Parody Jingle Bells Novels & Stories

Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Beau's phone started to ring and he (Beau) took his (Beau's) phone out of his (Beau's) pocket seeing Carls calling him (Beau). Beau said, "Oh look who's calling, Carls," and answered the phone saying, "Yes." Carls said, "She's screaming again Master Beau, she just needs you." Beau put his phone on speaker, stared at his (Beau's) father, and said, "Put me on speaker." Carls put Beau on speaker and Beau and Nathaniel heard Marigold screaming. She screamed, "Beau, Beau, Beau, Beau, Beau." Beau said, "Marigold it's okay, I'm here, please calm down." Marigold began calming down saying, "B-Beau, B-Beau, Beau, Beau," and Beau said, "It's okay, please Marigold I'm here.

Music tinkled from within, a playful, bouncy melody that promised laughter and mischief. Jaden’s face lit up as soon as he entered. “Look! They have props!” He ran ahead, grabbing a small hat with oversized flowers and plopping it onto his head. His grin stretched ear to ear. Juliet picked up a tiny feather boa, draping it over her shoulders like a princess. Her laughter was soft and musical, rising and falling like the tide. “Mommy, you should wear this!” Jaden called, holding out a pair of giant glasses. “You’ll look funny!”

He handed it to Lacey. “For me? Well, this is a surprise,” Lacey said as she took it. “Everyone, look what I found outside,” Grandmother Phillipa said from the doorway. Everyone turned to see about ten people standing behind her. “Carolers,” his grandmother stated. The carolers started singing Jingle Bells. Everyone turned their attention to the carolers as St. Nick stood up straight. Lacey took a few steps toward the singers. Brad approached her as he put his arm around her shoulders, making sure she kept facing the carolers. “Lacey, open your gift. You got the perfect soundtrack for it.”

Poor Gideon with his witch metabolism is a little better than a human in these situations. Which is why he is on the floor in my living room sleeping it off under the card table. Barry and I just got drunk enough to make him want to stay in the spare bedroom. And while all of this explains the headache, none of this explains why my ears are not just ringing, but ringing in a rhythm. “Ring-a-ling…hear them ring…” The bells are ringing in harmony. With a Christmas song. Only one person I know would be that damn annoying just for fun.

Not to mention lethal. “Did you know ‘Jingle Bells’ was originally written for Thanksgiving?” he countered. “Impossible.” She made a shocked face, her jaw slacking. He laughed. She poked him with the tip of the record she held. “The British Navy uses Britney Spears’ songs to scare off Somali pirates. I shit you not.” They were playing like this now? “The piano Freddie Mercury plays in ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ is the same one Paul McCartney plays in ‘Hey, Elvie’,” he countered, leaning into her face and flicking her little nose. “Hey, Elvie.”

Madeline's voice sounded a little rushed. "I think I've had too much to drink," I slurred, faking it. "When are you coming back?" "Soon, just give me… fifteen more minutes," her voice was muffled, like she was trying to hold something back. Then I heard it. A man's low, teasing laugh. And the soft, metallic jingle of something—jingle, jingle—like the little bells on a piece of lingerie or a sex toy. "Madeline? Where are you?" I kept my voice laced with concern.

Phoebe cleared her throat and took Bella's hand, "Didn't you learn a song on TV yesterday? You said it was nice. Sing it for Grandma quickly." Under Phoebe's eager gaze, Bella bit her lip and sang "Little Bunny Good Good" with a forced smile. Anita had been looking forward to Bella's performance, but was disappointed by the song choice. This was a song that many children around two years old could sing, and it didn't seem like a new song at all.

A bead the size of a lie drops from the cufflink and kisses the carpet. “Bell,” Adrian says, hand already reaching for the jar at my hip. “Primary, secondary, tertiary,” I mutter, because Olive earned the right to hear me say it in the wild. My knife is in my palm and I cut through air, not thread, cut the want, and the bell falters mid-trick like a story forgetting its ending. Adrian flicks it up, glass mouth open and the bell drops into vinegar and shrieks like a teakettle while Becky’s earrings ring sympathetically in the lobby and she cackles.

“Dong. Dong. Dong. It’s doing my head in.” Sally raised her face upward, a slight frown on her features. She lowered her head and looked at Claire as if she were seeing her for the first time. “I can’t hear anything, hon. I hate to tell you this, but the realtor said the bell hasn’t worked for more than fifty years, maybe longer. It would have been a deal killer for Jeff. It’s missing the metal clapper that makes the noise. It can’t ring.”

Jingle bell was meowing loudly because the little baby girl of Nicholas has trapped her under her blanket because she wanted to play with her. Jingle bell wanted to be free because she was getting suffocated; the baby girl was almost sitting above her. Nicholas was in the kitchen making some baby food for her.