Spongebob Sarcasm Novels & Stories

Sawyer muttered pointedly before munching on her mutilated, ketchup covered fry. "Well, you act more like you're five." I bantered in amusement, hitching my chin toward the television in front of us. Sponge Bob was on, and she'd been focused solely on that for the better part of our late night meal. "I haven't seen more than the first season; My EX was obsessed." "I own every single one...too bad it's you I'm watching this with instead of your EX."

Sarcasm evident in my words *Just hurry up* *Fine* I replied and as I was about to keep my phone back into its rightful place I bumped into someone and my hot cocoa slipped from my hand unto the floor "We have to stop meeting like this cupcake" Only one human being in the world called me that. "Sorry about your hot cocoa though. At least it didn't spill all over your shirt" he said with an amused look on his charming face. Maybe if I ignore him he'll go away

“Just because I am excited to go to England, means that I am excited to meet that gay band. Do you not see how tight their pants are? Gosh! I am a girl and my pants aren’t even that tight. Anyway, I heard that English boys are hot especially with their accent. Huh! I wonder how much junk they have…” I was rudely cut off by Kyle yelling well attempting to sing the intro song for spongebob. I rolled my eyes. “Are you done with your ‘fantasy’? You have to realize although I know that you not innocent anymore I do not want to hear you go off on boys as a reminder that you are not a nun. Gah! I wish you were innocent.” I smiled and he gave me a disgusted face. I knew he was only kidding so I was

I said sarcastically. He claimed to be always awfully busy. Why was he suddenly being nice? "Seems like someone doesn't like it when I am being nice," he sneered sarcastically before adding in a teasing tone, "I didn't know you love playing it the hard way, Sunshine." Chills went down my spine. I shuddered at his words. Nah, he was still scary. I laughed awkwardly. "You are so funny. Not everyone has a unique taste like you," I said with a weird smile. The sarcasm was obvious.

He was substantially larger than the other two, so the way he glared down at me gave me a seriously bad vibe. "I'm sorry," I said, regaining my voice, but being careful to keep my usual sarcasm and cynicism out of it. Sardonicism was not the way to handle this situation. "Does the way I speak offend you in any way?" "You sassin' me? 'Cause the last person who sassed me and my friends got their face punched so hard, their nose looked like putty," the final goon, a black-haired, blue-eyed monstrosity, replied, his words slurred and grammatically incorrect. I looked over that fact though, thinking it wouldn't be wise if I pointed out his wrongs involving grammar.

"I'm sorry, amore. I didn't mean it. I'm just afraid." I froze at his words."Scared of?" "Myself.", he whispered."I don't want to do anything stupid." "How can someone be afraid of himself? Right Spongebob?", I peered over his shoulder to glance at the yellow sea sponge who nodded with me in agreement."See, he agrees with me." I looked back at him who looked confused out of his wits. The confusion in his eyes made me laugh as I tilted my head at him. "What the hell are you saying?"

I ask him pointing the finger at myself, "kind of" he laughs and turn his face away from me leaving me all confused, "Why the hell are laughing?" He clears his throat and faces me again "Sorry" he tried his best to stop laughing but I can see it all. His eyes were dancing as he recall the last night's event. I definitely did something stupid otherwise he wouldn't be laughing like Spongebob who literally laughs at anything cause of his weird humor. I got closer to him and grabbed him by his collar, "tell me what happened last night or I'm gonna make sure this is the last time you laugh like this" I pause and look him straight in the eyes,

“What’s wrong with looking for SpongeBob?” He’s fighting a smile. I can see it in the way his mouth twitches. “Nothing, if that’s your thing. I’m sure I could find you a SpongeBob centre. T-shirts. Balloons. A life-sized mascot, too. Just say the words and it’s all yours.” “No thanks,” I say, pulling down the sun visor and flipping open the mirror. I check my reflection and, thankfully, my anxiety didn’t melt my mascara. “I’m more of a Squidward girl.”

He answered. I shifted my eyes to look at the toaster I had placed on the counter. It could easily be spotted and I nodded my head towards it. " Oh look a toaster." I spoke up sarcastically. He moved his head to look at the toaster that was in broad daylight and let out an embarrassed cough. " I didn't see it." He grumbled. " Yeah like you didn't see the extinguisher, Dumbass." I replied, sarcasm dripped from my tone.

Myself and Mona both turn to look at her with scrunches on our faces, disgusted by her choice of words, but then a wicked smile breaks across my lips. "Bet we could make you spasm a couple times just by watching, heard my tongue could do amazing things." I wiggle my brows at the both of them. "Okay that's just gross." Mona screeches and the confident yet sassy expression on the blondies face turns into one that feigns impression with a downward tilt of her lips. "Did I forget to mention that sarcasm just doesn't look good on you?" It's more of a statement than a question, the horrified expression on her face has me in a fit of giggles for a moment.