Thinking Of Me Novels & Stories

Alive one thought hit me with crushing force. This wasn’t just about me anymore. This was about him.

I flash the toilet. Flash those thoughts off my mind.

Why is my mind fucking blank. I'm cooked!

What the fuck is she thinking? Just what is running through her mind ? My long and hurried strikes turn into jogs. The jog turns into a run and the run turns into a full out sprint. My feet crash against the hall way’s floor as I sprint back hurriedly, not caring if anyone heard me anymore. She might be in trouble even right now. Every second that she’s there could be a second of her being hurt or harassed or worse. I will the more horrible thoughts away. Fuck! Fuck!! Fuck!!!

"Who are you thinking about?" " I'm not thinking about anyone" "Really because it seems to me that you are. it's fine if you think about someone else when you are with others, but when you are with me you have to only think about me. I don't like that dazed expression on your face" " I...I don't have a dazed expression "

The tho⁠ught lodge‌s itself i⁠n my mind, cold⁠ a⁠nd unr‍elenting. ‍What if one day he just doe‍s not come home?

I sit at the table and think about Friday. Just Friday.

“What are you thinking about?” I swallowed hard. “Something that I have no right to think about.” “Answer the question please.” I sighed as I let her go and took a step away from her. “I was thinking about being a family with you and Becky. I was thinking about all the ways I could show her how she was supposed to be treated. I was thinking about family dates, and daddy-daughter days. I was thinking about being the one to be by your side as you work through your past.” I ran my fingers agitatedly through my hair. “I was thinking about how right it felt to think about us being a family.”

Who the fuck thought we’d live to see the day? The drive from Windsor Castle was a lonesome crusade through an ocean of thoughts. It didn’t bother me to think; it never has. This time I was worried about my sanity because every single thought involved black r and curvy little body, and I wondered if I had lost my shit. I suddenly felt the need to see Kimberly! Rriiing! The loud ringtone yanked me from my musings, and for a second, I was excited for the small distraction.

“You can do it, try to think of something else. Something calming. Maybe the sound of something that you enjoy so much or the face of someone that you adore. Think, Eudora.” I tried to think of all those things but my life has never been all sunshines and rainbows so I do not have the privilege to actually like the sound of something. Everything feels like it’s been designed to be against me. “Think, Eudora.” But I couldn’t breathe and so I had to think.