terrible puns

“What anniversary are you celebrating, huh? Five years of barrenness?” he queried, “It’s just another year to celebrate how unfortunate I am to be with you.” “We’ve come this far, love, I’m sure having a child won’t be a problem,” I manage to say with a smile. “Oh please, I don't fertilize barren land. There's no point wasting my seed on infertile soil.” *** Five years of marriage went down the drain in one day. Cara can overlook everything despite being betrayed by her husband and taken for a fool. What she can't endure is them being the reason she lost her baby and her womb. Cara divorced him and went back to reclaim her rightful place as the wealthiest billionaire heiress in the country. Now, she's sworn to make everyone who hurt her pay. Except for the fact that her ex-husband has realized what a terrible mistake he made and wants her back. Will Cara take him back or will she kick him to the curb along with the others who hurt her?

Ivy Bernard always believed she was the chosen one, destined to save her pack from a terrible fate. Born with mesmerizing blue eyes and hair, she was supposed to marry the alpha, the man she loved. But on the eve of their union, Ivy was heartlessly rejected and betrayed by the very man who was supposed to protect her. The alpha found another woman who looked just like Ivy, claiming her as his mate. Crushed, Ivy fled—only to be saved by the mysterious and powerful Ryan Klein, a man battling a terminal illness. He claims they're mates, but Ivy has lost her memory and believes him. Her life becomes a twisted web of lies and deceit, as Ryan’s secret intentions to protect her mask his own desperate need to live out his final days with someone he loves. But what happens when Ivy remembers the truth? "Am I your Luna, Ryan? Or did you lie?" As Ivy uncovers Ryan's betrayal, she decides to play along. She feigns ignorance, biding her time, planning her revenge. Derek, the dangerous second male lead who betrayed her in the past, is also lurking, determined to reclaim Ivy for himself. With the prophecy's weight on her shoulders and enemies closing in from all sides, Ivy must confront her deepest fears: Can she forgive Ryan’s deception? Or will revenge consume her? Will Ivy reclaim her power, or will the lies tear her apart?

The next thing she knew was that she was slung on his muscular shoulder. She thrashed her legs, but he carried her as if she weighed no more than a bag of feathers. "Caelum please!" She begged him but he ignored her as he walked through the corridors and into the bedroom. And threw her on the bed. While she was busy recovering her breath, he threw his coat on the floor and started unbuttoning his shirt. "W-what are y-you doing?" she asked. Her face paler than paper. "Exactly what married couples do, love." He said dropping the shirt on the floor, His voice so full of viciousness that she almost choked on them. She dragged herself back on the bed sobbing, "no.." He grabbed her legs and pulled her towards himself. He crawled on top of her. He looked into her terrified eyes and whispered, "You make me do terrible things, my dear Rose." He wiped a stray tear from her chin before grabbing it. "I will bruise your lip and scar your knees and love you too hard.." he brushed his lips on hers, "I will destroy you. And when I leave, You will finally understand why storms are named after humans." ........................... Rosette never had an easy life, and after the death of her mother, when she thought things couldn't get worse, her life started going fully downhill. She was tortured beyond repair in her own house. She could only dream of being loved. She dreamed of getting married and finally breaking free from all these cages, but fate had other plans for her. Her life going totally downhill, turned upside down when she was married to the biggest business tycoon in the city. Will this marriage totally wreck her? Would she ever be able to break free?..

I was Lonnie Vaughn's fiancée, yet he treated me with disdain, looking at me as though I was nothing more than a bothersome obligation. To outsiders, I was just a caged songbird he kept for amusement—disposable when he tired of me. I refused to believe it. In my eyes, Lonnie loved me, too; he was just terrible at expressing it. But that illusion shattered when I became the victim of face-swapping. When those filthy videos were played in front of Lonnie, he refused to listen to my desperate explanations. When I was kidnapped, he refused to pay the ransom. All because his maid sneered, "Olivia's tainted. She needs to be taught a lesson." Lonnie responded, "I never want to see you again in this lifetime." Those words fueled the captors' cruelty. For three months, they tortured me. By the end, I truly was tainted, and my love for Lonnie was buried beneath layers of ash and despair. Then Lonnie appeared before me while sobbing in regret, begging me to love him again.

Imprisoned for most of her life, Lisa Adrian carries a terrible secret. She's a vampire with no thirst for human blood. After escaping from her confines, she's caught by the most feared Alpha werewolf in the area. Alpha Jeremy Silman, the leader of the Night Walker Pack renowned for his hatred of Vampires. In a shocking twist, they feel the mate bond between them. They both have to navigate the new development amidst pack wars and creature rivalries. Will their destined love defy the odds and blossom against all expectations?

Sofia just landed a job as a housekeeper and nanny in a luxurious apartment in the city's wealthiest district. What she didn’t expect was to run into Archie, a famous actor who happens to live in the same building. While he’s charming to everyone else, Archie has no problem showing Sofia his rudest side from the very start. As their worlds collide, they’re forced to navigate a tense neighborly coexistence filled with conflict—but will it always be that way? "I'm not your fan, you damn narcissist!" "My job is to pretend, and I have to say, you're terrible at it, sweetheart."

Amelia Dawn's life is a huge mess. Her billionaire family went bankrupt years ago, she's terrible at her waitress job, and she has just caught her boyfriend cheating on her. So when she is offered a deal that lets her take the place of an heiress, she expects that her life will become perfect. It becomes perfect, all right. A perfect disaster. From an awful family and a crumbling business to angry exes and an arranged marriage… Amelia is about to be thrown into the well of drama that comes with being Isabella Domitia. There isn't a single thing she saw coming, especially not the hot brooding CEO whose heart she must steal without giving away hers.

Sharon thought she could leave her past behind after a terrible heartbreak. She had a one-night stand with Davis, and decided to relocate. But when she returns home with her son, Davis is now the fiancé of her sister Isabella. The sisters' friendship breaks as secrets fall apart, betrayals surface, and manipulations are revealed. While both Sharon and Isabella must struggle with their decisions in this tale of love, family, and atonement, Davis must negotiate the complex web of deception to find the truth.

Raised with a silver spoon in my mouth, Gina Harrington lived a world of comfort, peace and affluence. But it all changed the moment he came into my life. A man of ruthless disposition and a bloodthirsty nature. The leader of the most notorious group in the mafia mob and a terrible excuse for a human. I had no choice as my life and the family I've known all my life is exposed to the danger that is Devon Fenrir. I had to make a deal with the devil in exchange for their safety. The deal was simple. Become his pet for a year and he would redeem my father's name. I plunged into the depths of hell and submitted to the whims of the devil for the sake of my family. I wonder what I would find down there.

Heartbroken, Anne Kal ventures to a bar to drink away her sorrows, something she haven't done before. Unknown to her, in her drunken state, she spends the night in the arms of Billionaire businessman, Hudson Black. However, Hudson Black suffers a terrible Insomnia that has defied all forms of treatment but on the night he spent with Anne, he slept for the first time in a long time. But Anne disappeared from Hudson after that night. Determined to keep this human sleeping pill, Hudson swore to find her and make her sign a contract. What will become of a blooming relationship between the sick and the Heartbroken? How will their relationship survive the challenges of the wealthy society?