Relationship Funny Boyfriend Memes Novels & Stories

He almost never texts me first, and in person he barely says a word. In three years together, he's never remembered a single anniversary, and he's never once suggested we celebrate a holiday. But the second I message him first, he lights up, all "baby" this and "baby" that, fussing over me, coaxing me to sleep. Sometimes I'd get this strange feeling that there were two different Noahs. His explanation was that he was just bad with words face-to-face, and that texting or voice notes felt like less pressure. I kept telling myself that being together meant meeting each other halfway. He was quiet and reserved, so I'd be the one to reach out. He forgot anniversaries, so I booked the restaurant and reminded him to keep the night free. He had no time to schedule our engagement shoot, so I handled the whole thing with the studio myself. He was too busy with work to help us move, so I packed everything alone, booked the movers, and got it all done. When I was so worn out I was about to break, I'd send him a voice note, and he'd say, "I'm so sorry, baby. The lab was insane today. I couldn't be there for you, and it kills me to watch you run yourself into the ground." Hearing how guilty he sounded, all my hurt just melted away. And that's how I carried three years of this relationship on my own, running on the flawless tenderness he only ever gave me online. Until today, when I found a program on his laptop called Boyfriend Assistant. It analyzed every message I sent and generated the perfect reply, the perfect response, every single time. Cold snap? It sent: Bundle up, baby. Time of the month? It pinged an API and auto-ordered hot chocolate to my door. All those late nights he spent "working," the gentle voice notes that lulled me to sleep, every one of them was synthesized in Noah's voice. For three years, the person who'd been there for me, day and night, was never Noah at all. For three years, I'd been performing a one-woman show.

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

"Three rules: Don't talk to me, Don't touch me, Stay out of my business." Hearing that from her supposed husband on their wedding night, Sasha White or rather Sasha Brown had to question herself about the meaning of marriage. Being married to the handsome billionaire, Michael Brown, Sasha couldn't explain her joy course as fate will have it, she had been crushing on him since their school days but couldn't pursue him due to the fact that it was know the whole school, that he is gay. ------------------------ Contains two books in the series.

Maisie Stone has known Ethan Ford for 15 years. She's gone from being a young woman to a married one. She's also gone from being Ethan's true love to an old flame. He cheats on her repeatedly, and she forgives him every time. After a suicide attempt, Maisie finally sees the light. This rotten world is just a competition to see who can be more shameless than others. In an open relationship, both parties live their own lives. Since he's messing around with her sister, she can mess around with his friends and brothers.

My life has always been like that of a prisoner. My father has always protected me from the outsiders not because he cared for me but because he is a mafia king of Eastern Italy and my virginity is the weapon which he would use to gain more pride. He feared that I might run away or worse would lose my virginity to some random guy, not from our world. He wanted me to be pure, because in our world no one marries a used girl. When a truce was signed between Eastern and Western Italy, I was offered to marry the would alpha of eastern Italy. I considered him different,thought he was unlike the other men in our world and will protect me from the bad. Something that was acceptable by me, was happening in my life for the first time when everything destroyed on my wedding night and now I don't have any emotions left in me and the only thing I want now is to seek revenge.

After taking our graduation photo, I break up with Philip Lutz. "You're doing this just because I stood behind Mandy and not you while we were taking our graduation photos?" he asks. "Yes," I merely reply. "Sure," he says with a smile. "You'd better not come crying to me or begging for us to get back together later." Having known each other for ten years and dated for four, Philip is certain that I'll never leave him. However, he's unaware that the graduation photos are just an excuse. If I'm capable of taking my graduation photos alone, I can walk my future path alone. Once I've gone abroad, the sky's the limit for me. I no longer need him to stand behind me either.

Cassie Baker, an ordinary girl, and dedicated nurse, Life takes an unexpected turn when destiny leads her to William, an intelligent and charming historian working at a nearby museum. Their newfound love blossoms, filling the void in Cassie's heart. Tragedy strikes when a home invasion claims William's life, leaving Cassie shattered. However, fate has other plans. Aided by her close-knit circle of friends and family, along with a ground-breaking secret government experiment, Cassie embarks on an extraordinary journey to bring her true love back. But as shadows creep closer, lurking threats seek to tear them apart once more. Will their love withstand the test of time? Only fate will tell in this gripping tale of romance and mystery.

Julie Greene hadn't had a boyfriend since she started college. The last time she was in a relationship, her heart was broken and it was hard to trust again. Having a best friend since childhood was a big advantage, she never really felt lonely. Kelsey had always been like a sister, they were almost always together. They were always there for each other, even when Julie had a bit of a fall out with Preston, her "other" best friend. That is until Kelsey had a new boyfriend that she met on her summer vacation.

Jordan Hayes never meant for one desperate lie to summon the devil himself. Disowned by his family for being gay, scraping by at a smoothie shop and dodging creeps at his night job, Jordan's life is already a nightmare. When a persistent harasser corners him, he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind: “He's my boyfriend.” The words summon Damien Voss—tall, lethal, and terrifyingly beautiful. The ruthless mafia heir doesn't just play along. He claims the title. Permanently. One fake boyfriend ploy becomes a dangerous game. Damien starts showing up everywhere: outside Jordan's apartment, waiting for his shift, calling him “boyfriend” with a smile that promises ruin. Every time Jordan tries to run, Damien pulls him closer—possessive, obsessive, and far too aware of Jordan's every fear, every scar. Jordan thought he was using a monster to scare off wolves. He was wrong. The monster wants to keep him. Now Damien has a plan: leverage Jordan to destroy his father's empire. And if Jordan fights back? Damien will break him. Or make him his—body, soul, and screams. In a city of neon and shadows, one lie binds them forever. Hi, boyfriend. Welcome to hell. Warning: 18+ Dark romance. Obsession, stalking, violence, power imbalance, trauma. Reader discretion strongly advised.