Snake Jokes Novels & Stories

“Those are divorce papers. Sign it,” He instructed, his voice cold as usual. I stared at the papers in shock and despite knowing the answer, I still asked. “Why?” “Because you aren't needed. I married you only because my father made it the only way to inherit his properties. I wasn't going to allow my hard work to go to the snake that is my younger brother and now that I've inherited almost everything, you're not needed.” “That is all I was?” I inquired knowing fully well his answer would hurt me but he didn't bother giving me an answer. “You'll be paid for your years as my bed warmer—” Bed warmer? “—and the moment my lawyer receives the signed document, you'll have the money sent to your card. In addition, you can stay here for an extra month.” I smiled through gritted teeth. “Fine. A hundred and thirty thousand grand is all I need.” “You can get more.” “I need just the amount I specified and don't worry, I'll sign right now. Just send the money now,” I told him before signing the document and handing it to him. *** After Shawna ends her loveless marriage she finds out that she's pregnant for her ex-husband. Now she has to figure out how to take care of herself, her kids, and her sick mother. When Damien comes back into her life and is willing to share her burden and take care of her. Will she forgive him and come back to him after everything he has put her through?

As the Don of Italy's most powerful mafia family, my father adopted two orphaned brothers to serve as bodyguards for my sister and me. The older one—tall, broad-shouldered, and watchful—fell for my sister the moment he saw her. That left me with his "autistic" younger brother. I didn't have the heart to send Edward back to the orphanage, where he'd surely be bullied, so I kept him. He never spoke, so I took him to the best psychiatrists money could buy. I spent two hours every day telling him jokes, even though he never once cracked a smile. He couldn't protect me, so I taught myself martial arts—and begged my father not to cast him out. I thought he was just deeply traumatized. That with enough patience, he'd come around. Then the cruise ship went down. He tore the last life jacket straight off my body. The first words he ever said to me: "Sorry, but Bianca's life jacket is defective." Bianca—my sister. He watched me slip beneath the waves, gripping my hand one last time: "I failed you in this life. I'll make it up to you in the next." Turns out his silence was never autism. Just an act—one he only kept up around me. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day we chose our bodyguards. This time? I skipped the bodyguard farce entirely. Decided to live my own life. But now it seems I've caught the eye of someone far more dangerous...

Zoe Grace Langston, a 17-year-old girl, is forced to stay at her brother’s apartment while their parents are abroad. At first, she thought she would only be staying with her brother, Zach. But she was wrong. Zach has a roommate named Max—Maximillian Jones Shepard, a 31-year-old man with a free and passionate lifestyle. Their first encounter happens when Zoe is masturbating in Max’s room. Then, their other meetings take place in awkward and heated situations because Max constantly teases Zoe and throws dirty jokes at her. Until one night, they sleep together, and that night becomes Zoe’s first time. Their relationship is built on a burning passion that grows wilder and wilder, making Zoe even more curious about adult sexual life, which she has never experienced before. Meanwhile, Max is always willing to fulfill Zoe’s wild fantasies with everything she wants from him. However, the relationship does not go as well as Zoe fantasized. What if they had to hide the relationship from Zach because he clearly wouldn’t approve of it? How will Zoe handle the problem with her school boyfriend, Jack, while she’s already in a relationship with Max? What if one day, a woman shows up claiming that she’s pregnant with Max’s child? And what if all this time, there’s a red string between Max and Zoe from the past that they never expected? What if Max is someone from the dark world who pulls Zoe into the same darkness? What if Max is a part of her past that she has never remembered until now? Can Zoe, who is still a young woman, face all the problems caused by her relationship with Max?

Jax saw the brunette, blonde, and redhead walk in the door. It's got to be a sin for 3 gorgeous women to be together. He thought this could be the beginning of a sexy joke, a brunette, blonde, and redhead walk into a biker bar. Trouble times 3 just walked in the door. Alert the officers." Raine gets a job with the Veteran's MC. She falls for Jax. His player ways cause trouble. She doesn't share. He won't be tamed. She's no one's property. Raine barely escaped a bad relationship. She's lost all her family except for her two best friends she's grown up with. She's learned to become independent and rely on herself. Jax is President of the motorcyle cllub. All the brothers have served in the armed forces. He's a rough, tough, true biker who likes his women and no commitments. These two clash big time. Ex's often pop back up. And the problem with club women is they tend to constantly show up causing drama and trouble. He's cold as Ice. She's sweet as honey. His past defines him. She wants to be his future. He thinks she doesn't belong in his world! Kim won't accept anything less than being with Ice. Sam is a nurse. Smokey is an officer in the MC. They both don't do relationships. Is that about to change? What happens when two becomes three? An ex complicates things, or does she give them the push they need to become the family they should be? Snake is Prez to another MC. Will he give up everything to become a third with Sam and Smokey? What kind of hell and trouble do their kids get into? Life is never boring in club life. Follow this badass biker story. +18, daily updates, and fast paced action!

