Within You Or Without You Mga Nobela at Kwento

They aren’t here for me physically but I know they’re here in spirit. “How can you see into my eyes, like open doors? Leading you down into my core. Where I've become so numb. Without a soooouuul. My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold. Until you find it there and lead it back home” My voice carried itself up into the ceiling and the echoes vibrated off the walls and surrounded me in a hug. “Now that I know what I'm without. You can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real. Bring me to life”

She looked at her reflection in the mirror behind the bar, she looked at the woman staring back, and she realized, with a sudden, strange sense of power, that she had nothing left to lose, she had lost the man, she had lost the friend, she had lost the illusion of a perfect future, and in that loss, there was a terrible, dangerous kind of freedom, she didn't have to be anything for anyone anymore, she could be herself, whoever that was, she could be angry, she could be sad, she could be broken, and it didn't matter, because no one was watching. The door opened behind her, a gust of cool air sweeping into the bar, she didn't turn around, she kept her eyes on her glass, she was in a cocoon of

I sigh. “I don’t want to be a bottleneck,” I say. “Or a ghost.” “There’s a third option,” he replies. “What?” I ask. “Be present without being pivotal,” he says. That sounds elegant. It also sounds terrifying. Presence without pivot means influence without control. Contribution without indispensability. Love without ownership. I don’t tell him that part. But he sees it anyway. “This is the cost of what you wanted,” he adds gently. “You asked for coherence instead of dependence. You got it.”

And let myself be fully present in it. Without apology. Without absence. Without shadow. Just here. In the room I built. In the life I made. In everything that was mine.

I sometimes think my thoughts have its own thought, and it made me feel crazy thinking about it. “No, I’m not you. I mean, in a way.” “Uhm, yes you are.” And here I am, debating with myself. “Listen carefully Ell, I am not you okay. I also thought that you and I are one and that I am also talking to myself. But I figured that I am a different being. I am inside you, for starters. It’s like I am another version of yourself.” “What do you mean inside me?” “I can’t explain it, okay? I just woke up one day and I’m here. This is also new to me. I am confused as well.”

"Why? Why wear anything?" Because we are not, the voice says. And for the first time, something like emotion. Something like loneliness. We are the space between. The waiting. The not-yet. We exist only in potential. In the moment before choice becomes consequence. We hunger for what you have. Solidity. Story. Self. The absences press closer behind the crack. I feel them reaching. Not with hands. With attention. With the weight of being noticed by something that has no shape of its own.

“Come with both your Daddies inside you. Let us feel you fall apart.” I shattered.

You are loving every bit of your life, currently. But one day, everything around you comes to a halt. You get sidetracked. You are lost and you don’t know what to do. You look around but there is nothing or no one to hold on to. You are all alone. You want to run but running is not an option. You are in a deep pit. There is nothing you can do about it coz it was you who bought it upon yourself.

You show me a glimpse and I get to dance and play with them sometimes. Sometimes, I am haunted by the memories of our time together, but you will always be my everything, You are like the sun to my sky, the air to my lungs, and the blood to my veins. Without you, I am lost. With you, I'm still lost within you. I'm afraid of the intensity of my all-consuming passion. But I cannot help it. I am obsessed, driven by the fierce and unrelenting need to be with you. With you, I am home. I am where I belong.

"Why should I do that?" "If you have some shy left in your body right now, you should leave. This isn't your mother fucking house for you to stay here like you're the owner and act like you own place when in fact in the first place you're not. She don't like almighty and leave this f****** house this instant before i'll drag you. This is my only and last warning."