Jokes That Will Make You Pee

As soon as Danielle Bradford has recovered from her postpartum period, she brings her baby to the county clerk's office to register for the baby's birth certificate. "My baby's full name is Taylor Gardner. Her father is Matthew Gardner." The employee types on the keyboard, but his brows draw tighter afterward. "The system has flagged another child with the same name under the same father." His words leave Danielle momentarily stunned. Thinking that her ears have deceived her, she blurts out, "That's impossible! Our baby has just turned one month old!" But Danielle feels her phone buzzing in her pocket before she can finish speaking. She taps on the screen, only to see a photo sent by Matthew's assistant, Meghan Landry. In the photo, Matthew has his left arm wrapped around Meghan's waist while carrying a five-year-old boy with his right arm. The three of them stand in front of a kindergarten's entrance with smiles so bright that they practically sting Danielle's eyes. On the boy's chest is a nametag that clearly says "Taylor Gardner".

My fiance, Dante de Rossi, is the heir to a mafia family in Manhorne, and he loves me dearly. Yet, a month before our wedding, he says his family has arranged for him to have a baby with his childhood friend, Isobel de Luca. Despite my refusal to agree to it, he brings it up daily and tries to push me into it. Half a month before the wedding, I receive a pregnancy report. I find out that Isobel is over a month pregnant. I have yet to give Dante my permission. This is when I realize just how fragile our years-long relationship is. I cancel the wedding and destroy everything he has ever given me. On the day of the wedding, I set off for Etolia to further my medical career. I accept a role with an international medical organization, severing all ties with the mafia. From that moment onward, he and I no longer have anything to do with each other!

“There's this thing when you meet a person but all you feel is hate even though he didn't do anything to you.” Maybe that’s what JR feels for Gerard. Once the other man saw Gerard’s face, all it takes is a second from a face devoid of any emotion to scowling one when JR lays his eyes on him. Imbes tuloy na matuwa si Gerard na nakita na niya sa wakas ang matagal na niyang hinahanap na matalik na kaibigan noong mga bata pa sila, nawala ang saya na iyon nang maramdaman niya ang pagkadisgusto ni JR sa kanya kahit wala naman siyang ginagawa rito. Hindi na siya umamin at ang pag-aasam na maging kaibigan ito muli ay nauwi sa wala. But why after years of not seeing each other, John Raven suddenly wants to be friends with him again? Why was the other hell bent on making up with him? Naaalala na ba siya nito o may mas malalim pang dahilan ang paglapit ni JR sa kanya?

“Perempuan angkuh! Kau hanya seorang penari erotis, tapi sikapmu yang pongah ini seolah-olah kau adalah putri. Aku bisa saja menawarmu dengan uangku lalu memuaskan diriku dengan tubuhmu dan setelah itu membuangmu seperti sampah." Sean berbicara perlahan, dengan sengaja menekankan setiap kata. "Jadi Kesya mulai sekarang perhatikan sikapmu padaku, sebelum aku benar-benar menghancurkanmu tanpa sisa." Kesya tersenyum sinis lalu menjawab perkataan Sean yang seperti tak punya perasaan itu dengan sikap tenang. “Memangnya kenapa kalau aku penari erotis? Apa pekerjaanmu mengusik ketenanganmu? Kau mengataiku sampah tapi lihat dirimu sendiri, bukankah kau sangat menyedihkan? Jika kau sudah mengetahui bahwa aku ini sampah dan menjijikkan, kenapa kau malah mengejarku?” sambungnya dengan menohok ke dalam hati Sean.

Misty Lawrence has an ex-boyfriend whom she can't forget—Zach Sterling. Carter Flanagan has always hoped that he would one day replace Zach's place in Misty's heart. In the eighth year of his and Misty's marriage, he accidentally breaks a bowl that Zach randomly bought. Misty screeches, "Get the hell out of here! I don't want to see you anymore!" That's when Carter realizes he'll never win when it comes to Zach, especially since the latter is dead. This time, he prepares a divorce agreement and leaves after signing it. It's Misty's turn to panic…

Katherine Willow gave up everything for love — her dreams, her family, even her freedom. But when betrayal cuts deeper than any wound, she realizes the man she sacrificed it all for only ever saw her as a convenience. Cast aside for another woman carrying the child she couldn’t give him, Katherine finds herself alone, humiliated, and broken. Yet from the ashes of heartbreak, she rises stronger, determined to reclaim her life. A fierce divorce, a fiery encounter with a stranger, and the first step back into a world she thought she had lost — Katherine’s journey is only just beginning. In a world that tried to silence her, Katherine is about to roar.