When three people meet each other by chance a romance knocks them on their ass. ~Casey~ A 21 year old virgin working in one of the hottest night clubs in town. She may seem innocent but deep down she is a psycho who enjoys torturing people. She's never been touched by a man and she's killed the ones that have tried. She loves her only remaining family, her older sister Carrie. She has trust issues and a foul mouth. Can she find someone to match her crazy? ~Lincoln~ A 20 yr old street racer with a rough past. He is a bisexual, submissive with some masochistic tendencies. He's gorgeous and catches a lot of attention from both sexes. His cheating ex doesn't won't leave him alone almost borderline harassment. He jokes to hide the pain he bares every day. See how his life changes when he bumps into a little waitress. How will he react to a sexy, possessive man trying to gain his affections and encourage a little woman's psychotic tendencies? ~Malachi "Psycho" Sokolov~ He's a 23 yr old torture expert. He's well known in the underground and with the mafia families for using his pack of dogs during his interrogations. To the public he's a businessman, owning several nightclubs, a couple restaurants and some miscellaneous businesses. He is also bisexual and has had only a few lovers that can handle his bedroom habits. No one has really caught his attention until he sees a young man arguing with one of his staff and a new waitress that's as sweet as can be with little bit of fire and crazy. Find out if their love blooms or burns.

My adopted sister, Victoria, possessed a fiercely powerful wolf spirit. She was the sole hope for our endangered Silver Moon Pack. In contrast, though I was the Alpha's biological daughter, I was just an Omega. It wasn't until I turned twenty that I finally awakened a wolf spirit, and it possessed nothing but simple healing abilities. From that day on, my three older brothers forced me to become her personal blood slave. After enduring the extreme torture of the Full Moon Trials for the eighth time in her place, my wolf spirit was on the verge of being torn apart. Dragging my broken, battered body, I questioned them hoarsely. Chris, my eldest brother, sneered. "Victoria has suffered since she was a child, while you grew up in luxury. You're just taking a fraction of her pain for her. How is that unfair?" Aidan, my second brother, had ice-cold eyes. "Your talent, temperament, and wolf spirit can't compare to Victoria's in any way. You should be grateful for the chance to lift her." Evan, my third brother, shoved me to the ground. "It’s not like we're asking you to die for her. We raised you for years. Is this how you show your gratitude?" To punish me for my "willfulness," they threw me into the forbidden snake pits. As sharp fangs pierced my neck, the long-dormant system voice suddenly echoed in my mind. "Warning! Fatal venom detected. The host is in critical condition! Would you like to terminate the mission to redeem the three Silver Moon brothers, instantly leave this world, and return to reality?" With the last of my strength, right before my wolf spirit shattered completely, I nodded. From that moment on, every bond tying me to the three Silver Moon brothers was severed. We would never meet again, in life or in death.

Annabella has spent her life as the invisible daughter, the "little mouse" her brother mockingly named her. As the Beta's third-in-line heir, she should command respect. Instead, she endures her father Eugene's abuse in silence, documenting everything with hidden cameras while treasuring anonymous gifts from a secret admirer who sees her worth. For three years, she's found solace in Lucious, the second-born Alpha Heir who defies his brothers' cruel jokes to love her openly. But on her eighteenth birthday, everything changes. The mate bond doesn't just snap into place with Lucious; it ignites with all six Alpha Heirs. A legendary sixfold bond, the rarest connection their kind has known in centuries. Before Annabella can process this revelation, her world shatters. Her father didn't just abuse her; he sold her. A contract with the Moon Slashers Pack, half a million dollars, and a plan to rip her from Lucious's arms and deliver her to another Alpha's bed. Her brother Tate, her supposed protector, helped orchestrate it all. When Eugene's betrayal explodes at her coming-of-age breakfast, Annabella's forced first shift becomes a desperate flight for survival. Six mates who failed to protect her now race to prove their worth. A father willing to destroy anyone in his path to power. A mother she believed dead for five years: alive, drugged, imprisoned. And hidden camera footage revealing a conspiracy that spans multiple packs, threatens the Alpha's reign, and exposes a trafficking ring built on selling she-wolves like livestock. The little mouse was never weak. She was waiting for her moment to roar. Six mates. One truth. And chains that are finally breaking.

