Printable Funny Bathroom Signs Novels & Stories

“Our dorm shares one bathroom.” “One bathroom?” I frowned. “how many dudes?” He gave me a wicked grin. “Oh, honey. You’ll see.” The door slid open And holy hell. Steam filled the massive bathroom. Dozens of naked guys were everywhere under showerheads, at the sinks, lounging on the benches. Some were wiping water off their abs like a slow ad commercial. Some were brushing their teeth like they had trauma. And some… Some were a little too close under the same shower stream.

"Having fun?" "So much fun," I said, and my voice sounded strange even to my own ears. "We're heading out, but I wanted to say-" A sudden pressure hit my lower abdomen and I gasped. Oh no. "Actually, I need to use the bathroom first. Where is it?" Lolita pointed toward the back. "Down the hall to your left, but I think they’re doing-“ I was already moving, desperation making me rude. I hurried down the narrow hallway, only to find a bright yellow "CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE" sign plastered across the bathroom door.

She will blame me again, like the usual thing. I entered the bathroom and immediately looked around the place. It’s big and cozy. It is also clean. I looked at the cabinet on one side and opened it. There are new clothes that I can use. Even the undergarments are also completely sealed, new, and unused. Unlike the bedroom theme, the bathroom is purple, pink, and white. There are different types of shampoo, conditioner, and body soap that can be used. There are also towels of the same color as the theme, which are carefully folded and layered in a row. Even the smell inside is also fragrant and smells like lavender.

I whooshed out a breath and moved with confidence, hiding from the view of passers-by before twisting the knob of danger zone. It was the female’s bathroom; men were restricted, the sign board gawked at me: ‘Females only. Men are liable to penalties.’ F**k rules, I adjusted my glasses again, pointed out a middle finger before entering the door, and swept for any passers-by before clicking it shut. Show time!

With a long sigh , l got back on my feet and looked around at all the signs in search of a bathroom. Although there was a language barrier, the universal sign for the bathrooms didn't change. I didn't have to worry so much since the signs came from English. Everywhere l did walk , people cleared their way probably from my stench. I had all the urine and semen on me. I lowered my head and quickly walked in the bathroom ignoring everyone like they ignored me.

Quick access. "May I use your bathroom while I wait?" I inquired. He gave a confirming nod, indicating towards the left. I grinned as I strolled around the desk and made my way down the worn-out hallway. The bathroom was located four doors down, with a slightly askew sign that seemed to be barely holding on by a single screw.

I tried to bring to his notice that I would be visiting the bathroom to wash the drink off me but since he was clearly still mad at me and paying no attention, I decided to go on my own as I located the bathroom with the help of the signs. On getting there, I locked the door shut and went back to the sink to wash the stain on me even though I had no idea on how I would do it so I ended up staring at myself in the mirror as I admired my reflection. "You don't need to check a mirror, you're already so beautiful " a masculine voice came out from the bathroom as one of the toilet door was opened. I thought I might have entered the wrong bathroom but on looking at the sign it clearly said female

The third was just a drawing of a very long penis with a smiley face at the tip. When I saw the pregnant message, I tossed the stick away like it was on fire. And because my life was just so awesome, it landed with a nice plinking noise in the toilet bowl. “Are you done yet?” a man’s voice called through the door. “Are you dead?” “I have diarrhea!” I yelled. “You don’t want to use this one!” “It’s the only one in the store, lady!”

Both of them were getting ready for showering. Yet, they had to wait based on the amount of bathrooms provided. In the middle of their waiting, the sudden announcement was heard through the sound system, "Attention to the all gym visitors, We'd like to inform you about the disfunctioning of three female bathrooms in the sections. We're sorry if it is very inconvenient. In order to fix the problems, the famales attempt to take a shower may use the bathrooms in male sections. Don't worry, there will be our security check on all of you and make sure there is nothing wrong happening. Thank you for your understandings."

My usual bartending job is a dive compared to this place, and not just because I have made double what I would typically make in tips. The hallway is bordering on opulent, with chandeliers hanging from above and navy wallpaper that just screams money. Every door I have passed in my search for a toilet has had a gold handle—and I think they're actual gold. I wince, doing a little shuffle as I pry open the next door and find another bedroom, my bladder’s insistence interrupting my admiration again. I spot the tub through the open door and chew my lower lip for a moment of contemplation. My bladder threatens me one more time, and I know there's no chance of me making it to the actual bathroom.