Stripped Bare at My Own Divorce Party
In the third year of our marriage, my wife, Lucy Sloan, asks me to perform a striptease in place of a nightclub host, Oscar Reilly, who loses a dare.
She says, "Oscar is too timid. You do it for him!"
The crowd erupts in cheers.
"Lucy is so generous to let her own husband entertain us!"
"I hear Garrett has eight-pack abs! Looks like we are in for a treat."
As I listen to the crude remarks around me, I finally break down.
In a trembling voice, I say, "Lucy, let's get a divorce..."
A glass of red wine splashes straight onto my face.
Lucy chuckles mockingly. "The Mueller family has already gone bankrupt. Where could you possibly go without me?"
But this time, I am truly exhausted.