Reading Meme Funny

My roommate sets me up. She deliberately forces me into a death-trap survival game. As I shut my eyes and wait for death to take me, I realize that the game's bosses can read my mind. "Look at the blood spurting from this baby doll's neck. It's like a fountain of pee." The baby doll is baffled. It's about to launch its ultimate move, but it falters. "Man, look at how this guy is still sweeping the streets when he's so old. Does he not have a pension?" The old man is about to swallow me whole, but he suddenly gets a heart attack. An ambulance takes him away. "Oh, so this is the amusement park's owner. Oh, dear god, he's handsome, albeit a little skinny. I can send him flying with a kick!" The handsome owner's expression darkens. He instantly takes off his shirt to reveal his washboard abs. "Do you still think I'm skinny?"

I'm the female protagonist of a spicy novel. One day, the system tosses me into an innocuous novel to be reformed. What a joke! I turn to the male protagonist. "Hi there. Want to make out?" He has me thrown behind bars and accuses me of molesting him. Much later, he does even naughtier things than the male protagonists in spicy novels do.

In a music competition show, my rival unexpectedly played the melody I had in my mind before I could. Shocked, I confronted her, asking why she plagiarized me. However, she turned the accusation against me and said, "You said I stole your work, but do you have any proof?" However, I was unable to provide any concrete evidence. Thus, I was labeled as a bully and a plagiarist, ultimately meeting a tragic end. Even in my final moments, I couldn't figure out how she managed to steal something from my mind. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself back on that same stage. Seeing that my rival was about to play her part, I stopped her and said, "This time, it's my turn to go first."

Death and war, two things that always chased Haley around. The last war tore up her family, forcing her to kill her sister to save the world. Knowing the rogues' plans too well, they won't stop until they find the imperial phoenix pack, a rare pack of shapeshifters who vanished long ago. Haley's sister was just like them, and she guessed her niece was the same. So, to avoid history from repeating itself, Haley gave away her niece to a human couple where she will have a normal life. Ten years went by, filled with peace, or that's what Haley thought. Behind her back, the rogues were plotting the upcoming war after they knew about the young shapeshifter. Haley watched the man who helped her during those ten years die because of her mistakes. The rogues killed him as they did with her parents. And when she needed help, only five alphas stood by her side. With an upcoming war and the destiny of the goddess pack in her hands, Haley had to wait for the alpha's son to take his title, not knowing he was her destined mate.

I was about to confess to my online chat partner in person when a barrage of comments suddenly flashed across my mind. [Don't bother. Jedediah is avoiding her right now. He's regretting ever mixing her up with someone else.] [It's all her fault for using a profile picture so similar to Georgia's. Otherwise, Jedediah wouldn't have gotten confused.] [It's annoying to think that when Jedediah lost a game, it was the supporting role, Monica, who comforted him. All those sweet words he said were meant for the female lead, Georgia.] [Jedediah is grossed out by it, too. Georgia only added him as a friend yesterday. It's so frustrating.] [Monica is a bane!] Dazed, I ran into Jedediah Merritt, who had just finished playing basketball. He quickly averted his gaze, but I moved around him, shoving the love letter into his roommate's hands. Online chat partner? I had more than one, sending my goodnight voice messages to several people every night.

When I joined my pregnant wife at her class reunion, I heard the thoughts of her male bestie. 'Once she kicks her bum husband to the curb, the money's all mine!' He was snuggling up to my wife, raising his glass in salutations with a perfect smile, but I still caught the flicker of disgust in his eyes. 'Stupid sow thinks I'm in love with her? Who would care about her if it weren't for her money?' He had no idea that Mary's family had gone bankrupt long ago, and her life of luxury now was all thanks to me!

I was reborn on the day my sister, Tilda Wright, and I had to pick our husbands. That was when I realized I could hear people’s thoughts. I heard Tilda say, [This time, I’m gonna make sure I grab the best husband first.] Then, just like that, she rushed over and took the sweet guy I had married in my last life, while I ended up with the abusive man who used to beat her every day. I laughed to myself. Did she really think the guy I married before was some perfect gentleman?

My parents and my younger sister, Mable Munroe, are diagnosed with severe illnesses one after another. As I stare at the astronomical sum of medical bills, I can only grit my teeth and deal with them by taking on ten part-time jobs in one go. After stirring awake from collapse caused by exhaustion, I realize that I can hear the thoughts of everyone around me. My mom, who's too busy coughing up blood, has something else going on in her mind. "This low-quality fake blood really is disgusting! Why isn't that stupid brat giving us her salary of the day? I need the money to buy new bags!" My dad, who's already crippled from his disease, thinks, "I'm about to get cramps from all the cripple-faking I have to do! Once Talia clears my debt, I'm going to get myself a nice proper massage for a few days straight!" Meanwhile, the weakened Mable has already cooked up a plot in her mind. "Hurry up and tell that broke boyfriend of mine to stay awake from me! I want Talia to break up with him on my behalf! That way, I'll be able to reel in my next boyfriend without any guilt!" As I stare at my family, I choose to not expose their lies. Instead, I retrieve all the money that I've planned on paying their "medical bills" with. Later on, I track down Mable's boyfriend, Kyle Hargrove. There, I can hear his thoughts echoing loudly in my mind. "Did Mable get her sister to send the message that she wants to dump me? I'll have her know that I'm the only son of the richest man in town! Mable and that family of hers shall live in regret for the rest of their lives!" A bold thought pops into my mind all of a sudden. I twist my ankle on the spot and use the opportunity to collapse right into Kyle's arms.

I always had a unique kind of mind-reading ability—I could hear the thoughts of people who didn't truly love me. On the night before my wedding, I suddenly heard my fiance's thoughts. 'If she shows up unexpectedly to disrupt the wedding tomorrow, will wearing leather shoes make it harder to escape?' I didn't say a word. The next day, without a second thought, I boarded a plane and left Chilia. In the end, that wedding, regarding a runaway bride and groom who never showed up, became the city's most infamous joke.

My husband, Don Cassian, just survived an assassination attempt. He limped in, bleeding, and ordered me to stitch him up. But when I reached into his blood-soaked suit, my fingers brushed against something soft. Black lace panties. Not mine. My hand flew to my still-flat stomach. For our child. How could he do this to us? Ice flooded my veins. “We’re done, Cassian.” His gaze was heavy, exhausted. He gave a single, sharp nod. “Fine. I’ll have my lawyer draft the papers.” But then, a frantic little voice—one that wasn't mine—screamed from deep within my womb. [Mom, don’t leave him! Dad didn’t cheat! The family isn’t going to fall. It’s a setup!] [Oriana Gallo planned all of this! She wants your place! She put those panties in his pocket herself!] [If you leave, her men will grab you. They’ll take you to an abandoned warehouse and dump your body in Lake Michigan. Then she’ll play the grieving friend, comfort Dad, and become the new Mrs. Marino!] [Mom, I came back to stop this! Please, don’t fall for it again!] I snapped back to the present. Spinning around, I launched myself into Cassian's arms, my body wracked with sobs. “I was just trying to scare you! How could you agree so easily? Are you that tired of me?” I jabbed a finger at his chest, tears streaming down my face.