Teks Stand Up Comedy Lucu Bikin Ngakak

My girlfriend's schoolmate is being hounded by creditors. In my past life, the same incident had unfolded before my eyes. I was worried that my girlfriend would provoke these ruthless creditors, so I'd advised her not to meddle. However, her schoolmate later overdosed on sleeping pills. Later on, my girlfriend acted as if nothing had happened and continued preparing for our wedding. But after she got drunk one day, I found her caressing his picture tenderly—before stabbing me in the heart with a knife. She claimed that if not for my indifference and selfishness, her schoolmate wouldn't have taken his own life. Now that I've been reborn, I'll grant her wish and let her help him pay off his debts. Presently, I say, "He's your schoolmate. If you can help him, go ahead. I won't object."

Isa si Earl Miguel Avelino Concha sa hinahangaang bachelor sa bansa. Nasa kanya na ang lahat kaya naman maraming mga babae ang naghahangad na mapansin niya. Ngunit ang binata ay may mahal na at walang iba kundi si Caroline Velasco Abad, isang sikat na modelo. Ngunit lingid sa kanyang kaalaman ay niloloko lamang siya ni Caroline sapagkat mayroon talaga itong totoong minamahal. Natuklasan ito ng kanyang kapatid na si Claire kaya naman agad niya itong sinumbong sa kanyang kuya Earl. Hindi naman naniwala ang binata sa kanyang nakababatang kapatid sapagkat alam nito na hindi talagang gusto ni Claire si Caroline para sa kanya. Alam ni Claire na wala nang magagawa ang pagsasabi niya ng katotohanan sa kuya Earl niya dahil head over heels ito sa nobyang si Claire at saka magaling ding magpaikot ang huli. Kaya naman umisip na lang siya ng paraan kung paanong hindi matutuloy ang kasal ng kanyang kuya at ng nobya nito.

I caught my boyfriend cheating. So I went to the one man he feared most—his father. But heartbreak turned into hate. And hate led me straight into Asher’s arms. Now I’m caught in something twisted and wrong… It was meant to hurt him. Still he won’t let me go without a fight. Asher Thompson isn’t just a father. He’s the man behind the mask. A mafian billionaire who hides his criminal empire beneath silk suits and polite smiles. And now, he owns me. I wanted revenge, to make Henry hurt. But each time Asher took me apart with a look. And every time I try to leave, he drags me deeper into his world of secrets and sin. He touches me like he owns me. He looks at me like I was made to be his. But I don’t know what’s worse, the pain Henry caused… Or how much I still feel for him, even while I’m in his father’s bed. And when the truth comes out? Someone’s going to bleed. And I’m not sure I want to survive it. This started with heartbreak. Now it’s war. And I’m the one holding the match.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you comfortable while you're being miserable.' Heiress Danielle Dawson has it all. A mansion, a fleet of exotic cars, a live-in chef, housekeepers, a fortune that can feed nations, and a dad who indulges her every wish. All these, and she is still empty. But Her father, wanting more power and wealth, out of the blues, arranges her marriage to the powerful Valentino empire's heir, Adrian, who happens to be the same guy she once had a one-night stand with. Danielle, a believer in love marriages, fights it at first but later gives in and decides to let destiny take its course. Adrian Valentino, Danielle's betrothed, comes from a different world; one which was nothing compared to the bed of roses that she is used to, but Adrian need not fret as his betrothed is more than ready to fight his battles and slay his demons; but how can you love someone who doesn't believe in the emotion, and how do you save someone that doesn't want to be saved?

