Jokes That Will Make You Pee Novels & Stories

Good and evil are just words. I don’t pretend to be the misunderstood hero—I’m the monster who tells the truth even when I shouldn’t. And the truth is, I should’ve walked away the moment she stepped into my bar. Bowen Fox cleans up other people’s messes for Boston’s most dangerous men. He kills, he hides, he buries—and he never feels a damn thing. Until a runaway with cherry-red hair and a fake name walks into his world, turning his carefully controlled life into chaos. Ripley Beretta—now Harley Beaumont—escaped the gilded cage of her mafia family and the arranged marriage that would have sealed her fate. Desperate to disappear, she takes a job at The Fox Hole, never expecting her new boss to be as infuriating as he is irresistible. But Bowen’s past and Ripley’s lies are bound by blood. He was hired to clean up her family’s mess… and she’s the one who made it. When desire turns to obsession, and secrets turn deadly, love becomes the most dangerous game of all. He was sent to destroy her. She might be his only salvation. And when the truth comes out—he’ll wish her hell.

“Dam, please. Please take my virginity.” Avery and Damian were best friends since high school, and Damian had a secret crush on her for years.Avery suffers from DID after her brother's death, and Damian will have to live with her in the college dorms to look after her. But them being roommates will change everything in their friendship, especially when Avery has to deal with three different personalities and her naive love for Nate Walker, Damian's worst rival.Can best friends become lovers?

I thought I was happy. I thought my life was perfect. I realised how wrong I was when I met her.~~~Melody started a new school 3 years ago and since then she's had a near-perfect life. An amazing group of friends, top grades and a loving, caring boyfriend. But when Thalia shows up and their paths collide her whole world starts to come crashing down.Now only one question is standing in her way. Are you happy?

Finding You Both Daisy Miller's life was exactly where she wanted it to be. A respected pediatric doctor in New York City, Daisy had dedicated her life to caring for children while convincing herself she never wanted any of her own. With a successful career, a beautiful apartment overlooking Manhattan, and the unwavering support of her older sister Harper, her future seemed perfectly planned. Then one girls' night changed everything. A chance encounter with a handsome stranger named Roman Moretti leads to a single unforgettable night. No last names. No careers. No expectations. Just one perfect evening neither of them can forget. Weeks later, Daisy discovers she's pregnant. Unable to find Roman and determined to face motherhood alone, Daisy prepares for the arrival of her daughter surrounded by family, friends, and the chaos only Harper can create. As the months pass, she slowly falls in love with the little girl growing inside her and begins building a future she never imagined for herself. Days after baby Lillie is born, a chance meeting in Central Park reunites Daisy with the man she's never quite forgotten. Shocked to discover he has a daughter, Roman embraces fatherhood without hesitation and becomes determined to make up for every moment he missed. As two strangers become parents, and two parents learn how to date, Daisy and Roman must navigate a relationship that starts completely backwards. Between sleepless nights, family drama, first smiles, and second chances, they discover that sometimes love finds you when you least expect it. Heartwarming, emotional, and filled with family, laughter, and romance, Finding You Both is a story about unexpected motherhood, finding your way back to the right person, and learning that the family you never planned for might be exactly what you've always needed. One unforgettable night. One beautiful daughter.

Carl Larson's intern is about to die, and her only wish is for him to sleep with her once. I disagree, and he says I'm petty. "It's just a one-time thing. She's about to die! Why do you have to assume I'm up to something dirty?" Is that so? I've seen them together more than once, though. I later agree, and he's relieved… until he sees me lying on his operation table for an abortion. He widens his eyes in disbelief. "What are you doing here?" I smile. I want him to murder his child. I want him to regret this for life.

Scarlett Rossi had felt nothing but devotion to Alexander Wolfe from the moment she met him but all he had ever seen her as was just a little girl that was never worth his attention. Now, years later, they are being forced to marry and he can't help but feel his attraction grow with every second he passes. Except he had broken her heart when she was younger and this time, has it guarded with iron walls. Would he be able to break through it and fill her with the love she deserves, or would this end in the most catastrophic way possible?

Brandon Garcia made a biggest mistake of his life. He hurt and ruined the only woman that love him so much at the very crucial time of their relationship. He regretted his decision but he couldn't undo things that happened already. Feeling down and rejected she ran away from him. And now after four long years their path crosses again. She changed. Not the same Candice he used to know before. He realized that he love her still. But for her he was just a forgotten past.

Donovan Du Pont is not your typical rich boy toy from a wealthy family. He has big dreams and goals with his life. What he wants most of all is to break away from the mundane everday uptight lifestyle he has grown up in. Everyday it's piano lessons, dance classes, tutoring in the highest mathematics, sciences, language arts, and more. His family counts on him to carry on their legacy and get into John Hopkins to become a world-renowned surgeon. But what happens when you add in you add falling for the unattainable? What happens when the ones you trust the most cut you deepest. Some pains you never get over and you never see coming.

Death is like a rain you cannot stop. Are you bound to be saved? Or bound to die? I saw you die.

*You want me to fuck you, i know you do* PRETEND YOU MINE. "I'm not your girl, Ethan." I snapped instantly. "You were during that kiss, Brynne." Eyes flickering, he read me, and then he inhaled. I was a damp mess between my legs, and I wondered if he could smell me. "You smell so good... and fucking sexy." Sweet Jesus! His thumb rubbed over my collarbone where his hand still rested on my neck. And I did absolutely nothing to stop him. I was enjoying the view too much. I'd tousled his hair from the mauling with my hands. He still looked gorgeous and probably did even when he crawled out of bed in the mornings. Bed. Was there a bed in our immediate future? It would take next to nothing on my part to get this man into bed. I didn't have to be a genius to know he wanted sex. The real question here was did I want it? "Ethan." I pushed against the wall of steel that was his body and got nowhere. "Why are you doing this? Why are you acting this way to me?" "Don't know. I can't stay away and I'm not acting. I tried to leave you alone but I can't do it." He feathered his other hand over my hair and down until it was resting on the other side of my neck. "I don't want to stay away from you." He rubbed slow erotic circles with his thumbs meeting at the middle of my throat. "You want me too, Brynne, I know you do."