My Guilt Will Not Purify Me Novels & Stories

Every thought I had allowed to creep in and take root. I pulled the plug on the bath and stood up, grabbing a towel and wrapping it tight around my body. The water drained slowly, swirling away, but the guilt stayed. Heavy. Thick. Impossible to wash off.

Chapter Eleven- Under The Table Sins part five To me those eyes were not communicating anger, but were imprinting on my skin the unspeakable pleasures he wanted to introduce to me and sate his lust. ~♧~• Guilt. Guilt is corrosive and gnaws away at the mind but is the fuel that keeps conscience burning and alive. The ability to feel guilty was debilitating and frittering for me, to the point that I felt like the most awful, horrid, worthless, ungrateful piece of trash in the world as I gazed at my oddly calm, stoic mother.

His touch was a balm to my troubled soul, offering a fleeting moment of solace in the storm of my guilt. I looked up straight at him and said, “How can you say that it wasn't my fault?” My voice quivered with the weight of my self-blame, a burden too heavy to bear alone. “It is my fault!!” The words spilled out with a raw intensity, revealing the deep-seated self-condemnation that had been gnawing at my core.

To heal completely, she needed him, and he couldn’t continue being selfish by wallowing in self pity any longer. Meditate. Breathe in, breathe out. Become one with the earth, the sky, and the heavens. Release. Let go of the guilt, the anger, and the doubt. Accept fate. Breathe deep the purifying elements. Feel the earth’s energy rejuvenate and resuscitate all that has been lost. Let go the guilt.

But it was really out of my control, like so much about my life that day; it seemed like no matter what I did, things kept going wrong. After our one round earlier, he told me I could cleanse myself of him, and there he lay in the bed; lost in thoughts only known to the gods. I left him to his own devices as all I wanted was a reprieve from this burdensome affair. As much as I had tried to deny it, I was being weighed down with guilt and shame. My heart felt like lead, my mind raced like a wild horse. How could I have gotten myself caught up in such a unescapable situation? “Darling, I want you to come out there.”

The sun shone down in its ferocity, escaping through the slit of the window, and it scorched my skin with a vengeance. Yet, I refused to shield myself from it. It was welcomed to consume me, burn me even, because there was someone else that wouldn’t be able to witness it. Guilt settled on my chest like a weighted blanket, pressing down on me so much that every drag of air into my lungs felt like labor. Tears prickled at my eyelid, one blink from falling, but my body had been rendered useless, my muscles frozen from the guilt and pain. I miss him. “How can I move on?” I whispered to no one, my voice hollow and lifeless.

Logan Pov There’s something unsettling about watching your sins try to clean themselves. I thought the night she saved me would be the end of this. That once I choked on my own pride and she walked out with her dignity intact, I’d step away. Leave the whole damn mess alone. Let the universe balance itself. But I’m not wired that way. And guilt, I’ve learned, is a stubborn thing. It doesn’t go away with silence. It festers. So I do what I do best.

And Gabe has always hated cages. But he believes he ruins everything he touches. And she is the one pure thing in this town that has caught his attention. Is he worthy of saving her or is he going to end up ruining her? Could be both! GRACE’S POV Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. The words echo in my head the way they do in the confessional booths, hushed, trembling, soaked in guilt. Except this time there’s no wooden screen between me and my sin tonight. No shadowed priest waiting to assign penance.

I answer her. Violet narrows her eyes, giving me a fierce look. “ I don’t want to lie to you, Violet. ” A whisper escapes my lips. Her shoulders loosen up visibly, but her eyes remain narrowed down. “ Okay. ” She nods her head again. I relax back in the chair, my throat closing up due to the heavy guilt beginning to claim my mind once more. It’s a shady feeling — this guilt — this guilt that never leaves me even when I sleep. But, that doesn’t mean I will turn to a softie and give up on everything. I have lost everything trying to make things right and there is nothing which can stop me — not even my own feelings or my mate who is sitting in front of me.