Tidak Mudah Menjadi Aku Novels & Stories

We sat on the sofa still talking freely; everything just seemed so easy with her. I didn’t feel the need to put on an act or try to be something that I wasn’t, she seemed to accept everything at face value and actually be interested in me, instead of what I looked like. I loved that she was intrigued by me as a person; it didn't usually work that way with girls.

But why couldn’t I do it? Why couldn’t I shift into a simple bat? Perhaps it was because bats were not simple creatures, maybe they were more complicated than I was giving them credit for, it was hard to shift into another being and even harder to control yourself once you became that creature. I knew that it would be a difficult task, but I never imagined it to be this bad, I had hoped to be better, to manage more than I had done.

I was young and pregnant, I probably didn't look like a great prospect at the time. But then I did go on to become a good prospect so that's something, right? Fuck, I don't know... I haven't got a clue. I'm so confused about everything. I don't want to have to start again; that would really crush me. Somehow, I'm going to have to find a way to make myself irreplaceable. I don't have the strength to fight for my livelihood, but I'm going to find it deep within me. I have to find the words and power.

Trying to be useful without being controlling. Trying to make peace with being bridge instead of foundation or future. Some days I manage it. Some days I don't. But I'm trying. That's all anyone can do."

The answer came fast. INK111: I can't undo it. That's the worst part. I can try to fix it, but I can't undo it. Something inside of me softened. Then, I sent another reply. INK111: Then fix it. That's all anyone can do. “NR_27: You make it sound easy. His reply was short. I exhaled out slowly. INK111: It's not actually easy. It just starts with wanting to be better. The typing bubble disappeared and appeared again.

Only Genesis. I want to be happy, but happiness seems like an impossible feat for me. Today should have been my day. I don't know how or why things turned out the way they did. I don't understand why they chose me. I don't know what the queen mother saw in me, but for the fact that I got chosen, shouldn't I be given some kind of reward? I don't need a big reward; I only need a hug coupled with some fatherly words from my father. Why is it so hard to get this?

His jaw tightened. “I spent my whole life building myself into someone he couldn’t dismiss. I don’t know how to stop doing that, even now that I know exactly what kind of man he actually is.” “You don’t have to become him to survive him,” I said quietly. He looked over at me. “That’s not as simple as it sounds.”

"Abhishek, it's difficult. It's too difficult to cope up with the new atmosphere especially when you are a child who could not speak properly. There were only few who would try to understand me patiently, without making fun of me. Most of them would only make me feel differentiated, as if I was not a human who can be hurt too.

I say. "That is what I told him. But no matter how much I tried to convince him, he doesn't want still. He keeps saying it wasn't easy." I understand, Von. It wasn't easy to start over, even if you know what you have to do. But it's bad for not overcoming it.

Good friends, acquaintances even my own boyfriend. Even though I struggled hard to be able to date him. I did all kinds of ways to be willing to change my appearance and personality. I'm used to living well and always being spoiled. I'm used to getting whatever I want. Everything feels easy except conquering the heart of someone who is soft and has that sweet smile. Plus I have a lot of competition. Even so instead of giving up, my ambition to get it is getting bigger. Defeat is not something I can accept rightly.