Library Jokes Novels & Stories

"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine." "Please stop," Ashlyn laughed, covering her face with her hands. "Your jokes are getting worse." "My jokes are berry good, thank you very much." He grinned, clearly proud of himself. "Get it? Berry?" "I'm filing for divorce." "No, you're not. You love my dad jokes." "I tolerate them at best." Richard leaned forward, still holding the strawberry. "What do you call a fake noodle?" "Don't—" "An impasta!" Despite herself, Ashlyn burst out laughing. "That's it. I'm leaving."

"Alright, fine. If you won't smile, I'll have to tell you my top-tier jokes. What do you call a fake noodle?" Elena had blinked, her stern frown flickering for a split second. "What?" "An impasta." She had stared at me in absolute, stony silence for three whole seconds. "That is terrible. That is the worst joke I've ever heard." "Okay, okay, tough crowd," I had grinned, my dark eyes sparkling with wicked delight as I stroked her cheek. "Why don't scientists trust atoms?" "Jaxx, please stop…" "Because they make up everything."

It wasn’t like I could say no. He probably thought this was his way of cheering me up, or maybe this was his version of that “perfect way to play” he’d mentioned earlier. So he started. The first joke was… okay. It was about a chicken and a ladder, though I didn’t really get the point of it. Still, I forced a small laugh. I didn’t want to ruin the mood. He went on to the next one. This one was about a man walking into a bakery and asking for bread shaped like a guitar.

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She barely laughed at his jokes. “What’s funny?”

“Now. The laugh. I heard you yesterday, when you thought no one was listening. It’s too high.” He stopped in front of me, tapping his own chest. “Elion’s was deeper. From here.” The gesture was intimate. Unexpected. I flinched. His jaw tightened instantly. “Try again,” he said. “I’ll tell you a joke. It’s a terrible one. Elion hated it.” He told it anyway... something painfully unfunny involving a squirrel and a priest. I forced out a weak chuckle, the sound thin and hollow. “No.” The word cracked like a whip.

“Whatever you’re doing at ‘work’ tonight… hurry home. Both of you can fuck me senseless for all I care.” I snorted at my own joke, then immediately winced because yeah, that was a weird thing to say even alone. Little did I know how soon that joke was going to bite me right in the ass. And how much I was going to enjoy it when it did. [ You might be reading this wrong, but trust me, the real thrill is still ahead.^^]

she giggled at her own joke. Guila’s giggle rippled through the air, a moment of levity amidst the heavy atmosphere. Her joke, bizarre and unexpected, painted a vivid picture in my mind. I couldn’t help but smile at her words, the image she conjured absurdly amusing. It was as if, even in the darkest moments, she managed to find a glimmer of humor, a ray of light that pierced through the shadows.

My smile widened as I mindlessly took off my jacket setting it down on the leather seat. I clung to Dalton chatting with him as Enzo thought it was the time for the like of the day as he called it. It was one of those stupid habits that we had going on as kids and it kinda stuck with us and Enzo was the one with the shittiest and corniest jokes. I braced myself to hear one of his dad jokes, Dalton was holding in his laugh at the eager look on his brother's face already. "What do you call a joke without a punchline?"

“In the middle of a dark forest, a man and a woman have sex. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, ‘Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!’ The woman replies, ‘Me too. You’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!’” Then I burst into loud laughter. ********* “Stop it, Conan. For Christ’s sake.” I laughed frantically to get away from him. A chuckle broke out while he tickled my neck, armpits, and waist. “If you don’t stop being childish, I will surely kill you.” “Would you like me to tell you another joke?” “Oh, no!” I blurted out. “I’ll pee in my gown if you don’t stop your dirty jokes.”