Sarcastically Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

One vampire. One Vampire hunter. A forbidden bond. Isabelle Howell seems like your average everyday girl, but I'll let you in on a little secret. She's actually a Slayer and a very good one at that. She spends her nights tangling with the somewhat unsavoury supernaturals that roam the earth, feasting on innocents. Committed to her job and unknown hero to the average humans who walk around blissfully unaware. Isabelle is over the moon when she is given a high priority assignment, something she has waited for, for so long. The chance to prove she can handle herself, the chance to work her way up to the elite team and go on the really dangerous assignments. Her target, you ask? Cassius Lockwood. Powerful pureblood vampire. As handsome as he is cruel. The blood- fiend, well known for his merciless ways. His reputation doesn't put her off if anything she finds the challenge exciting. That is, however, until she has him (or who she thinks is him) cowering before her. At a time where she should be thrilled, it just isn’t right and what he says to her will haunt her for the rest of her days.

“It's only s*x, nothing else,” David whispered huskily as he walked around the desk and came to stand in front of her. “I don't want love, this marriage is only beneficial to both of us…nothing else,” she was clear with her intentions, and falling in love was out of the question. “I want to pleasure you, to make love to you every night…no strings attached,” he whispered as he cupped her face, this was dangerous. A man like David wasn't one to take lightly. . After a failed marriage and a successful divorce from a man she thought loved her. Samantha Morgan decided to live for herself while guarding her heart against falling in love again. However, her plans didn't go as expected when she lost her and her twin brother Charlie intervened in finding her a good at the company he worked at. Samantha's life turned upside down when she was tricked into an unknown marriage. A man who only knew how to chase skirts, a heartthrob with looks which pulled her in the first time she saw him and made her yearn for something forbidden. David Williams had no intentions of marrying or getting tied to a woman until the day he needed a wife to keep his Brother's fortune. It was only a deal of contract marriage, no strings attached. Only a deal to have with no emotions. But when hearts melt, passion ignites and feelings flow. The only way is to give in to the scalding pleasure, more irresistible than anything Sammy and Dave had ever felt. But when an ex-husband with determination shows up, true love is questioned.

We all have secrets revealed to us throughout our lives. Secrets that many have kept hidden from us. How bad can the secrets be when you have grown up knowing you were adopted? For one girl, it is nothing short of a movie when her past that she never knew existed comes back to haunt her. She never felt like she fitted in, and when her partner goes missing she goes on a mission to find him but stumbles across a world she has only seen in movies. With the fact she is faced to accept werewolves, witches and everything else that goes bump in the night exists, she is left even more shaken to find out she is a witch, the last of the strongest bloodline that were all murdered. Will her love for the werewolf be fate, or is it all produced by magic to stop the war that has raged between the three worlds for centuries.

“What do you think you are doing?” He asked with his eyes getting darker with every passing second. “S-Seducing you.” I mumbled while fidgeting my fingers as his deep breath made the sensitive spot between my legs to throb. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. It should be the other way round. “And who are you?” He asked as he lowered his head with his warm breath fanning my upper lip. I gulped as my body was visibly trembling. I wanted to run away but I couldn’t. His eyes had these magnets which were attracting every fiber inside my body towards him. “Y-your…y-your…” A lone tear escaped my eyes with my lower lip trembling. “My what?” He rasped as his black raven eyes were dwelling inside my emerald ones as I whimpered when he clenched my hairs in a fist at the back of my neck. “Your whore.” I admitted and he smashed his lips against mine. “Let me treat you like one then.” He growled inside my mouth.

Meet Essence and Kymoni two Big Beautiful Plus size women fresh out of highschool and straight into college life. They ate far away from their small town in South Carolina. But are they ready for everything this new world will throw and them. Let's find out. Join me on this new roller-coaster ride!

