It's Tearing Me Apart Novels & Stories

And everything I was holding together Fell apart.

“Of course she is.” “She can’t stay away.” I ignored them. Every word. “I’m okay,” I whispered, like repetition could make it true. Suddenly, the music changed. A slow song. Familiar. It reminded me of the life I thought I’d have by now— Not this noise, not this place… not me. That was it. I could no longer hold back the tears and the heaviness that had been building in my chest for weeks. Something inside me cracked. My hands stilled, my chest tightening—then shattering.

Angry at myself for hoping anything would change. For believing that what we had meant something. I tell myself I won't cry anymore. That I'm done breaking down over someone who clearly doesn't care. I broke that promise immediately after the declaration. The tears come hard and fast. I press my face into a pillow to muffle the sounds because the walls are thin and I don't want neighbors hearing me fall apart. Everything hurts. My chest, my throat, my eyes. Like my body is trying to expel the pain but there's too much of it.

It means a great deal to me! ＊ It hurt because it mattered. -- John Green ＊ We walked in the same direction But this place is our last We used to talk about 'forever' But we're breaking each other down I thought we had the same dream But that dream became just a dream My heart is ripping, just set it on fire So the pain and the feelings won't remain You're my tear You're my you're my tear — BTS, Outro: Tear A U T U M N S U M M E R S

Pain… I know pain. I know how it feels, how it can twist and break you until you’re nothing but fragments of who you used to be. I’m shattered, and I can’t be fixed. Happiness is fleeting—whenever I think I’ve found it, it slips through my fingers, leaving me even more broken than before. Have you ever been in a place where you can’t cry anymore, even when you desperately needed to? When the tears just won’t come, no matter how much you want to let it all out?

Unclaimed stray. I stood frozen as laughter echoed around me. My vision blurred instantly, tears burning behind my eyes. It felt like someone had ripped my heart out and pinned it to the walls for everyone to destroy. I let out a shaky breath before ripping one of the posters off the wall violently. Then another. And another. I tore them down frantically while tears streamed down my face. I didn’t even care that everyone was watching me break apart in the middle of the hallway. Eventually, my knees gave out beneath me.

It got stuck in my throat. I'm breaking apart. Snapping loose. And I have no idea how I can hold myself together.

This chapter of my life was finally going to be over. “This is it Abran. I hope you find the love and life you have been searching for and find never ending joy in your child” I stand and move towards the door and open it. Signalling that the conversation was over. As much as I knew that I needed to do this for myself, I was falling apart inside and I needed him to leave so that I could fall apart completely without falling back into his arms. Abran stands and walks towards me, stopping as he reaches out to place a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

There wasn't a clear dividing line, just a slow erosion of the part of me that had been holding it all together since the isolation chamber door clanged shut fourteen days ago. It all gave way at once, the way things do when they've been under too much pressure for too long. I started crying before I even realized I was going to. Not the quiet, contained kind of tears. These were the tears that consumed my whole body, making my fractured ribs scream in protest, tears that came from somewhere deep beneath the surface of control.

I’m a mess. The suitcase sprawls open on the bed, half-packed, mocking my futile attempts to hold my life together. Each item I throw into it feels like I’m tearing a piece of my heart away, discarding memories, dreams, and hopes. My hands tremble, fingers slipping on zippers and clasps, as I struggle to breathe through my sobs. This again. My heart is getting torn out for the second time in as many months.