Short Dirty Jokes

A Compilation of Rida's soul written short stories on first meet steamy one night stands . Delve Into the world of fantasy, desires, and unleash your sensual arousals with this take written just for your perusal.

At her friend's wedding, Amelia meets Maximiliano Miller, a mysterious man who tries to strike up a conversation with her. What Amelia least expected, was that days later, that man began to pursue and harass her. From appearances at her work, to having a chase with her in the middle of the street. It all came to an end when she mustered enough courage to confront him and ask him what he wanted from her. Amelia expected any answer, except Maximiliano proposing to be his fake wife. "It will be a short business of a few months, you will have a good remuneration; you only have to pretend to be my wife, you only have to pretend that we are a happy couple... then you will leave with your money and we will never see each other again". What started out as a particular business deal ended up making way for feelings that Amelia refused to feel. She knew it was just a deal that would soon be broken, she knew it was all a lie, she was afraid of falling in love with him... because in the end, she was just the fake wife of a millionaire who would never reciprocate her feelings... Or maybe he would? PIC BY: KATE BRANCH. THANKS, BEAUTIFUL!

"What happens when you meet a tall and handsome elf king who has saved your life but kill your temper?" ~*~*~*~ "I'm more of a man in this house. Why can't you let me be on top?" Sean asked with a pout. Oswin groaned, rolling his eyes and wondering just how much more innocent Sean could be. "It takes a heavy responsibility to be the top," he replied. "Responsibility? Then it's perfect. I'm making more money, cooking,..." "Sean. I'm talking about things like stretching and penetrating," Oswin explained as he ignored the bulge in his pants. "Do you even have experience?” “Then teach me, your majesty.” “With pleasure.” ~*~*~*~ It all starts when the elf king, Oswin Alvingham, mysteriously gets stuck in the human realm and loses his powers. As he roams the unfamiliar一dirty and low class if he is to describe Earth, he stumbles into Sean Cooper, a fresh graduate, and a full-time table-waiter, who gets bullied in the alley. Though Oswin's magical power is lost, his physical strength remains invincible. When he rescues Sean, the latter decides to take him in as gratitude. And that is where the mess begins. How can the king of the elf cope with his new life? How can Sean convince himself not to be evil enough to kick his savor out of his house? Most importantly, how do an average mortal and the noble upper-class immortal live together under the same roof and on the same bed? ~*~*~*~* P.S: 1) This book contains mature and explicit 18+ scenes. 2) It also contains little graphic violence in some chapters, but I'll put a warning on the top of those chapters. 3) The ELF here is inspired by Lord of The Ring Series. Therefore, they are tall, slender and beautiful. Not tiny little beings like in children fairy tales.]

“How Long Were You Going To Wait Before Telling Me?” He Demanded, His Voice Like Velvet Over Steel. She decided to try to bluff him out, then abruptly changed tack, choosing to attack him on his own terms. “I could ask you the same thing. How long were you going to wait before telling me you’d bought this building? I never stood a chance to buy out, did I?” “You would have known in good time, Blair. Now, it is not like you to be unwell, and I assume it can be due to only one thing. So, I will ask you again. How long were you going to wait before telling me you were pregnant?” “Until never!” “Wrong answer.” He covered the short distance between them in the blink of an eye. One arm curved around her back, holding her captive against his body. And darn it, her body responded instantly to his touch.

Due to my deceased father, the government decided I may have an inside to the fighting force we need to save humanity. They call him King of the Shadow Warriors. Shadow Warriors are elite fighters, who, after shifting form, have sharp claws and teeth capable of eviscerating a human without blinking an eye. If that isn’t a reason to run the other direction, I don’t know what is. The problem? We need the Shadow Warriors or we die. To gain their trust, I must impress King.My government sent me in a short dress and heels to do the job. They seem to think a sexy body will increase their chances of gaining his help. I took the assignment freely even though my feelings on the outcome offer no comfort.That brings me to the biggest problem in the entire scenario: King will eat me!Shifter King is created by Holly S Roberts/D’Elen McClain, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author

Two hearts united as one; fusion. "Do you Audrey Dexter, take Ace Zimmer to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to hold, in wealth and in penury, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?” “I do." She responded amidst smiles. "Do you Ace Zimmer, take Audrey Dexter to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to hold, in wealth and in penury, in sickness and in health, till...” “I do.” He rudely interrupted the priest before flashing an apologetic, unapologetic smile. He was not-so-subtly trying to skip to the end as soon as possible. “I pronounce you man and wife.” The priest smiled, mirroring Audrey’s. “You may...” “We’d rather not do that.” He cut him short once more as he whispered. Audrey’s smile faltered for a split second at his comment. It was then it began to dawn on her that she’d carelessly hopped into a dangerous marriage with the billionaire boss.

