Printable Funny Bathroom Signs Novels & Stories

She could only tell who was who by their voices and their hairstyles. “Excuse me?” Irene spoke out in shock. One of the triplets pointed at the top of the exit door, and there she could see the boldly written “Men’s Room” in gold the boldly written "Men's Room" in gold. She felt embarrassed, as she couldn’t believe that in her haste, she didn’t bother to take a look at the door. It was written both inside the restroom and outside at the top, but she failed to see it.

He smiled and locked the bathroom door. _____________________________

There was a huge framed photo of me, one Chase had taken at the aquarium that day, blown up and propped up like a centerpiece. Around it were words. Positive affirmations written out, framed, some written on balloons. My eyes started filling with tears before I finished reading all of them. Then I turned to the other side and burst out laughing. Ruben's name was printed in large bold letters. No picture, just his name, and underneath it was a list of all the awful things he was, titled The Jackass Ex. Chase had not held back. Not even a little. There were balloons too. Clusters of them tied around the space with a small handwritten sign that read: Pop one. Cuss him out.

With a long sigh , l got back on my feet and looked around at all the signs in search of a bathroom. Although there was a language barrier, the universal sign for the bathrooms didn't change. I didn't have to worry so much since the signs came from English. Everywhere l did walk , people cleared their way probably from my stench. I had all the urine and semen on me. I lowered my head and quickly walked in the bathroom ignoring everyone like they ignored me.

“I needed to throw up again.” His eyes narrow. He tilts his head slightly, then points toward the restroom behind me. “There?” he asks. “Yeah,” I reply, keeping my voice weak, my shoulders slightly hunched. He lifts his hand and points directly to a portable folding sign standing right in front of the door. “Then what is that?” he asks. I follow his finger, trying to see what he’s pointing at. Caution: Wet Floor. For a split second, everything inside me freezes.

I ignored it and pushed to my feet anyway. The bathroom was through the second door. Of course it was gorgeous. White marble, a shower big enough to host a small party, a freestanding tub, double sinks with backlit mirrors. A row of identical black bottles lined one side. I picked one up. Custom labels. CASSANDRA HUNTINGTON – Signature Scent

If I could have thrown my ass out the window and pooped out there, I would have, but there were no windows that opened in the bathroom. Fighting a losing battle to hold it in, I finally gave up and let the gates of hell open. It felt incredible, but the stench hit me straight away. I knew that no one’s crap smelled like roses, but it was a whole lot better than the rancid dead-carcass smell that was currently wafting out of my ass. Just kill me now, I thought while looking around the room for some air freshener. Oh my God, how could he not have any air freshener in this swanky place? The only thing I spotted was some Lynx and some Joop. Oh well, it’s better than nothing. I finished up and wi

Upon going out of the hall, they both released a relieved sigh, making them giggle. "It was so boring inside. I might fall asleep if I stay longer" giggling, Lissie whispers while they closely walk towards the restroom. "Me too" she giggles. But they both halted after seeing the sign outside of the restroom. It's out of service. "I'm sorry, Madame. The restroom is unavailable at the moment. Please use the restroom across the hallway" a hotel staff apologized and gestured for the way that he suggested. Sharing a look, they shrug and turn on the way towards the other restroom.

And my heart clenches at the though if ever they weren’t allowed. “We’re here, miss,” the butler suddenly announces right after we take another turn right, and at the end of the hallway as, two rose-gold colored doors with toilet signage. One for male and one for female. “Thank you,” I didn’t wait for him to respond. I helped myself inside the door. My attention immediately went to the nearest open cubicle. Rushing in and took the underwear thing Micah made me wear, and dumped all my liquid waste into the bowl, moaning in relief as I emptied my bladder.

A shower placed above the bathtub with two buttons to turn on/off the hot and cold water. There was a rug in the bathroom that had a "Get lost" boldly designed on it. The wash-hand basins (since there were about four of them for no good reason) and the toilet seater as well as the bathtub were blue-coloured ceramics. The bathroom had extra professional and classy features. In all, it was so beautiful. I washed and dried myself with a towel then dressed up.