Shower Thoughts Funny

'If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard' ~ Madame Chatterz Benley Macallister is on a downward spiral. Luck has never been on his side. Things go from bad to worse when the nineteen-year-old loses his job, his best friend, and the love of his life all in the same year. Feeling unfilled, Macallister turns to drink as a way to cope. Nonetheless, as luck would have it, another curveball is thrown his way, three years later, when a raven-haired girl accidentally enters his life, purposely refusing to leave it. MacAllister quickly finds his hands tied with the new addition. He's left with two options -- to either fight the oncoming blizzard of change or to embrace it fully.

Life can be cruel, life can be hard, and one has to keep fighting not to let down their guard cause most battles went through make a person who they are, being proud of your scars is the best. Struggle, Pain and Failure led Ashley, a girl desperate in need of a job to save her dying mother to end up falling into a trap. She got marked as a demon mate and had no way out but the situation takes a funny turn when she realized she is more than a mate!

I found out I was pregnant in the middle of a fight with my husband. How should I tell him without embarrassing myself too much? I decided to ask the Internet, and the netizens gave me a ton of advice based on their years of experience reading novels. One, run away with your unborn baby. Two, pretend to gag over lunch. Three, put his number into the abortion registration form… When he came to me in a frenzy, I belatedly realized, ‘Crap, I think I went too far!’

Rodrigo was lost for words, staring at her naked body, the only piece of cloth on her body, was the nude-colored lace G-string covering her pretty pussy. Rodrigo ran his hands through his hair, biting his lower lip, staring at the gorgeous woman standing in front of him. He was pulled by his thoughts by Reyna’s sweet, melodious voice. “Rod, I meant what I said. I want you to make love to me. You've been my first in everything, my first kiss…”, she slowly touched her lips, “my first orgasm…”, she ran her finger along her panties. “I want you to be my first… I want to lose my virginity to you, tonight…” she trailed off, she lowered her head feeling shy and unsure. Reyna Vasquez comes back to America after five years of being overseas. She comes back wanting a fresh start. Hoping to put behind her the nightmares of the last few years. Those years she wants to erase from her memory. She lost everything five years ago including the love of her life Rodrigo Rayes. Find out what happens when Reyna is forced to work for Rodrigo. Will the nightmares about her life overseas come to light? Will the secret of who she really is be exposed? Find out if Reyna manages to find her Prince Charming, if there is a happy ending waiting for her at the end of the story....

Would you rather live apart… or die together? She survives a plane crash and wakes up in a hidden village with rules stranger than death itself. Here, men and women who are not married cannot be seen together. The punishment? Public beheading. But when she meets Yoké, the mysterious, magnetic villager who makes her heart race, one rule becomes impossible to obey. Every stolen glance is a risk. Every touch is a death sentence. And yet, she cannot stay away. ★Prequel to Till Death Do Us Part

For Renata, the world of the rich is a place where she will never belong, as everyone, without exception, as self-centered, mean, rude, overbearing, cheating and wicked. When she leaves the country, she starts working for one of the biggest companies in the world, and although she hates herself for feeling this, she can't keep the bold Italian out of her thoughts, she can't control her heartbeat let alone the butterflies in her stomach every time he's around. She tries not to want him for 3 reasons: 1 - He is rich. 2 - He is her boss, and 3 - She finds the behavior of this Italian tycoon very suspicious. The more she tries to stay away, the more he insists on getting closer. Between them, which will speak louder: love or reason?

"Yes, us. I don't want to marry you," Luna stated, her gaze fixed on Lucas's face, devoid of expression. "So, you're going to marry the pianist then?" Lucas guessed, causing Luna to become more certain that the man in front of her was already aware of everything. "Of course. I love him, so I will marry him," Luna replied, observing Lucas's reaction carefully. "But this time, I need this marriage," Luna continued, dismissing Lucas's scoffing smile. "And?" Lucas asked. "We'll make a prenuptial agreement," Luna declared. "Do you think I'll agree?" Lucas responded dismissively. "You have to agree. Whether you like it or not, we're going to make a prenuptial agreement," Luna insisted, prompting a threatening smile from Lucas. "Luna Estrada, you're too confident. Do you think I'd agree to this marriage? I even declined it," Lucas replied, belittling her. "We're not going to make a prenuptial agreement because we're never going to get married," Lucas added, causing Luna to clench her fists as if she had been rejected by the man before her. How could Luna Estrada face rejection? She couldn't allow it to happen. "Hahahahah." Luna forced a laugh, attempting to make it sound mocking to Lucas, although at this moment, she wished she could throw her heel at Lucas's head. "Then why did your grandfather force my grandfather to persuade me to accept this marriage, huh?" Luna said with traces of laughter in her voice, emphasizing each word. "Are you serious?" Lucas asked, his face showing mockery. "Didn't you ask your grandfather who would marry you? Weren't you suspicious? Who knows, maybe your grandfather was referring to my own grandfather, trying to match us," Luna's inner thoughts raced, attempting to calm herself.

Hindi mo iisipin na ang taong minsan mo lang nakita ay ang taong nakakuha ng atensyon at nararamdaman mo.  Tanya Isadora Monteverde ay isang hacienderang dalaga na tumakas sa Mansyon at mas gustong manirahan mag-isa sa Maynila para mamuhay ng malayo sa diktador na kanyang mga magulang. Pagpasok niya sa Kolehiyo, kung saan makikilala niya si Andrea na magiging matalik niyang kaibigan at titira sa sila sa isang apartment.  Isang babae na laging malas pagdating sa pag-ibig. Paano kung isang araw ay aksidenteng matagpuan mo ang iyong prince charming. Ano ang gagawin mo para lang makuha ang atensyon niya? Lalo na maypaka babaero at pusong bato ang binata at ano ang gagawin mo lalo na ang amo ay may ugali na parang tigre na parang galit lagi sa mundo?  Sa paglipas nang panahon paano kung masusumpungan mo na lang ang iyong sarili na pagod na,  kaya mo pa bang sumugal muli sa ngalan ng wagas na pag-ibig?

Sitting in front of my OB-Gyne, I clasped my trembling hands and put them on my lap. She just had a thorough examination on me, and I got scared of what might be the result. I knew there was something wrong with me, but I couldn't point it out. “I have not seen any problem in you except that…” I looked into her eyes, my heart skipping beats. “You might be frigid.” "No," I screamed in my mind. I even love sex. My thoughts then went to that night where I had a sinful indulgence with the man in my dreams. Everything changes after that, including my ideals in life. But that man isn’t my husband now, but my boss.

Juliet is a confident curvy girl with a sharp tongue and a sassy fun loving attitude who runs a pizza shop with her sister. Jude is a frontman in a rock band with a hard edge but boyish good looks and a retro style. The two couldn't be more different, and from opposite worlds. A chance encounter brings them together for one explosive night neither will soon forget. Jude is forced to take a hard look at his life and question where he wants it to go while trying to decide on the future of his band. Follow along in this cute short story of how love comes in all forms. This is a simple and straight-forward easy to read feel good series about everyday people finding love in the most unsuspecting of places! We all have our issues, insecurities but can we open up and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to the right person? **This is a five part series that follows a hard rock band called Feisty and the five men who are its trail blazers, taking the world by storm while looking for love. Love finds them in some of the most unlikely places, but for one it’s been under his nose all along. A new book will come out about every six weeks until they are complete, enjoy!** This is a five part mini-series and the stories continue in order but can be read as individual stand-alone books. This part one, Judes story.