Monday Morning Funny

“You dare to think of another man in my presence?” The Alpha growled with a burning desire in his eyes. He glowered at Lavinia whose hands were tied. “What does that man have that I don’t? That filthy vampire, you think he’s going to save you?” His hands ran through her bare skin, sending shivers to her spine. “Please, leave me alone,” Lavinia begged in desperation. Tears welled up in her eyes. “Then be mine, Lavinia.” He leaned closer to her. His breath fanned her face. “I’ll make you the happiest woman alive.” Lavinia shook her head. She pursed her lips while watching the man in front of her. He may be a great man with power but her heart longed for someone else. “No. You’re not him… You’re not Sebastian.” "We had an unspoken deal: He gave me warmth, colors, and lies. In return, he asked for my blood when he's thirsty, my body when he's cold and my heart when he's bored. The funny part is, I still think it's quite a bargain." - Lavinia de Llava

Book two of the Alpha's Phoenix mate! Melissa is a simple illiterate human village girl who dreams of going to school and becoming an architectural designer but her dreams get shattered when she is forced to marry a man five times her age. She finds a way to get out of the marriage and with the help of Kaira, goes to a different country where she meets Dean. Dean is the alpha of Black phantom pack who's been waiting to find his mate but after finally finding her, he gets shattered when he realises that she not only is an innocent little girl but also a human who isn't interested in love

Alpha Kane imprisons Amy in his dungeon to soften her up for questioning after her brother, Jake, abducts his sister, Lisa. But she proves stubborn and he enslaves her, hoping this will make her more compliant. Kane is attracted to the dark-haired she-wolf from a rival pack, recently absorbed by his own, even though he has found his Luna and mate, Selene. But Amy is not what she seems, and the Alpha also has a hidden agenda. Working together to right a centuries old wrong, the pair begin to question everything they have been taught to believe. Will pack hierarchy ever be the same again?

Listen up, everyone!" I yelled to gain everyone's attention "Your trainer Antony, is going to be gone for the foreseeable future. YOU lucky ladies have the pleasure to be trained by me. Antony is a nursery teacher compared to the hell you will soon be facing by me" I stated authoritatively. "Little girl I have morning shits bigger than you" yelled a testosterone-induced jokester from the back causing snickers to erupt throughout the crowd. "Then I'd suggest eating more greens and lessening up on protein and testosterone. You do know that shit causes your willy to shrink up and fall off right" I retorted. I watched the man turn purple with rage before charging towards the stage. Immediately taking a side stance I prepare to take on the idiot Alpha 'gracefully'.  Kicking off the stage I performed my perfect Tornado barrel kick to the dumbass's head. Connecting with a loud crack and landing gracefully on my feet bowing to my audience of alphas, knowing full well that alpha is not getting up for a while. "Any more volunteers?" I said smugly. "Nope, alrighty then. So, going forward I am not someone to mess with. I do not take lightly to those who challenge me and I do not respond to assholes who think little ladies belong barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. If you have those prejudices, I am more than willing to knock those thoughts clear from your head. And for jackasses like this one, off your head. Do I make myself clear?" Gabriella's family was cursed as she puts it. She cannot be commanded by any Alpha and for that, she cannot belong to any pack. From an early age, her father and 6 older brothers taught her how to fight, and turned trainer. Until she finds her Mate!

"Remember the most important rule, don't get caught." *** I try to keep my expression neutral and give nothing away in my eyes, Eli is a smart man, smarter than he lets on and will know if something is different about me, "Everyone change, Eli, you definitely aren't the man you were when we first met, but the question is if the change is for the better or the worse." His hand reaches over the table and take mine in the gloves and though there is a barrier between our hands his touch is felt and the reaction sent to the rest of my body. "I love you, Anna and that's not going to change, but I have to admit that I like this side of you more. However, I am contented with whatever I get as long as I get to have you." These words are the words any woman wants to hear their man tell them and it is almost perfect to my ears... almost because I am not Anna...

Willa has been running for as long as she could remember along side her twin brother, West and her mother. Their Mother has always told them that a someone is after them. Life was difficult since their mother trained them to be ready for anything, even her death. Two years after their mom died, the twins luck has finally run out and they are captured but they are shocked to discover that it's their own father and brothers they've been running from. Now reunited, will the twins finally find happiness and family or will they end up being destroyed by their family's dark secret? With everyone hiding secrets, what is the truth? What is safe? The twins have only ever believed in their motto, Chaos not cash, maim not murder and each other. Can they trust anyone else and more importantly, should they?

"I had a husband before I had a boyfriend!" Autumn blurted out, while the other two girls stared at her, wondering what she was talking about."Did a random guy propose to you?" Ella asked her with raised eyebrows."The man I met the last time we had a night out, uh? We had a good night and all that, and when we woke up the next morning, guess what I saw?" She didn't wait for them to guess before she said it herself. "A signed marriage certificate between both of us!" She exclaimed.You must be joking!" Ella exclaimed in shock.How in the world did that even happen?!

***Updates are now on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.*** Everything you thought you knew was a lie. The vampire king, Vladimir Sedof, was on top of the world once upon a time. He had his beloved by his side and the vampires following his every dictate. Then one sunny morning, it all goes to hell. He wakes up twenty odd years later to find most of his magic stolen and his beloved murdered. Hell bent on getting revenge on those who left him for dead, he acquires a pawn in the form of Josie Braille. She turns out to be too powerful and not all that useful. Josie Braille just wanted to set her father free. What she gets instead is a world filled with magic, lies and schemes older than she had been alive. In this world where foes and friends wear the same face, she must choose a side and fight for her love. But to do that, she must decide who she loves. Grayson Callahan is a hunter stuck between the rock and a hard place. He has to choose between doing his duty and saving the world from a vampire on the warpath, or saying fuck it and choosing his love. Three lives on a collision course, whose resolution will reign supreme? What they do find in the end is that this was someone else's game entirely and they were all pawns from the very beginning. But when the chips are down and the fate of their existence and everyone they held dear on their shoulders, will Josie’s love win, or will the vampire king sacrifice them all to get his justice? *This book ends on a HFN

On the day of our marriage registration, Henry Davis’s first love returned.For her sake, he left me at the city hall.He said it was dangerous at night, so he brought his first love back to our new house.I, who was forced to leave, however, encountered a violent criminal.After narrowly escaping death, I finally made up my mind to leave him.But he cried and begged me to stay.I found it ridiculously funny and said, "Do you think I can accept a jerk like you who has no principles?"

"What about her?" Andre asked."Who?" I asked he motioned to a group of women specifically the one sitting down, I couldnt really see her because of the dim lights and the group of friends she had around her."No,""Why not?" Jason asked I took another sip before saying."She is sitting with her friends,""And?" Andre asked."Her friends are drunk,""And?" Jason asked confused."She is the only one with a beer and look at how she continuously checks her phone every five second,""And?""The beer isn't strong which means she is the designated driver her friends are drunk which means she has to leave soon, and the phone just shows that she would rather be anywhere but here, like she has much more important things to do. Which let's me know she probably won't give me the time of day because I'm not the most important thing in her life right now,""She is the one, she is the one you got to date"