Ella James has spent most of her life being overlooked, underestimated, or laughed at. At school, she’s the girl in the oversized hoodies. The girl people make jokes about. The girl no one chooses. After years of disappointment, Ella has learned not to expect much from anyone—especially not from Beckett Cross. Popular, confident, and seemingly perfect, Beckett has always been everything Ella avoids. He’s the kind of boy who belongs at the center of every room while she’s spent years trying to disappear into the background. Then a family emergency forces Ella to move in next door. Suddenly, the boy who barely notices her at school becomes impossible to avoid. Inside his home, Beckett is different. Kinder. Softer. Protective in ways that leave Ella questioning everything she thought she knew about him. But every morning when they walk back into school, the walls go back up, leaving Ella trapped between two versions of the same boy. One who looks at her like she’s special. And one who acts like she doesn’t matter. As feelings grow and old insecurities refuse to stay buried, Beckett finds himself facing a truth he never expected: somewhere between late-night conversations, family dinners, and stolen moments, Ella became the first person he looks for. But loving Ella means more than feeling something when nobody is watching. It means choosing her when everyone is. And for a girl who’s spent her entire life feeling like someone’s second choice, that may be the one thing she can never compromise on. A slow-burn emotional romance about self-worth, first love, healing old wounds, and learning that being seen can be the scariest—and most beautiful—thing of all.

Sienna Calder swore she’d never touch her father’s world—Dorian Ashford, shipping mogul and billionaire king, left her mom to rot while he built his empire. She’s there to curse his grave when he dies, not to claim a dime. But his will traps her, naming her co-heir to his $50 billion legacy alongside Roman Valtieri, the brooding, hard-edged protégé who’s clawed his way into Dorian’s shadow—and now into hers. They’re to run the empire together or lose it all, and Sienna hates him for it: too slick, too close, every look a spark she doesn’t want. Then a letter from Dorian’s cold hand ignites the fire—he was murdered, and Roman’s name’s scratched beside the truth. A silver key and a vial of blood—hers, his—drag her deeper, promising answers locked in Ashford estate.But the walls crash in fast: Ezra Locke, a scarred snake with a grin like a blade, wants that key, and he’ll drown the place to get it. Roman’s her lifeline—gun drawn, hands steady, pulling her from the flood—and she loathes how his touch burns, how his voice steadies her when the water’s at her throat. Caught between rage and a pull she can’t name, Sienna fights the heat growing with every near miss—Roman’s too damn solid, too damn close, and she’s torn between shoving him away and pulling him in. The empire’s crumbling, the cliff’s falling, and Ezra’s not the only shadow circling—something darker watches, waiting. Love’s a gamble when blood’s the stake, and Sienna’s playing with a deck her father rigged. Can she trust Roman’s hands to hold her up, or will the crown they’re fighting for crush them both in its ashes?

I've been in a long-distance relationship with Xavier Harrington for four years. Every time we meet up with each other, the first thing he says to me is, "You've gotten fatter… and shorter." When my friend finds out about it, she jokes to me, "Maybe he has another girlfriend who's taller and thinner than you." It's supposed to be a joke, and yet I take it seriously. It explains why I've decided to travel a span of 1,800 miles just to seek Xavier out at the city he's stationed to. But that's when I accidentally stumble upon Xavier going on a stroll with a young woman side by side. I trail behind them, only to see them going to a cafe that's filled with people. There, they line up so that they can snap commemorative photos. However, whenever Xavier's hanging out with me, he often turns my suggestions down impatiently. To him, lining up at such places is a waste of time. Later on, Xavier and the woman secure a table in a restaurant. There, Xavier pulls out a chair for her before he starts setting out the cutlery for her. Even when the food is served, he will subconsciously push the woman's favorite dish in her direction. For the first time ever in our relationship of eight years, I find out that Xavier can be caring when he feels like it. I watch as Xavier chats animatedly with the woman at the table. He shares everything with her, be it the irritating experiences at work or the funny and interesting incidents that have happened to him so far. Then, I lower my head to look at the short text messages Xavier has sent to me in the past. "Time for work. It's lunch time. I'm about to nap." Suddenly, I find my relationship with Xavier extremely boring, so I dig out the invitation sent by my company regarding their outstation request and tap on it. After all, I no longer want anything to do with this flawed relationship anymore.