Tell Me A Filipino Joke

Bata pa lang si Marina, may galit ng namuo sa puso ni Sebastian dahil ayaw niya itong nakikita palagi sa kanilang hacienda. Sukang suka siya sa babaeng matabang nerd na kagaya ni Marina ngunit matalino naman ito dahil sa sipag niyang mag-aral. Paano na lang sa kanilang pagbinata at pagdalaga ay hindi nila inaasahan ang huling habilin ng yuamong lolo at lola ni Sebastian na ipakasal silang dalawa pagtungtong nila sa tamang edad? Ano kaya ang mangyayari sa kanilang dalawa kung sila'y magsama sa iisang bahay kung sila'y kasal na? May mabubuo ba kayang pagmamahal sa pagitan nilang dalawa kahit sila'y magkaaway noon pa man?

Cassidy still wanted to see her ex-boyfriend Austin na isang high ranking Police Officer na,.again after many years but not in this humiliating and scaring situation, Cass who's disguising herself habang naghahalungkay sa kwarto nito while looking for the thing that will save her brother's life. But she was caught by Austin who didn't recognize her and tried to hit her by his dagger. But of course she has a goal and tried her best to escape many times but she was always caught by Austin. And it makes his suspicions rise towards her, he drowns her discovering her real identity and she has no choice but to tell him the truth. She needs to make a deal with him, he will help her save her brother but she needs to stay. 'Easy..Got it! ' But to her shock after learning that he is still crazily following his ex-girlfriend and her ex-bestfriend na si Jenna who's already engaged at nakikipag flirt parin kay Austin and it makes her mad. To her anger she set them up Jenna and Austin and brought Jenna's fiancee at talakan si Jenna but Austin was so mad at her that he left her in the middle of nowhere soaking wet under the rain, and after a few minutes he returned crushing his 4x4 huge car sa sasakyan nang lalaki na nagmagandang loob lang na isakay siya just to get her back and carry her on his shoulder like a sack of rice! But she already made up her mind, Austin wanted Jenna and she will accept Juanito's marriage proposal the gang leader who took her brother. In exchange for her brother's life.. The question is.. papayag ba si Austin?

I'm due for a promotion when I stumble upon my husband entangled with his childhood sweetheart. After that, I'm secretly admitted to a psychiatric facility. I repeatedly tell the doctors that I'm fine, but all I get is worse abuse and humiliation. When Howard Armstrong visits me every month, I beg him to get me out. Each time, he says, "This is a proper establishment, so you have to follow the doctor's instructions. Don't be unreasonable!" On the day I'm discharged, he speaks to me tenderly and calls me his honey. Later, when I place a divorce agreement before him, he breaks down in tears.

Could you swing along to the flow of fate that purposely designed specifically for you? But what if every beat of your heart is yearning for love? "Am I selfish if I ask you to stay? If I tell you I love you, would you hold me closer?" Taste it. Savour it, but don't you ever claim it. It may be just a trap. Guard your heart.

CONTENT WARNING. EROTICA ROMANCE: RATED 18+. "Tell me," he said. "Tell me what you want..." My senses were reeling, my body jerking against his hand. "I want you to fuck me," I said. "I want your gorgeous fucking cock in me..." "Nice," he smiled against my cheek. "More..." My voice was just a whisper. "I want to feel you inside... I want you to fuck me, hard... I want you to take my ass, and make me fucking squeal..." "You want to be stretched, little girl? Is that what you fucking want?" Oh fuck, my clit was clanging like a church bell. "Yes... Oh, fuck, please... I want you to stretch me..." "Gonna open you up so fucking wide," he growled. "Gonna take your fucking cunt with two fat cocks, stretch you nice and fucking big... two big fucking dicks in your sweet little pussy... gonna feel so fucking dirty... gonna feel so fucking tight..." "Yes..." "Wanna see inside you... into your pink fucking hole..." "Yes..." "Gonna make you wet... make you stretch... make you fucking gape for me..." The heel of his palm was so hard against my clit. "Fuck..." I ran my fingers down his chest, over his abs, until I found the swell in his pants. I squeezed him through his jeans. "Fuck me..." "I fucking shouldn't..." he groaned. "Fuck..." But he was grinding against my hand, moving over me. "Just a quick one. Hard and fast. Please..." "I can't..." he said. "I can't..."

