including the love, I had for Bonnie. It reminds me of The Averi, which was so free and happy. I'm missing my old self, but I can't go back to that now. I must recite my motto to my mind all over again. I think I forgot the three words that I always put to my mind whenever I see Jazmin. What was it again? Ahh, the past is the past! Yeah, that's right.

But what I didn't understand is why the hell my heart started beating fast like I had done a marathon. Today, I'm looking different, but it doesn't mean that it is my imitation. Maybe it had to do something with my feelings. The empty hole inside me craving for something; That has been missing for a long time. Maybe I'm not happy the way I was before. Maybe my eyes were not sparkling the way they did before. Maybe I'm not laughing the way I laughed before. Maybe you don't remember me the way you did before. Maybe you don't feel the same way about me the way you did before.

I truly missed using my own soap and I have to admit I am pleased at the first batch I’ve made in this world. I’ve grown so accustomed to my new life and the people in it that I’ve completely put aside my past and began accepting them as my new family. I do miss my old family but when your past hurts, who wouldn’t want a fresh new start? I went to sleep thinking what more could I ask for. I wanted things to stay like they were, wanted to be happy and carefree. Who knew fate, or should I say this world, had something else in store for me.