After Oliver felt the excruciating pain of his mate's death, almost killing him in the process, he left his pack to travel and clear his head. He never expected that he would come across the one person who had caused him so much pain, to begin with, alive and well. Seeing that his fated mate had marked another as her chosen mate had broken him. She had known that placing the mark on someone else without rejecting her fated mate, Oliver, first could kill him. Yet, she did it anyway. Lana had enough of controlling men. She had lived her life in fear of the next time her drunken husband would raise a hand to her or her daughter. After running away from her abusive home, she finds peace in a small cabin with her daughter. When an injured wolf shows up, her daughter convinces her to take care of the wild beast. Seeing him transform into a man in her kitchen was the last thing she expected… Can be read as a STAND-ALONE. Book 3 of The Alpha's Girl Series

"What am I to you? A trash picker?" I asked him sarcastically, looking at him from head to toe in disdain. "Lauren." he growled, clenching his fists tightly, glaring at me in disbelief. "Yeah, I know this is my name. You don't need to remind me, and please don't pop up in front of me like an unwanted ad in the middle of an interesting scene. You irritate me the most in this way." I scolded him, still with an ugly expression in disgust on my face. "So, now I disgust you, huh? Why didn't you disgust before when I." "Because I was a fool back then. I assumed a filthy rock as a gem and paid a heavy price for that." Before he could complete his sentence, I interrupted him, scolding him in a loud voice. His already widened angry eyes widened more in shock this time. I took a step forward while locking my gaze with him. "A scum like you who used me when he needed me and then slapped the divorce paper doesn't deserve even a glance from me, Gabriel. Never bother me again, or else what I will do to you, you can't even think about that." "Hey, babe. Why are you here?" I beamed when I heard his magnetic voice calling me from behind. I immediately moved towards him when Gabriel held my wrist. "You are making a mistake, Lauren," he warned me in a stiff voice. I yanked my hand from his grip and threw a disgusting gaze on him before walking towards the boy who treated me like a treasure. Gabriel’s devotion to his first love made me realize that loving myself is the only thing that can make me happy forever. I grabbed Vincent's arm with a beaming smile.

Harmonica Saint is terrified of being unable to make friends. Coupled with her crippling social anxiety, and her fear of moving away from her family to a new place for college, she is afraid she'd have no friends. But surprisingly on the first day, someone wants to be her friend…. It is just that this person is Rhett Lockhart, littered with tattoos and mysterious beyond compare, Harmony has a bad feeling about this friendship. After all, friends don't give other friends hickeys on their necks. Or do they? "So you thought our friendship was over because of that? Funny baby girl, what makes you think I'll let you go….. Just like that?" He said the words so gently as he always spoke, but it was his eyes that gave him away, those pitch-black eyes were raging with all kinds of intense emotion, each promising to swallow her whole.

To the outside world, Marvelon is just another college student. He even plays the role well enough to convince himself of this. Little did he know, the world depends on him to become the one thing he's scared of the most: himself. He can hardly keep his special abilities under control. And, to make matters worse, he now has to fend for a naive princess. He can sniff the disaster from a mile away. When Aqualia is plucked from her home and into a new world, she's forced to use the skill of adaptation. Funny enough, the new world and its inhabitants are intriguing. Not to mention its hidden treasure. Who would have thought she'd be craving things of this world? No one! When love comes knocking, they have no other choice but to answer. ️ Warning: This novel contains mature language and sexual contents

“Darlene Roberts, you're under arrest for the death of George Martins.”I look up with misty eyes only to see a bunch of cops, guns blazing and aimed at me. Funny enough, I don't even freeze neither do I panic. My attention goes back to my ex lover whose limp body is still warm with blood oozing from his forehead and chest. His shirt is torn and his big eyes are staring blankly at me. I've managed to help shut his mouth which was agape and his twisted lips. It seems he had put up one hell of a struggle before he gave up the ghost.“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in the court of law.Does the cop mean what he has just said? I mean, I'm not the murderer here. I rushed here to help as soon as I could!