Tidak Mudah Menjadi Aku Romane & Geschichten

Trying to be useful without being controlling. Trying to make peace with being bridge instead of foundation or future. Some days I manage it. Some days I don't. But I'm trying. That's all anyone can do."

So, don't make my job any harder. ***

'I still need to do a lot of hard work. ***

mushkil ho gaya khud ko kaise How did it become difficult for me pahachaanuu main pahachaanuun to recognize myself, to recognize myself din kaTta hai kaTte na raatiya I endure the daytime; the nights are endured kis se kahuun main ye saarii baatiyan To whom can I tell all these things? guDiyaa Doll man men tarangen uTHne lagii hain Waves have begun to roll through my mind yeh kaisii yeh kaisii

Breaking a soul is very easy but saving one is very hard. You have to do it You have to do it You have to do it You have to save her Christian. No matter how difficult it is. No matter how unbearable it is. You have to... For the future you ought to achieve.. For the life you desire to live..

You make not falling for you harder. ****

I release the breath I didn’t know I was holding, trying to gain some courage to say what my heart really wanted to say. “It’s just that,” I pause as I try to find the right words to better explain what I was feeling. “I just can’t believe that you are mine. That you know, I was surprised at how easy it was. I mean don’t get me wrong because I love you, I really do. It’s just that I have been trying since I came here and it wasn't easy. So…” The words disappear at the back of my throat. I know that I am not making sense. Because this whole situation doesn’t make sense.

she whispered. “So why do you almost judge her for it?” “I don’t…” “No?” Ana crossed her arms and slid further down in her chair. At that moment, she really did look like a stubborn child. “It seems that way,” I said. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. “It’s hard,” she said. “What?” “Being happy. To me, it’s harder than being angry,” she confessed. “How so?” I asked. “Because it… it feels like something I can’t reach. Like something on the top shelf,” she explained. “I jump for it, I climb for it, but somehow I still can’t grasp it.”

And somehow, I still haven’t been pushed to my breaking point. Pathetic.

For the person I still believed I could become, even if getting there was harder than I'd ever imagined. Even if some days, like today, I wasn't sure I was making any progress at all. But I'd keep trying. That had to count for something.