It's Tearing Me Apart Novels & Stories

This chapter of my life was finally going to be over. “This is it Abran. I hope you find the love and life you have been searching for and find never ending joy in your child” I stand and move towards the door and open it. Signalling that the conversation was over. As much as I knew that I needed to do this for myself, I was falling apart inside and I needed him to leave so that I could fall apart completely without falling back into his arms. Abran stands and walks towards me, stopping as he reaches out to place a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

There wasn't a clear dividing line, just a slow erosion of the part of me that had been holding it all together since the isolation chamber door clanged shut fourteen days ago. It all gave way at once, the way things do when they've been under too much pressure for too long. I started crying before I even realized I was going to. Not the quiet, contained kind of tears. These were the tears that consumed my whole body, making my fractured ribs scream in protest, tears that came from somewhere deep beneath the surface of control.

“You think you're so special—” "No. I think I'm done letting people like you make me feel small.” My voice doesn't shake or break as I cut her off. “So if you want to gloat about winning Knox back? Go ahead. But don't expect me to fall apart over it. I'm done falling apart.” The lie burns. Everything inside me is falling apart. The ache in my chest is unbearable. My hands are shaking. My heart feels like it's being ripped to pieces all over again.

I’m a mess. The suitcase sprawls open on the bed, half-packed, mocking my futile attempts to hold my life together. Each item I throw into it feels like I’m tearing a piece of my heart away, discarding memories, dreams, and hopes. My hands tremble, fingers slipping on zippers and clasps, as I struggle to breathe through my sobs. This again. My heart is getting torn out for the second time in as many months.

Why does this have to hurt so bad? It’s as if someone tore my heart out of my chest, chewed around on it, and spat it out, covering it with dirt. Not that I would notice anything after it has been torn out. My soul has been sliced with a hot fire, burning right through it, leaving nothing but burnt ground and ashes. The ringing in my head is driving me insane, and I growl inwardly, begging for it to stop. For it to have mercy with me. My skin feels cold, way too cold, and my teeth start shattering while the tears are still streaming down my face endlessly.

And now he's gone, leaving me alone and broken. I sink to the ground, unable to stand. Tears stream down my face, blurring my vision. I clutch my chest, trying to ease the ache. But it's useless. Nothing can fill the void he has left in me. Nothing can make me whole again. I'm shattered, like a glass vase that has fallen from a great height. I can't be fixed, I can't be saved. I'm doomed to live in this misery, this emptiness, this darkness.

“I am done being everyone’s project.” I storm out of the room, my pulse pounding in my ears. I do not stop until I reach my bedroom. The moment the door clicks shut, I collapse onto the floor, trembling. Tears flood my eyes without warning, messy and unstoppable. I press the heels of my palms against my face and try to breathe, but each inhale feels shallow and sharp. Why am I like this. Why can I not control it. Why does everything feel so broken. I hate that Nathan sees the cracks. I hate that Barrett sees the cracks. I hate that I see the cracks.

“But I think it’s the only way. We can’t keep pretending that everything’s okay when it’s not. I can’t pretend anymore, Althea.” I collapsed onto the edge of the bed, my knees giving way beneath me, my hands shaking as I tried to hold onto something—anything—that could keep me from falling apart completely. Tears flowed freely now, my heart breaking in ways I hadn’t known were possible, as if each tear was a fracture in the foundation of everything I thought we had.

She wears it almost every time. “No…” My voice broke. I was really looking forward to a bit of hope, no matter how little. “I’m sorry, Edrick. I’m sorry.” I shook my head, knowing that if I opened my mouth to speak, I would break down in tears. There was this feeling I could not explain. It felt so real, so detailed. Like someone was tugging at my heart. Like it was being shredded into a thousand pieces, and I swear I could feel it bleed.

The walls seemed to close in on me, suffocating me with six years of lies. The tears and hurt I'd been holding back finally overwhelmed me. With trembling hands, I pulled out my phone and typed three words that felt like swallowing glass: "Let's break up."