Novel & Cerita Ruin My Life Lyrics

"A mistake? You call ruining my life a mistake?" “You are the mistake ,you hear that David ,you are the biggest mistake of my entire life “ “i blame myself for being so fucking blinded before that I couldn't see it before but now I do and I feel like a complete idiot” “I can't believe I wasted so much time on it and a relationship that has been defined to fail from the beginning “ “I lost four years of my life on a piece of hit like you , I would have tether been in a can or a freaking wheel chair “

Inside was nothing but a photograph. Harlan sat on the doorstep of a rundown rental house. He wore a faded shirt that had been washed far too many times. In his hands was an old enamel mug. Behind him, the paint peeled from the walls. Beneath his feet, the concrete was cracked and uneven. He had grown so thin that I could barely recognize him. On the back of the photo was a block of shaky, uneven handwriting. "Dear Edward, the greatest blessing of my life was having your mother. The greatest sin, however, was betraying her. This house faces south and gets plenty of sunlight. I like to think she can feel its warmth, too."

I step into the live room, headphones on, mic adjusted to my height. The glass between us feels like old times and not. “Ready?” he asks through the talkback. “Always,” I say. “Liar,” he murmurs, but his eyes are soft. I start with something simple. A melody that’s been looping in my head since Palermo. A verse about disappearing. A chorus is about being seen too much and not at all. The words that follow are less kind. They’re about him. *You said you’d ruin me to save me,* I sing. *Signed my name without a sound…*

This life's go no escape, Go hard until I can't see straight, Sunlight burn in' my eyes, How the fuck am I still alive? (Oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa)

Feelin' good, I'm feelin' great Tired of the fuckin' hate Stackin' cheese all on my plate So outside of my misery, I think I'll find A way of envisioning a better life For the rest of us, the rest of us There's hope for the rest of us, the rest of us” She thought to herself how these lyrics were so related to her life,”Okay, she keep cryin', she keep cryin' every single night Day and night, on my mind, please don't kill the vibe Oh no, I swear to God, I be in my mind Swear I wanna die, yeah, when you cross my- Said I wanna die, yuh No, I'm not alright, yuh I might start a riot I'm so fuckin' tired, yuh”

Arms came around me as a loud sob rippled through me. It was not okay. I was not okay. Everything was falling apart and I was just hanging by a thread, a weak fucking thread, just fucking hoping and wishing that I was able to salvage whatever was left of my life. I was in Italy because I lost. I was in this underground house, with the people whom I dreaded being in their presence because I lost. Julia was dead because I lost. Losses. Losses. Fucking losses. That was the story of my life—I was always a loser.

I whispered, trying to gather the pieces of my ruined self. Damn.

I’ve ruined my life. Oh God, what have I done?

It felt like he was breaking, and that the words we realer, realer than just words. "Why?" I asked through tears. "Why do this? Why us?" "Because I can't not," he said. "I've tried a lot of times." My attention focused. "A lot of times?" "Then why fight it now?" I asked. "After last night? Why not just..." I trailed off. "Because I'm scared of ruining you," he said. "Of this destroying you. Of us destroying each other." "Too late," I said bitterly. "I'm already ruined."

It consumed everything, filled every corner of my mind until there was nothing else. I clutched my belly where the agony seemed to be centered and screamed once more, longer this time, the sound echoing off the walls. But my parents still lay lifeless on the floor and bed. Screaming didn't bring them back. Nothing would bring them back. My mum. My dad. They were both gone. Forever. Another scream built in my throat and this one was the longest yet. I kept screaming and screaming until my voice gave out completely, until my throat was raw and bleeding and no more sound would come.