Zeus had spent the last twelve years of his life as a substitute for a powerful man, Damon, living a false life of wealth, all in exchange for money. What he hadn’t anticipated that the identity he had assumed would tie him to the most dangerous man of all. Odin Romano. “I am your god, and I am your devil here, Damon.” When Odin’s sister took her own life, she left a note with Damon’s name on it. Odin who was known to exhume graves and crush whatever remained would never let his sister’s “killer” go free. Soon, Zeus found himself kidnapped by a deadly handsome man. “Who… who are you?” Zeus’s face turned white when his eyes met with animalistic yet sexy brown eyes that could not possibly belong to a human. The man tilted his chin up not with his fingers but with his claws, his hot breath brushing against Zeus’ lips, “Call me Alpha.” Zeus was trapped, accused of a crime he didn’t commit, yet trying to convince Odin seemed impossible. At every turn, Odin was prepared to turn Zeus’ life into a living hell. Escape felt impossible, and, against all odds, the allure of his enemy grew more irresistible. Until ever so slowly Zeus becomes Odin’s obsession. “What the hell do you want from me now? Haven’t you had enough of your revenge already? Haven’t I paid enough? Let me go now. My fiance is waiting for me!” Zeus glared at his kidnapper who was pinning him down to his bed. “Your fiance?” Odin chuckled a dark smile tugging at his lips. “Tell her to rest. Your husband is back.” Falling in love with the enemy was unforgivable, but would their hearts follow the rules?

— Ai papai, para não, eu vou chegar lá… No auditório, a multidão era um caos total. Aproveitei o tumulto pra empurrar de propósito a garota que estava na minha frente. Ela usava uma saia de colegial bem sexy. Sem pensar duas vezes, levantei a saia dela pra me esfregar naquela bundona. O que me deixava louco era que a calcinha dela era fininha demais. Sentir aquela bunda tão gostosa e suculenta me fez perder a cabeça. E o mais incrível de tudo foi que ela parecia estar curtindo a pegação.

The church was full of different kinds of majestic decorations. A theme of white and gold, the color that is perfectly expressing both purity and prosperity. Indeed, it is really f*cking wonderful. But then... On this fre*king wonderful day who would have thought that a mere guest like me who was forced to attend this d*mn wedding of my damn stepsister will become the bride??! “She is right here. The… bride is here. We shall start the ceremony, Mr. Morgan” “Is it her?” “Y-yes. She is the one you will marry.” “Wait what, me?!”

I discover Quilton Fuller's affair before our wedding, so I lie to him about having aborted our child. He hates me for that and gets engaged to a woman who looks just like me. On his wedding day, he video-calls me, wanting to show me his bride. However, he's greeted by the sight of me bloody and battered after being tormented by abductors. I beg him to at least save the baby in my womb, but he says to the abductors, "You'd better kill her and her child."

“Fuck me, Dante.” He was my uncle. Not by blood, but by name, by family, by everything that should’ve kept me safe from him. Instead, it made me his obsession. Dante Martinez—consigliere of the Italian mafia, the man who could dismantle empires with a single glance. One family dinner. One lingering gaze across the table. One move into his penthouse that became my undoing. He warned me not to test him. I ignored him. He promised he’d break me if I kept pushing. I pushed harder. Now I know what it means when a monster decides to love you—when his control snaps and you’re dragged into the darkness he rules. He says I’m his ruin. But Dante was never my salvation. He was always the sin I was born to crave.