Random Funny Things To Say Novels & Stories

Dante Valieri, the most sought-after mafia lawyer in New York, had just signed his own name on my divorce papers. But he had no idea. Because while he was signing them, his eyes never left Camille. The second Camille walked in, Dante had already looked up. He watched her disappear into the lounge before finally turning back to me. “What did I just sign?” “Nothing important. You never really look at the things I hand you anyway.” He started toward the lounge. “Next time, just send it to my phone. Don’t make a special trip.” As he closed the door behind him, I heard him say to Camille— “You came so early. I was worried I’d miss you.” And just like that, I was shut out on the other side of the door. You won’t miss anything anymore, Dante. In ten days, I’ll be going home. After that, no one will interrupt the two of you ever again.

Trace a.k.a The Orgy King. The Panty Ripper. His sworn brother called him funny names but he knows what he is. A spawn by Satan. Born to be his father's trouble. He fuck around like a rabbit. Party here and there. But his fave sport will always involve dark and bad. A walking sin. Trace will soon realize that karma really is a bitch*. Organization. Friendship. Brotherhood. Trace Dimagiba might be the most hateful man in FOEDUS CORP., but he’ll soon realize that even the devil himself deserves redemption. In the form of the feisty and beautiful woman who sauntered into his life– Chloe. His light and his end game.

I had become the Luna of the pack. Mom called it a blessing. She said I'd married up, and that I should bring my sister, Ruby, into the same circles. Ruby was already scheming for a noble match. That was the whole point of her come-of-age celebration. I hated all the schemes. And the lilies on the table made it hard to breathe. My throat began to swell. My chest tightened. I realized I was allergic But I couldn't rest. "Bring Ruby around. Say hello to the wealthy families. You're the Luna. They'll treat you with respect," Mom said. I stayed. The wine she handed me made things worse. And my pampered sister, out of jealousy, forced an handful of allergy medicine down my throat. It was the kind forbidden for pregnant women. And I was six months carrying a wolf pup. In tearing, gut-wrenching pain, my pup left me. Mom cried again and again, begging for forgiveness. I pulled my hand away. Whatever love I had for her was gone.

On the day my internship officially turned into a full-time job, I used the black card my dad gave me to buy a bicycle. The moment Karen Kosner—the office's self-appointed queen of frugality—found out, her face went dark. "Two hundred thousand on a crappy bike? You're not afraid karma's gonna strike you dead for throwing money away like that?" The veins in her forehead bulged, her expression twisted with rage. "What's the point of this useless thing? You can't eat it. A bus pass would've made way more sense. My brother's out there busting his hump for every hard-earned dollar, and you're spending like water. Keep this up, you'll make him jump off a roof." My face dropped. I rubbed the sore spot on my forehead where she'd jabbed me. "Are you out of your mind? I'm spending my own family's money. What the hell does that have to do with your brother or your family?" Karen kept muttering under her breath, but I wasn't about to stand there listening to her crap. I turned and went to get some water. When I came back, the black card in my bag was gone. She leaned toward me, still playing the part of the vicious future sister-in-law. "Who knows which random guy gave you that card. Trashy. I threw it away, so get real and live right with my brother. "From now on, every penny you spend has to go through me. You buy something only if I say yes. I need to break you of this reckless spending habit." My temples throbbed with anger. Fine. So she thought she was some kind of financial genius, did she? We'd settle this nice and slow—once she lost her job and got blacklisted by the entire industry.

I was a streamer famous for doing random, unhinged stuff online. And now the richest woman in Bayford wanted me to seduce her son. "Make my son fall for you. I'll give you ten properties. Houses, apartments, condos." For a second, even I thought, 'Okay, this is insane.' Marianne Jensen looked at me like I was her last hope. "Please. I'm out of options. Ever since he was little, I kept pretty girls around him. When he got older, I introduced him to every type of girl possible. But he's thirty now and has never dated anyone." Then she lowered her voice. "I think something's wrong with him. Like those billionaire guys in drama shorts. Maybe he only likes weird girls from the bad side of town." I just stared at her. Wow. Appreciate that. 'Did I just meet a crazy person?' I was about to say no when she shoved ten property deeds and a photo across the table. "Go seduce my son. If you pull it off, the ten properties are yours." I looked at the deeds, then the photo, and instantly decided to help this desperate but incredible mother. Forget something being wrong with him. Even if he liked men, I'd still make him fall for me. Thanks to Marianne pulling strings behind the scenes, I became the personal assistant to Jace Jensen, Bayford's golden boy. And the first thing he said when he saw me was, "How much did my mom pay you? I'll double it. Now get out." Two months later, the job was over, but Jace stood there with red eyes, crying. "How could you use me and throw me away? I don't care. You're taking responsibility for this."

