I made myself a little reference sheet for this. Found a ton in my old copy, which is a mass-market paperback from the late '90s, so page numbers might be off for other editions, but they’re the real gut-punchers.
Johnny’s line, “I can’t take much more. I’ll kill myself or something.” That’s on page 51 in mine. It’s just this quiet, devastating admission when he’s talking to Ponyboy in the lot. The rawness of it, how matter-of-fact he is, gets me every time.
Then of course, the big one from the hospital: “Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold…” It’s on page 178. The weight of it is insane because he’s telling Pony to hold onto that innocence, that good, that he feels like he lost himself. I sometimes see that quote on its own and think it sounds almost hopeful, but in context, it’s so heavy and final. He’s giving up his own chance at it.
A less quoted one that sticks with me is right before the fire. He says, “We ain’t crybabies.” I think it’s on page 95. It’s this tiny moment of defiance and pride, trying to convince himself as much as Pony, right before everything changes.