“ Dear Ex-Wife, will you marry me Again?” He popped the question while on one knee before me. “ Please say yes to Daddy, Mommy!” The triplets said with a pout, cupping their hands lovely. How was I supposed to say NO to his proposal when Lucas was looking at me lovely and the twins were pouting so cutely? _______________ Katerina was in love with Lucas since she was a little girl and when she got a chance to get married to him as her stepsister's stand in bride, she didn't let the chance slip away. She agreed to marry Lucas Thompson, her dream husband. However, things change when Katerina's step sister shows up four years later holding a little boy's hand claiming that the baby belongs to Lucas. Lucas choses Monalisa over Katerina who has been by his side through thin and thick. Katerina has no choice but to leave the life that she had built for four years. However, what Lucas doesn't know is that Katerina is carrying his baby too… What happens when dark secrets come to light and one day Lucas finds out that Katerina is the mother of his babies? The true heirs of the Thompson family? Will he go after her or will he choose Monalisa over Katerina, again?

"Your Highness." "Lady Eiren." Di bawah langit malam yang kelam, tanpa sedikit pun memunculkan cahayanya sang bintang apalagi cahaya sang rembulan. Di tengah-tengah taman yang banyak ditanami bunga eglantine yang merumpun, … juga di antara hujan taburan kelopak bunga pohon plum yang jatuh meluruh. Beserta di sekitar beterbangannya bola-bola cahaya api, dilengkapi dengan kepakkan sayap kecil ratusan kupu-kupu merah muda. Mereka berdua, sepasang anak muda berlawanan jenis, yang masing-masing darinya sedang mencium harumnya setangkai bunga keramat pun, … saling berhadapan satu sama lain, dengan ekspresi muka yang tampak begitu serius. "Daripada Tunangan saya, …." "Daripada Tunanganku, …." Berbicara bersamaan sekaligus bergerak secara bersamaan pula, mereka … lekas melanjutkan ucapan yang sempat terjeda dengan menggunakan suara yang lantang, seraya mengasongkan tangkai bunga yang tengah dipegang sendiri untuk cepat-cepat diberikan kepada sang lawan bicara. "… Saya akan memilih Anda!" Sang pemberi bunga yang melambangkan cinta mati, yaitu bunga mawar hitam, … Lady dari kediaman Marquess Eiren, Darissa. "… Aku akan memilihmu!" Juga sang pemberi bunga yang melambangkan banyak kebebasan, yaitu bunga bakung laba-laba merah, … pangeran kedua kerajaan Aethelred, Lancient. "MARI/AYO KITA MENIKAH!" Sudah memutuskan untuk bekerja sama di kesempatan kedua ini, … dalam membalaskan dendam mereka.

Setelah gagal menikah dengan Xavier, laki-laki yang ia cintai delapan tahun lamanya. Kini, Aluna harus berusaha sekuat tenaga untuk menyembuhkan luka batinnya, luka tak kasat mata yang mampu membuatnya menderita. Menangis setiap malam karena teringat kenangan indah dengan sang mantan kekasih yang begitu ia cinta. Ketika Aluna tengah berjuang dengan luka, ia bertemu dengan Fazam yang merupakan teman satu kampusnya. Hadirnya Fazam bagai penawar luka yang tengah ia rasa. Namun, itu semua hanya di awal saja. Hubungannya dengan Fazam lama kelamaan berubah menjadi sebuah hubungan yang tidak sehat atau biasa disebut Toxic Relationship yang membuat Aluna menjadi jauh dari sahabat-sahabatnya, membuat gadis itu kembali mendapatkan luka karena cinta dari orang yang berbeda dan bahkan sempat terpikir untuk mengakhiri hidupnya saja. Inilah kisah hidup seorang gadis bernama Aluna Ocean Andromeda. Kisah hidup dengan lika-liku persoalan remaja yang tengah beranjak dewasa. Cinta, persahabatan, juga keluarga menjadi bumbu-bumbu kehidupan yang begitu berwarna. Kamu yang pernah singgah, dan sempat membersamai dalam jejak langkah menapaki jalan tak tentu arah menorehkan beragam untaian kisah.

BLURB Zara, a young lady whose entire life was ruined by her husband, Armstrong, and his mistress, Victoria. She left her son all alone at home just to come and remind Armstrong about their child's birthday, but she was framed by Victoria. Armstrong got Zara arrested. She had to spend the night in the police cell, leaving her son alone at home. When she was bailed out, she rushed home, only to find her son was lying lifeless in the living room. She filed for a divorce and vowed to avenge her son's death. After her divorce, she found out she was pregnant. ************* Armstrong never loved Zara, but when he received the news that she was giving birth to his child, he panicked. He couldn't let her go, he had to win his child and ex-wife back. He couldn't bear to see another man taking care of his ex-wife and child. Will he succeed in winning Zara back?