…”Damn it, Klein! Am I a fool to you? You were with a woman last night! You were drunk! Both of you went to the hotel together. And now you stand there and tell me “something” came up! Is it normal for you, a married man, to go to a hotel with other women?” “How did you know?” “Is that all you have to say?” I looked at him disbelievingly. How can someone say such a shameless thing with a straight face? “Well since you asked, I’m going to tell you. When I rang your phone last night, that bitch was the one who answered. She friggin answered it just to show me she was with you. And your photos with her in the hotel are all over the Internet! That’s how I found out about your affair!” I’m breathing heavily by the time I’m done talking. Klein is staring at me with an unreadable expression. He must be shocked to the core. “First of all, Jasmine is a friend of mine and I prefer you call her in a more respectful way. Second, I was drunk and she only sent me to the hotel. That’s all. I’ll handle the photos. It won’t affect yours or the Conglomerate’s reputation. ”… **********************************************. Klein only realized he had feelings for his wife, Eloise, when she finally got sick of playing the part of an understanding wife in their arranged marriage after his ex-girlfriend showed up. Now he wants to make things right with his wife but it’s probably too late because she already filed for a divorce and wants nothing to do with him anymore. Will he succeed in winning her back or will she find love in another man’s arms?

"Veronica is pregnant!", Mother said loudly I stopped dead in my tracks. The realization of that hit me suddenly like I was unaware of it before. "Your younger sister, Veronica is pregnant, Adele! She is", mother said again. I sucked in a very sharp breath, trying to keep myself in control and perfect order as I turned to face mother and spat those words out. "I am not getting married. I am not getting married to someone I do not know. No, that is not going to happen", I said very clearly this time and I saw a tear drop from my mother's right eye. "Do you not get it? You have no choice in this. You have no say in this!" "And I wonder why that is", I replied with gritted teeth as I glared at mother murderously. ----------------- Adele Woods; a despaired, pessimistic and brokenhearted lady found herself agreeing to an arranged matrimony after much persuasion and convincing talk from her parents, especially her mother. She had no say in it and that made her angry. Being a rebellious person, Adele refused to even take a look at her betrothed's picture. She had a thought on her mind. Her husband would want one thing from her; to procreate. And that is one of the things she would never do. But is it possible? When her husband is Christopher Marvin; a young, handsome man who would do no other thing than to make her laugh. He was the most flirtatious, lively, cheerful, and manly person she has ever met. He was definitely not what she imagined her husband to be like. Will Adele be able to pull herself out of her 'annoying' marriage? Or will she find herself changing because of a certain hot man?

“Hey little brother, wanna get married? Here are nine bucks, it’s on me!”Just like that, Cecelia Shayne gave herself away with nine bucks.Consequently…The random cutie she dragged off the street? He’s a poor good-for-nothing who needs her to tend to his every need.However, there’s nothing she can do.This is a husband she bought, and she needs to swallow this somehow.But… But…Why does his name seem to be the same as the owner of a certain conglomerate…?What?Asset transfer?Cecelia was shocked. “Why’re you giving me all this money?”William Sandler looked her dead in the eye, “Money’s yours, you’re mine!”

TLS #3 Blane Samuel A definition of a nice guy, a guy who always think about others first than himself. Since his break up with Lauren Hastington, he's a wreck. He thought he won't look at another woman but he was wrong. One day, a beautiful girl in red dress came to him caught his eyes. Camilla Medilton Beautiful model who always have positive thinking and live her life the fullest. With her beautiful face and body, every guy wants her until it made some of them take a bad step. Since she sense the bad situation, she took a random guy to be his boyfriend and apparently that guy is Blane Samuel.

Three years in a loveless marriage, whilst enduring disdain and hatred from her husband for being a barren, Dany witnessed him cheating on her with her best friend. And they were unbothered by her realization, turns out it was a deliberate plan all along manipulating her into signing off ownership of her father's company that she Inherited to him and putting her on an infertility tea so she doesn't conceive for him. Dany lost everything after the divorce, whilst drowning herself in her grief she had a one night stand with a random gigolo before fleeing the country, and she had Sextuplets for the gigolo after three years of barrenness. Unbeknownst to her the gigolo was a powerful billionaire Magnate Laurent Jade who loathes her so much.