Very Very Funny Jokes

When they were married, billionaire tycoon Mr. Seven said, "That goth bitch is just after my money and my looks. If she dares to ever touch me, I'll chop her up into pieces."After the divorce, Mr. Seven went around telling others, "My wife has been bullied by her family all her life. She is the most gorgeous woman on earth. If you look at her funny, I'll gouge your eyes out!"Mr. Seven, do you even hear what you're saying?

I grew up with a plan. I already knew from the very beginning that my whole life would revolve around reclaiming the territory that rightfully belonged to my father's name. I wouldn't stop until I got it back, even if that meant playing a game of seduction with Alpha Maddox, the ruthless Alpha of the Dark Forest Pack, to get my way in. But what I didn't see coming was Xander Trevino — Alpha Maddox's brother and his new Beta. Xander was cold, dismissive, and my fated mate. His being distant and unbothered by me should have made it easier for me to put my game into action, but it didn't. Because every time we collide, sparks fly and I am left weak to my core. Being weak was not part of the game. ***** This book is a spin-off novel from the Alpha Blood Circle Series but can be read as a standalone.  ***** Follow me on my I G and F B for updates and teasers - author.cassa.m

"I'm gay." My eyes grow so big as I stop breathing, but two seconds later I'm bursting with laughter. "Okay funny," I finally tone down my laugh as I bring myself to look at him again. But he is still staring at me like he had been when he told me that joke. "Wait," uhh, "Really?" He nods, "Really." "You like... guys?" "I fuck guys." Oh wow, you really can't have it all can you. When he checks all the boxes, suddenly there's this big box he doesn't. The most important box, the top on the list. "You're gay or bi?" Because there's a big difference between those two. "I'm gay." "You never fuck a woman?" "I've never fucked a woman." "Then why the hell would you want me to be your sugar baby? To watch you fuck another man's butthole?" He smirks despite my little mockery. "Oh now it's funny?" "It is," he is still smirking, "But no. It's the opposite of what I wanna do." I bring my arms across my chest as I reply in my all-business tone, "Enlighten me." *** 22 year old Estelle is one of the best sugar babies the agency has ever had. She has the whole package, no dick ever gone soft seeing how perfect she is, both her body and personality. But can she sway Owen into the heterosexual group? After being in that homo-pool all this while?

Nate Wolf is a loner and your typical High School bad boy. He is territorial and likes to keep to himself. He leaves people alone as long as they keep their distance from him. His power of intimidation worked on everyone except for one person, Amelia Martinez. The annoying new student who was the bane of his existence. She broke his rule and won't leave him alone no matter how much he tried and eventually they became friends.As their friendship blossomed Nate felt a certain attraction towards Amelia but he was too afraid to express his feelings to her. Then one day, he found out Amelia was hiding a tragic secret underneath her cheerful mask. At that moment, Nate realized Amelia was the only person who could make him happy. Conflicted between his true feelings for her and battling his own personal demons, Nate decided to do anything to save this beautiful, sweet, and somewhat annoying girl who brightened up his life and made him feel whole again.Find my interview with Goodnovel: https://tinyurl.com/yxmz84q2

"I will fück you whenever and however I want! Say you want this!" He hissed. A pleasure moan escaped her throat. "Yes sir, I__I want this." She panted breathlessly. He hesitated for the briefest moment. "What is my name, Faith?" She didn't delay in answering. "S_sterling Hunter" These were the very words that sealed her fate. A story in which a Billionaire became obsessed with his secretary, there were no rules in the game of lust and desire, he would stop at nothing to make her his. Lies and manipulation was all Faith Jameson ever got from the men she dated. She thought she could trust her boss, little did she know that she had been a tool in his hands all along, she was no more than a pawn in his deceptive games. Would it be too late escape from the webs he had built? Or would she play the game of chess he started?

During childbirth, she suffered from excessive bleeding and her life was at stake. Her mother-in-law made a huge fuss outside the delivery room. “Save my precious grandchild!” She watched as her husband looked at her coldly and said to the doctor mercilessly, “Save the baby.” She was heartbroken at that very moment and swore to herself that if she could live through this, she would get a divorce!After the divorce, Hesper was surrounded by admirers and had troops of suitors following her. Rickard panicked!He scooped up the woman into his arms from her sea of suitors and pinned her against the wall. His extremely gorgeous face was tainted with regret. “Be good and listen to me. Let’s get married again tomorrow!”Hesper sneered. “Mr. Duval, I don’t love you anymore. Please have some self-respect!”

Auretta never imagined that one day, her mate would slander her, reject her, send rogue assassins to kill her and claim her pack and all its members ten days after she gave birth to their son. However, the two rogue assassins did not murder her. They helped her take revenge and reclaim everything Alpha Andrew had taken from her. Alpha Andrew of the River Oval Pack was unaware that his former mate dared to pose as their child's nanny and was secretly plotting to destroy him. Will Auretta succeed in her revenge, or will she allow herself to fall back into the arms of her ex-mate?

Riya and Kayish were madly in love, so deeply that everyone believed that they would end up in a happy married life. That's how he loved her. He was very possessive of his property, especially when it comes to his girl.On the other hand, Riya was blindly in love with him. She left her parents because of him, she found her happiness within him and was ready to start a new life but an unexpected tragedy happened in their life that no one could have predicted.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~She had good news for him. She was so happy. After all those things that she has been through, finally, their family will be complete. She already waited a whole day and she now she just couldn't wait to share her happiness with him. But just as she was about to tell him, he broke her fragile heart into a million pieces and left her saying it was all just a drama he played with her all along; The marriage which she preached was just another key to win her trust and to fulfill his vengeance. He dumped her that day without knowing that he left a piece of him growing inside her.Does he get the chance to know about his child? What will happen when these two cross their paths in the future? Will they let go of their revenge and ego and hatred to get back their love? Or will it be too late for him to realize his mistake?Read to find out what happens. : )

They told me an alpha’s daughter must choose a man to take the rank and position of Alpha of her pack. Why? They said I was too fierce, too headstrong, that this was my father's last wish. Was it? They picked out potential partners and pushed their top choice forward.They said he's the best man for the job. Was he? Lies. In this labyrinth of deceit and manipulation, a twisted game of power and betrayal is at play. They think I have nothing but they're wrong. I have two men ready to stand by my side. Julian Knight, my bodyguard. A man they don't realise is ready to d!e for me. And Quade Steele, the Lycan King. A man as dangerously powerful as he is handsome, offers me his partnership. I know he has his own agenda, but what is it? I'll pay any price for revenge because I am the very storm that will destroy them all. I’ll reclaim what’s mine, turn the world on its axis, and become the ultimate master of the very game created to ruin me. My name is Layla Blackwell and I'm nobody's b!tch.

"It makes me happy when you scream my name because it convinces me that no one will bring you pleasure like I do. I was your first and I'll be your last.." ****** After a heart-shattering discovery of my boyfriend's infidelity, my world fell apart. Now I wasn't one to drown my sorrows in but that night was an exception. Shot after shot and what did I get? A devastating notice that I had somehow ended up in the bed of a very handsome stranger. But that wasn't all, with a marriage proposal slapped on my face and not much of a choice, one could say my life was about to become a lot more than I bargained for.