Novel & Cerita Unfeeling

I hate him’ ‘Ok, maybe hate is a strong word there tiger! ‘I know, I know! I’m just…I don’t know how to feel man’ ‘Who said you need to figure out how you’re supposed to feel? In life we all have feelings, yes we can control them, but for balance’s sake, one is expected to feel something’ ‘Yeah! But I don’t feel anything. Ok, when I do think about it, it pisses me off, but still I feel I am supposed to feel something, something meaningful’ ‘Who said feelings have to be meaningful? Ok, understand this, yes I feel you were supposed to feel something, probably anger, hatred, resentment, but you reason, you understand with reason, you look deeper into things’

"BLAKE LET ME GO!" Rather than letting me go, he stopped pulling me and hold my shoulders facing him and our eyes just met. And why does it seem like time stopped? Am I blushing? I feel like my face is hot, and why is my heart thumping so fast? Am I nervous? Why don't you move Dianna? My body doesn't want to move, gahd this is a problem. Am I being hypnotized by his eyes? And why does it seem like he is coming closer and closer to me? Don't tell me that he is going to kiss me? No no no, please no! What am I going to do? He closed his eyes already! Am I going to close my eyes as well? ARGHHHHHH! PAAAKKKKK!!!

I bit back a sob and let the words flow through my mind: Time will bring the real end of our trial One day there'll be no remnants No trace, no residual feelings within ya One day you won't remember me… Your face will be the reason I smile But I will not see what I cannot have forever I'll always love ya, I hope you feel the same

I sang along with them as I drove slowly. "Willows come, and Willows hear as we sing to alleviate our fear We are an unmovable mountain, we remain unshakeable. No matter the trouble, our hearts are unbreakable. No matter the pain, we remain formidable, and no matter how long it takes, our victory will always be indisputable."

“You really can’t feel anything.” I couldn’t. Since I was born, I’ve been unable to feel anything physically. Touch, pain, nothing. Not the wind, not cold, not heat, not even my clothes. “You’re like a piece of dead wood.” Liam said with disgust, tossing my head to the side. “You’re really fucking naive Andy. How the fuck did you think I’d love a woman that can’t even feel when I touch her?” I touched my chin. Nothing. I couldn’t even feel my own touch.

The face of someone about to say a thing they have never said to anyone. "I came back without the ability to feel anything for other people," he said. "No empathy. No grief. No — the word for caring what happens to someone that is not you." He said it plainly, with the flat precision of someone describing a symptom to a doctor. "I can understand that harm is harm in the abstract. I can calculate consequences. But I cannot feel it. The register that would tell me this matters — that this person matters — is not there." He paused. "And before — I had all of it. I was an ordinary person with ordinary responses to other people's pain. The return took it."

I don't understand why I had to act in a certain way or feel certain emotions. "You want to know how I feel Jamie?" I finally shouted at her, my anger suddenly getting the better of me as my fists clenched at me side and my canines extended from my gums. "I feel numb. I feel like there is nothing which is ever going to make me happy again. I can't cry because I haven't got the energy to be able to cry, just like I don't have the energy to hate people. I feel like I have just lost the biggest part of my life and I feel like I will never be able to smile again. Now, you want to know why I can't hate El?"

And I? I feel nothing.