Library Jokes Novels & Stories

I love it when Jorge smiles at me. We were laughing about my latest pay in Cards Against Humanity. The black card asked us to complete the sentence, “Nothing in life is certain except death and ….” I put “kids with ass cancer.” “Damn girl, you are against humanity,” Jorge joked, laughing like music to my ears. “Sorry, I didn’t have anything else,” I laughed back. Stretch my legs out and Jorge picks them up. He starts rubbing my ankles. “I can’t believe my pregnant sister made that joke,” Solen choked out as he laughed.

We were acting like a human couple on their first dates, I thought. "Care to share the joke?" He continued with his bored look. "I hope I'm not in it." I covered a giggle and then straightened myself to give a serious reply. "I just thought of a funny joke. That's all." "Enlighten me." He leaned back and smiled a challenge at me. I searched my memory for all the jokes I have heard or read, found one and cleared my throat. "Okay, here goes: what do you do when a werewolf eats your candy?"

Right before me, they began to lock lips, making me scrunch up my face in disgust. I waited for them to be done and when they were, I spoke up again. "I need to pee." I said, making all of them burst out into a round of hysterical laughter. "Go on. Don't let us stop you." Jordan mocked. "Just let it all out." Steve said, in between laughter. "Or you need to...strip, first?" Their laughter got even louder with every stupid joke they made, and I was slowly loosing it. I was tired of being laughed at and ridiculed by these bunch of assholes.

Where all the confidence came from before I have no idea but I suddenly feel very naked. “Yeah, I wasn’t quite ready to meet the chain of my life so I thought that I would try breaking out of these first” He states. My head whips toward him as I arch my eyebrow wondering what he meant. When the joke finally hits me I guffaw with laughter as I brace my hands on my hips. He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I laugh harder than before. “That was a terrible joke” I say through my chuckling. “Oh yeah, I’ve been wracking up jokes to tell you for the last year. You just wait because they are going to get so much worse” He says as he smiles at me.

Leesa had to give the guy credit. He didn’t seem to let the catcalls and groans bother him. He either had the thickest skin in the world, or he thought the derision was in some twisted way an approval of his act. His jokes were new, but were equally as dumb as the last time. She wondered if he wrote the stuff himself or got it from some website—stupidjokes.com, maybe.

This is the most goals joke as long as I've heard. "You're kidding, right? I swear! That's funny. Wow! If you join to stand up comedy, I make sure you can be the winner." "Na," said Mommy quietly. Chiko still showing his smile. "I'm serious and this is not a joke. You can tell the difference too, right?" Shit!

It felt good—light, like a breath of fresh air in this park where the wind rustled the leaves around us. We sat on the bench after that, side by side, our shoulders almost touching. He started telling these silly jokes—the kind that weren’t even funny, just dry and ridiculous, like “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” Corny as hell. But I laughed anyway, hard and genuine, because the real joke was how bad they were, how he delivered them with that straight face like he thought they were gold. It warmed me up inside, chasing away the chill for a bit.

It didn't help that I was wearing heels either. "Let me tell you a joke," Conner says. We all looked at him as he motioned us to come closer. "Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?" He gives us a moment to think before he bursts out laughing. "Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!" Conner raised his hand in the air with less coordination, demanding that he get a high-five for his terrible dad joke. He got a few nudges and pushed instead. If I were sober, I would have gagged a little, but since I was drunk, I am beyond the point of caring and laughed for the sake of it.

She pulled back, a grin spreading across her face. "Okay, enough with the sappy stuff before I break out in hives. Want to hear a joke?” I laughed shaking off the heaviness of the conversations "Sure hit me” She launched into a ridiculous story about a goose that somehow got stuck in a wedding cake and by the time she was done I was laughing so hard my sides hurt. Once the laughter died down we slipped into a more relaxed conversation. I told her about the explosion at the HQ. “Have you heard anything new about it?"

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.