Novel & Cerita Mengapa Kita Saling Menyiksa Diri

I slipped my arms around his neck and his hands rested on my hips. “You never have to apologize for that again, my love. If you didn’t do what you did, we wouldn’t have what we have. I am grateful you did it.” He nodded, but I knew it was going to be something he would carry with him for the rest of his life. My darling mate was his own worst enemy sometimes. He punished himself over things he thought were mistakes he made years ago and he never stopped punishing himself. I was slowly starting to see that same trait in Friedrich whenever he made a mistake and I wished there was something I could do to help them, but it was something they had to realize for themselves. I couldn’t change the w

Seraphina Imprisoned to the outcome that leads to more feelings. People make themselves immune to external stimulus, but I? I played with it until I broke myself. The stimulus could be anything, for instance; childhood trauma, abuse, sexual abuse, mental abuse or even ignorance. Isn't it sad? when you get hurt so much, you can finally say, 'I'm used to it.' But the question is, were people actually used to it? or were they just strong to cope up with it? certainly not, because no matter how much a person is strong enough to handle the pain, doesn't deserve it.

I reached for his hand slowly and he let me take it. I began cleaning slowly while he remained silent. “Why are you doing this to yourself?” I said, my voice soft. No response. I waited for a while before speaking. “This can’t keep happening, you know. If something is—” “Don’t speak!” He cut in roughly. I stayed quiet for a minute before starting slowly again. “Look at the house, your hand, you keep hurting yourself. Why do you punish yourself so much?” “Because it’s my fault!” He spat, pulling his hands away.

Those days I stay indoors and tied up with no food or water Those days I receive slaps for little mistakes Those days I have fear of insecurities The punishment I receive unnecessarily... Those pains, they kept hunting me each time .. Can I really forgive them?

Sometimes, I suspect she does it on purpose, just to see my reaction. “Or I’ll eat you out, drive you to the edge, but will not let you come.” “No…not that.” “Then stop hurting yourself.” “It is subconscious.” “Then make it conscious. “ “How do I do that?” “By practicing self-control and discipline so you never spiral out of what’s expected.”

, I responded to Dr Sturgis's question, “ I don't think I can, and maybe, I don't even want to. I feel like I've caused them both so much pain, and that I deserve to live the rest of my life making up for that by being unhappy. Each time I find amusement in something, the thought of not deserving happiness just….it just hits harder” “ Dante, yes, you did something bad, but it wasn't as if you were intentional about it, and even if you were, you have realized your mistakes. There is no need for you to keep being hard on yourself. You have to move on. You have tried apologizing, maybe try even harder, but there is absolutely no reason for you to punish yourself”, she said and I just sat there,

I don’t feel comfortable going back… I leaned against the door and thought about her words. I really did try to stop that curse. And I did my best not to hurt anyone. I- I have to forgive myself but that’s my biggest problem. I hold myself to such a high standard and I expect myself to be perfect. But then I make a mistake and I don’t let myself forget it or live it down… I sighed heavily as the thoughts ran at high speed through my head.

"Skipping meals, not sleeping—that's not healing, Jeremy. That's self-destruction." "I know. Dr. Chen says the same thing." A bitter smile. "She calls it 'maladaptive coping mechanisms.' I call it getting what I deserve." "Stop that." My voice came out sharper than I intended. "You don't get to martyr yourself. Don't get to slowly destroy yourself and call it penance." His eyes met mine, surprised by the vehemence in my tone. "I'm serious," I continued. "If we're going to do this—if we're going to try to heal and move forward—then you need to actually be here. Not some guilt-ridden shell who's punishing himself instead of doing the work."

"So the question is, why are we punished for overexerting ourselves for the greater good?" "Hmm..." Minseok pondered for a moment. "If the answer were so obvious, someone would have figured it out already. There's only one reason why, in all likelihood, and that's because we're human. We have feelings; we want love and acceptance and, most especially, rest. Just like anyone." I smiled awkwardly. "I guess you're right. Even I can't deny that much." My smile faded as a thought came to mind. "But didn't a writing say that we should fight to protect those who cannot fight for themselves?"

She saw her other self shake her head in disapproval. “ How much longer do you intend on hurting yourself? How much longer do you want to suffer like this? You know you love him so why are you punishing yourself like this? You are hurting the both of you. How selfish have you become?” “ I am not selfish!” “ Yes you are! Yelling at me won't change the fact that you are being very selfish. You are not being fair. Why don’t you just admit it, admit you love him!” “ How many times do I have to keep saying this! I do not love him, I don’t! I despise the word love and I won't love anymore, especially not that man.”