Bloody ! Those dark blue eyes pierces me like he can actually see my soul, like he could see the demons lurking in my mind “W–who a–re you?” I stutter unable to form a single word right under his burning gaze. His dark, soulless eyes rake my body in a ravenous manner. “I am your Alpha.” he growls, stretching his hand forward. He spins me around and slams my body against the wall. A grunt leaves my lips at the force that presses my front to the wall. “You are mine.” he whispered, his calm voice sending shivers down my spine. *** Grace's life takes a tragic turn when her father dies mysteriously, and all his wealth is taken in a claim of paying an unknown debt. It gets even worse when her mother becomes a drunkard, and she has to be the breadwinner of the family to ensure her brother is well taken care of. Dreams shattered, and abandoned when she found out about her cheating boyfriend. She feels it's all when life throws her another curveball as someone sets her up to be raped. What happens when her turns out to be none other than Nelson Divine. The richest man in the country. Not only that, he is her mate. Love, hate, betrayal, and nigh more is Grace faced with. Will her life change after encountering the demigod of an Alpha? Or is she bound to suffer forever?

Celeste was forced to auction her body for a night because she desperately needed a huge amount of money for her brother's operation. Aside from that, she was also being harassed by her father's debtors. She was sold to a rich old man and had no choice but to sleep with him. She doesn't know how it happened, but the man she slept with was not an old man, but instead, a handsome man. After that night, Celeste left the room with money in her hands. Celeste meets the man again in an unexpected situation. She learned that he was Raff Alcantara, an excellent doctor who operated on her brother, and most of all, he was her boyfriend's uncle.

Davis Sailor, a young immortal who is known to be cold and sinister but with good looks from the evil realm is sent to Earth on a mission to eradicate the bloodline of the Onil, The Greatest Warriors with rare powers which could change the world. However, he spares the only Princess of the Onil's, Ellandria. He then comes back to take her life but the Princess had unleash her powers with vengeance and hatred in her heart. But she forgets about revenge the moment she meets Davis. What will be the two's destiny when she finds out he killed her family? Will love conquer hatred at that time? Dive in and enjoy readers!

"Miss Alice Brown, I am the butler here for your service. Our sir wants to buy the baby in your belly.” Butler replied. "What?!" Does that mean the abortion didn't take place? Did they kidnap her from the operating table? Just to buy the baby? But why her? "You..." Alice was about to ask a question, but the man in front of her said calmly, as if he had expected her question, "Miss, you are pregnant with the master's child, and he needs a child, that's all I can tell you." *** Alice was forced to sign a surrogacy contract and eight months later gave birth to two healthy children. Fortunately, the man was unaware of her daughter's existence. It wasn't until five years later that fate brought them together again...

Pinagkaisahan si Audrey Santillan ng kanyang kapatid. Sa araw ng kanyang kaarawan ay inakala niyang ang kanyang kasintahan ang napagbigyan ng ng sarili ngunit estranghero pala ito. Makalipas ang limang taon, gamit ang bagong pangalan, bumalik siya upang ipaghiganti ang nangyari sa kanila ng kanyang kawawang sanggol. Iyon ay ang pakasalan si Marco Montezides, ang lalaking imbalido ngunit isa sa pinakamayamang lalaki sa bansa. Ito rin ang half-brother ng kanyang dating kasintahang si Julian Montezides. Paano kung sa kagustuhan niyang makaganti, mayroon siyang mga matutuklasang hindi karaniwan? Lalong-lalo na sa isang misteryosong bilyonaro.

“Please… f*ck me. I’m burning.” Those weren’t the words Aurora Blaire ever thought she’d say—especially not on the night of her engagement party. But one reckless, forbidden night shattered everything she believed about herself. A twenty-two-year-old virgin raised to be perfect, Aurora suddenly wakes up in the wrong bed—with a stranger who isn't her fiancé. Her innocence, her reputation, her future—one night threatens it all. And watching her fall apart? A ruthless, possessive billionaire with eyes dark enough to swallow sin. He saw her trembling, her tears, and something inside him snapped. He didn’t want to use her—he wanted to protect her. To shield her from the wicked world. To claim her. To make her his. He’s willing to burn the world to keep her safe… But the only person he can’t protect her from is… himself.