Jessiah is a make-up artist aspiring to break into the modeling and beauty industry. She moves to LA when she lands a job at one of the biggest production companies in Hollywood. On her first week on the job, she meets Jenson Ross, a big-deal actor with a murky past and a dark secret only a privileged few know about. × Genres: Romance, Werewolf, Crime EXCERPT [BOOK I of CALI ALPHAS ] _ _ _ "Dollface," he murmured with a little smirk. He snickered and caressed the back of her head, pulling her closer to his chest. "You're like an antidepressant, in human form." Her breath caught.  Her heart sped up when his hug tightened. His warm face pressed onto her neck, his strong hands lightly squeezing her hips. Moments like this only worsened her attraction to him.  The flirty jokes, the easy conversations, the small smiles, his furtive glances, and his unusually sweet gestures lately... She was in deep trouble. Was he kissing her neck?  Shit. He was no longer thinking straight.  About this. About her. About the consequences. He drew her closer when she tried to pull away. As if he didn't want her out of his sight. While his beard scraped her skin, his thighs touched hers. Her throat ached as he stared into her eyes. "Dammit," he sighed, his thumb tracing the curve of her neck, his touch both gentle and eager.  "Why are you so f-cking beautiful?"  "Joss, I need to g—" "Why now?" he murmured, stroking her cheek. He wasn't acting drunk or playing with her.  Not like this. He wouldn't. Not with her real feelings barely held together by some unspoken truths. Otherwise he wouldn't dare let it get this far.  But why wouldn't he let go? "Just stay. Please. Stay here with me." _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

❝Even angels have their demons.❞ An assistant in a billionaire company by day, waitress to a diner by evening and a masked pole dancer by night. Angelina Hemsworth is her name. A maiden with numerous personalities and a heartbreaker. Sylvester sellone, youngest billionaire in Voschester. He's your typical CEO with women falling at his feet. In one unfortunate incident he discovers his dearest assistant isn't so innocent. One thing led to another and suddenly, Dirty Angelina was her boss's exclusive dancer. But things didn't quite end there. Bad girl, bad girl, what are you gonna do when the billionaire wants you?

** This is book 2 in The alliance series. Each book can be read as a stand alone but the stories do follow on ** ** Book 1, Fire and Ice. Now available ** Blackrock Delta Damian Walker was stunned speechless to find his true mate as a captive of an abduction ring while searching for the packs new Luna. The blonde woman in tatty clothes and with dirty hair knotted on top her head was just about the most beautiful creature he had ever seen but the delicate woman was far from being defenseless and when her past comes back to bite her in the ass Damian will need to fight against his instinct to protect her. Can he subdue his Alpha nature long enough to hold onto the woman of his dreams or will holding on too tight be the thing that pushes her away.

“This fire could consume us both, ‘querida’.” Slowly, he kissed each knuckle of her hand, causing zings of pleasure to curl up and down her body. “Once I start kissing you, I might never stop. Ever!” A shudder of pleasure went through her at those words. Pleasure… Desire… Fear. “Come,” he said, “it’s late. It’s time for bed.” Have you ever wished you could start your life all over again? Spain… Marbella… a tall, dark, handsome man. This seemed the perfect start to a unique love story. And it was... for a while. The gorgeous heiress Calleigh decides to go to Spain for a short vacation. Once she arrived here, she fell under the spell of the powerful and breathtaking Spanish tycoon Gabriel De León in a hot-blooded encounter that took away her soul, heart, innocence… and memory. Gabriel looked everywhere for Calleigh Swanson and found her in a hospital, lost and lonely. Her betrayal left him angry and disappointed. So, what better way to punish the woman who nearly ruined him than to marry and destroy her body and soul? Only she's now carrying… his child.