Willy Wonka Funny Quotes

Aku meninggal pada hari ulang tahunku sendiri. Namun, orang tuaku dan suamiku sama sekali tidak menyadarinya. Mereka malah sedang sibuk menyiapkan pesta ulang tahun untuk adik kembarku dengan sepenuh hati. Ketika adikku dikelilingi semua orang untuk memilih gaun pesta, aku diikat erat dan dilempar ke dalam ruang bawah tanah. Dengan seluruh tenaga yang tersisa, aku menekuk jariku yang hampir patah, lalu dengan susah payah memasukkan empat angka: 9395. Itu adalah kode darurat sederhana yang dulu pernah kusepakati bersama suamiku, Willy. Itu adalah sebuah sinyal yang harus dia mengerti jika aku berada dalam bahaya. Tak pernah kuduga, pada akhirnya, kode itu benar-benar kupakai. Namun, Willy tidak percaya. Dia membalas dingin. [ Valerie, cuma karena aku nggak bawa kamu beli baju baru, kamu sampai berakting begini? Gaun tahun lalu masih bisa kamu pakai. Sampai jumpa nanti di pesta, jangan bikin ribut. ] Dia tidak tahu bahwa gaunku sudah lama digunting habis oleh adikku. Dia juga tidak tahu bahwa satu detik setelah dia menutup telepon, nyawaku sudah melayang. Jadi, pada malam pesta ulang tahun itu, aku memang tidak pernah muncul. Namun ketika semua orang melihat hadiah ulang tahun yang sudah kusiapkan terlebih dahulu untuk adikku ... mereka semua langsung kehilangan akal.

Georgia Brooks, the notorious, troublesome tomboy is the caretaker of Clark Brown, the mysterious, cold man who is an undercover billionaire. Georgia's motive is to uncover him and just make him happy. But what when secrets are revealed and the badass tomboy is close to tears? Join them on this rocky road of adventures which includes their occasional fights and revenge, stolen kisses, trip to a circus, journey to England, landing in jail and much more! Excerpt from a chapter : His lips curled in disdain and just when he was about to unwrap the towel, I quickly turned around showing my back to him. What the fucking hell? What if I saw his thing? "Don't you care? Like honestly, couldn't you just order like your usual self to get the hell out of your bedroom or just . . . turn around for you to change? You could have at least warned me that you were freeing your willy, I would have closed my eyes!" I rambled and felt myself feeling all jittery again. He didn't reply and I could mentally picture him scoffing or rolling his pretty eyes. A part of me which never saw a grown man's buddy down there was curious as to how it looked. Was it really long and monstrous like a huge sausage they describe in erotic scenes? Was it soft like a banana or hard like a radish? Was is it like spring that when you poke it, it would go wagging like a dog's tail? A teeny little peek would do no harm . . .

This is the tale of how the sexist remark, "Men are scum," was delivered to me on a scalding plate! Guess what? It all started with a birthday surprise party for my boss's fiance, but I was slapped with horror when I saw my boyfriend of two years being kissed by my boss with an engagement ring around both their fingers. Turned out I had been the side chick for two bloody years! Funny enough, I wasn't served a heart break alone, my boss had also been toying with the emotions of Cole McPherson, and together we swore to take revenge. Would I still scream, "Men are slime!" at the conclusion, or will my beliefs alter in the process of seeking revenge alongside Cole?

They say memories stored in our brain could be sometimes forgotten, but then the heart does not forget. Because our heart always remember, the heart recognizes our beloved when our brain couldn't. Years after they lost contact with each other, Zhanaia encountered Dion again on the same place where they met. And funny how destiny works, they met again just like how they first met, accidentally bumping with each other. Zhanaia's heart was filled with joy, she couldn't contain her happiness and jumped to hug Dion, not wanting to let him go again. But all the hope in her shattered when Dion pulled away from her embrace and asked her, "I'm sorry, miss, but... who are you?"

Gwen is a rogue who hates pack wolves. After her parents were brutally murdered by their pack for a crime they did not commit, Gwen has had nothing but hatred in her heart. On a night hunt, Gwen encounters the legendary rogue killer, Alpha Liam. A man who hates rogues with every fibre of his being. However, the moon goddess likes to play funny games. Liam and Gwen are mates. But this bond does not stop their hatred for each other. Liam takes her back to his pack, unable to leave her but hateful of her existence. He offers Gwen a deal. They would be mated for as long as it took for her to produce an heir. The rogue and alpha are dancing on the thin line between lust, love and hate. Can they pretend for long?

After a 12-year absence, Austin returns to the horse farm in Wyoming she has always considered her true home. But things have changed, and the farm she inherited comes with some enemies - one of them being the Carter family. Cortland Carter now handles his family's affairs and is determined to get the water rights back from his neighbor, who won them from his grandfather in a poker game. Fate has a funny way of bringing people together, and when Austin saves Cortland's niece, the two finally meet. Despite the feud between their families, they both feel a mutual attraction that cannot be denied. But with their families at odds, is there any hope for a future together? "Coming Home" is a heartwarming tale of love and betrayal.

Until recently, Carolina Lane has lived a normal life, but when she moves to this town, things change. Having Kayler Brown, the sexiest and most respected boy in school, as a neighbor is not funny at all. While Caroline is trying hard to make this bossy yet meddling boy stay out of her business, she receives death warnings: Attention, Carolina. The forest will be your new enemy. Do not approach Kayler, or otherwise, your death will be even more painful than I had planned. Who sent this letter? What is Kayler hiding behind? What's the secret of this town? Caroline desperately wants to figure out the truth. However, Kayler won’t answer the questions. He just takes her hand and gazes at her. “You are mine.” He said.

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

How can a young, cute man have bad intentions? He just wants to "warm your bed". Open it and experience a whirlwind romance. “I Slept With My Ex-boyfriend's Uncle” When I was drunk, I went to see my ex-boyfriend and tried to get back with him. But when I woke up, I found his uncle lying beside me. “A Brave Jump to My Crush” A love story between an aloof Prince Charming and a funny underachieving girl。 I had been in love with him for many years, and I finally went after him. On the night of our classmate reunion, I pretended to be drunk. I took his clothes off and tried to sleep with him. But I regretted it halfway through.

Deception, indecision,envy, love take the order of the day as Davina Othis, a human girl who is hated and not wanted by her family gets transported to an alternate universe by a witch. In this universe, she finds out that human beings are given abilities to shape shift into wolves and more importantly, herself in alternate universe,is Alexis (her doppelganger) the alpha, Calvin Sanchez's mate and Alexis is missing. Frail hearted and desperate to stay alive in a world of animals, she plays the part of Alexis, the Alpha's real mate with the help of the alpha's aide and trusted friend Dante. Dante protects her from the werewolves and teaches her how to act like Alexis and they both deceive Calvin, the Alpha. But what will happen when the conspiracy between Raymond Sanchez, Calvin's elder brother and the Beta wolf and Amber the alpha's ex girlfriend is revealed and Alexis is actually dead not missing. Will Dante be able to protect Davina as Raymond and Amber try to kill her? What will happen when Calvin, finds out that his mate is not only an impostor but also a human being unable to shape shift into a wolf? And what will unfold as Dante begins to fall deeply in love with Davina, the alpha's mate. Will he go against the alpha? And also, what will happen to Calvin, the Alpha as his elder brother Raymond, the beta leads a pack of rogue wolves and tries to become the alpha? Read Fated To More Than One Alpha to find out.