Man, 'Wide Awake' is such a specific vibe. It's a coming-of-age story about a closeted high school boy, Duncan, who's deeply infatuated with a closeted football player, Jimmy. The main driving force is this sense of obsessive, all-consuming longing. Duncan spends his days analyzing Jimmy's every move, trying to decipher coded signals that probably aren't even there. The plot really hinges on the tension between his rich internal fantasy life and the painfully awkward, often disappointing reality of their interactions. It's less about a grand external adventure and more about the intense, sometimes suffocating, interior landscape of a teenager who feels like he's living a double life.
For a book with 'awake' in the title, there's a lot of sleepwalking through the mundane rituals of school, all while Duncan is vibrating with this secret awareness. The climax isn't a big dramatic confession to the world, but a series of small, personal awakenings—moments where the fantasy either shatters or painfully, tentatively, brushes against something real. It left me feeling strangely seen, like I was rereading my own old, cringey diary entries.